Title: Pet Me
Series: Saiyuki

Status: One-shot, complete
Rating: R
Pairings: TenpouXHakkai and HakkaiXGojyo, also KenrenXTenpou, SanzoXKougaiji, KomyouXUkoku, UkokuXHakkai and YsouXHakkai(augh!) if your eyes are sharp enough—or maybe blurry enough, whichever.
Disclaimer: Saiyuki and its characters belong to Minekura-sensei, the Saiyuki Project, TV Tokyo, Dentsu and Pierrot, etc.
Warning: Not-so-worksafe, cracked-up science, etc.
Notes: CWP (Cute/Crack Without Plot). This took me weeks and the better part of a Sunday to write though. Written upon the persistence of the crazy meicdon13, who was very…persistent.x_X Beta by her too.



High-pitched barking came from inside the large house as Tenpou lowered his hand after several quick raps on the wooden door. It was a sound that was neither a puppy's nor a human child's, and yet was both. Tenpou smiled, recognizing it to be Sanzo. When the door finally opened and the blond toddler with dog ears came running out on all fours, the young scientist was ready. He bent down at the waist and caught him cleanly.

"Ah! I'm glad you caught him. That child is more trouble than the rest of them combined. I have absolutely no idea what Komyou sees in him. He's…"

"Good evening, Dr. Nii," Tenpou greeted his mentor in the middle of the man's rambling, straightening with Sanzo in his arms. The blond immediately began to struggle, kicking and struggling to be let down again. Tenpou raised an eyebrow at the senior scientist apprehensively. Sanzo ran around a lot, yes, but the brunet had never seen him so...skittish before.

"Komyou took Kougaiji with him to the lab for some tests," Nii answered with a shrug as he closed the door. Tenpou followed him into the living room and sat down on the couch with Sanzo on his lap. Nii settled next to them, a lit cigarette appearing from out of nowhere between his lips. Sanzo let out a little 'arf!' of protest, but otherwise didn't react too badly.

Tenpou figured he must be used to it, with both owners of the house addicted to tobacco. The brunet's own fingers itched for a cancer stick to hold, but Tenpou resolutely kept them away from the cigarette packs in his lab coat's pockets. He was here to sit the children tonight and under no circumstance was he going to smoke—

Nii blew a stream of smoke right to his face, and Tenpou saw the smirk on the man's lips as it cleared, as if the other knew what he was thinking.

--until he was sure they were all in bed and sound asleep. Not a second later, he promised.

"How is your...ah...behind Tenpou?" Nii asked, still smirking. Tenpou made a face, remembering the incident from last week when he had accidentally cut his finger while splicing some pig genes. Fortunately for him, all sorts of problems that could possibly be encountered within the laboratory had long since been planned ahead for. He had then suffered no adverse effects from his mistake other than growing a pink and impossibly curly tail.

Tenpou hadn't really minded it, except a co-worker of his, Kenren, had teased him endlessly about it. The dark-haired man had tugged at and stroked his tail like it was a dog's instead of a pig's and Tenpou's cheeks had flushed a brighter shade of pink than his tail each time. Clearly, Kenren had not realized just how…intimate…the gesture of pulling at his tail had felt to the brunet.

"I had Dr. Hwang remove it the other day, when she told me it was safe to do so."

"Oh? But it suited you, actually. Why didn't you keep it?" Nii asked, and Tenpou couldn't tell whether the doctor was teasing or being serious. He decided a humorless answer would be the best one.

"I didn't feel comfortable. I don't really need it so keeping it would be making fun of the children," he answered solemnly, earning himself an amused raised eyebrow from his mentor.

By 'children', he meant Sanzo, Kougaiji, and the other two adopted sons of Nii and Komyou's large home. A little over three years ago, there had been a small village in the outskirts of the city where the families of those who worked in a nearby factory lived. The factory produced a new type of plastic through various chemical processes, and one day it experienced a leakage of sorts. Thick yellow smoke covered the entire area for over two and a half hours and when it finally lifted, everyone in the village appeared to be asleep. Only, they weren't asleep. They were dead. Only twelve were found to be still alive, all of them children.

Scientists had seen abnormalities in the genetic make-up of the children but had observed no adverse effects from it, and so had left them alone. It was Komyou that had pushed to further study the children. That was how, when the first of them died, the scientists were able to tell that it was due to the changes in the children's genes. Research on how to save those remaining immediately began, especially with the threat that whatever illness they had was likely to appear in vulnerable users of the plastic products.

Dr. Nii joined the research after failed experiments killed three more children. The doctor seemed to have come right out of nowhere, although it was obvious he and Komyou knew each other. More than knew each other, even, to the people they closely worked with, like Tenpou. It was Dr. Nii who came up with the gene splicing solution. The oldest of the children, at fourteen, had been expected to die five months ago, but was now still alive and well because of it.

"That must be Komyou," Nii's voice brought him out of his thoughts, or perhaps it was Sanzo jumping down from his lap that did. Tenpou followed the two to the front door, just in time to see Sanzo tackle Kougaiji and accidentally knock Komyou to the side in the process. Nii caught him cleanly, but poor Kougaiji ended up pinned to the floor with Sanzo on top of his chest.

"I did tell you not to use Kitty," Komyou reminded Nii as he righted himself. Kitty was the hunting dog whose genes were spliced with Sanzo's dog-compatible ones. "Oh. Hello there, Tenpou," Komyou greeted as he caught sight of him, and Tenpou nodded his head in return. "You're here already, that's good. Let me change my and Kou-chan's shirts and we can go."

Tenpou blinked. "You're bringing Kougaiji with you?" he asked, looking down at the rabbit-eared redhead. It was going to be a rough night with Sanzo without his plaything around…but then again, he noticed for the first time that Sanzo was dressed to go out too. "And Sanzo?"

"We're visiting my sister," seven-yeard-old Kougaiji answered with all the solemnity he could muster with Sanzo licking one of his long ears. Komyou tried to separate them then, but Kougaiji gave a sharp yelp as Sanzo bit his ear in order to not be pried off. The doctor sighed, scooping both children up with strength no one could expect from his frail form. Dr. Nii closed the door.

Kougaiji's sister was named Lirin. They had to move her to the lab a few weeks ago after she started spending the whole day asleep and the entire night awake. Kenren had suggested that maybe they needed to get some bat's genes for her. Tenpou hoped not.

"But doesn't that mean only Hakkai and Gojyo will be left here?" Tenpou asked. Hakkai and Gojyo were thirteen and fourteen, respectively, and didn't need sitting. They could look after the younger two, even, if not for their special condition.

"You explain. I'm going to get these two ready," Komyou told Nii as he carried the children away to their first-floor bedroom. "And don't forget to tell Tenpou about that!" he added just before the sound of a door opening and then closing reached the pair.

"That?" Tenpou repeated curiously, trying not to flinch at Nii's expression. There was a leer on the doctor's face that he didn't quite trust. He wasn't a completely terrible person, but the brunet had learned that Dr. Nii could be quite the sadist.

"You'd only be looking after Hakkai. Dokugakuji is taking his brother for the night," Nii answered instead, avoiding the question. Dokugakuji was Gojyo's half-brother. He had been running an errand to the nearest city when the accident happened and had been reduced to tears when he found out his younger brother survived it. Gojyo couldn't live with him because the teenager was still under observation, but he was allowed to take him home for the night once in a while.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang again. Dr. Nii opened it and on the other side stood Dokugakuji, looking very little like his half-brother with his short brown hair and muscular build. The doctor let him in and instructed Tenpou to go upstairs and get Gojyo. "Be careful," he added, which made Tenpou raise an eyebrow. But Nii was known to say the strangest things sometimes so Tenpou went anyway.

What he found in Gojyo's bedroom was something he wasn't expecting at all.

Gojyo was on his back on his bed, already dressed and ready to leave. Except his shirt was pulled out of his pants and pushed up his chest, on top of which Hakkai lay, his legs between the older boy's open ones. Hakkai was a cat, and the feline instincts that came with his cat ears, paws and tail dictated that he find Gojyo's cockroach feelers fascinating. Tenpou had never seen the two of them like this however.

There was a smirk on Gojyo's face as he lay back, just letting his best friend do all the work. One of Hakkai's ears flicked continuously as he batted at the roach's red feelers with one paw while his other paw…was somewhere inside Gojyo's open pants. Tenpou didn't really want to think of what it was doing down there.

Hakkai purred in delight, arching his back, pressing down on Gojyo who let out a groan. Tenpou chose that moment to interrupt, clearing his throat loudly just before the pair on the bed could engage into a hot kiss.

A blush spread across Hakkai's cheeks as he jumped from on top of Gojyo to the floor beside his bed, lightly landing on all fours like a cat would. The red tinge refused to disappear as the young brunet—who happened to look so much like Tenpou that Kenren thought they were brothers the first time he saw them together—slowly stood up.

Gojyo was still smirking as he zipped his pants up and straightened his shirt. "My brother here yet?" he asked Tenpou easily, as if he'd come upon the two boys only playing a video game or something.

"I'm going to get ready for bed. Have fun at Doku-niisan's, Gojyo. I'll see you tomorrow," Hakkai said quickly, before Tenpou could even open his mouth to speak, making his way from the bed to the door. Gojyo caught him by the arm and whirled him around.

"Sure thing, Kitten. Take care of yourself for me," the redhead said, before leaning down to give Hakkai that interrupted kiss. Tenpou politely turned his eyes away and went back downstairs.

"So…Hakkai is in heat?" Tenpou asked carefully once he was alone again in the living room with Nii, Gojyo having been quickly whisked away by his brother. The redhead had winked at him and warned him to 'be careful' just as his senior had earlier. Tenpou tried to push the image to the back of his mind.

"No, not 'in heat'," Nii told him, shaking his head. "Hakkai is still human, Tenpou, remember that. He's just…uh…feeling cuddly these days."

"Cuddly," Tenpou echoed wryly. He started to protest to the arrangement, quite sure that he wouldn't be able to handle Hakkai's cuddling without experiencing…problems of the worst and extremely unprofessional sort, when Kougaiji's laughter rang down the hall to where they were sitting.

"I suppose I can ask Komyou to cancel our visit…" Dr. Nii suggested with an infuriating smirk and Tenpou gritted his teeth, shoving both of his fisted hands into the pockets of his lab coat. The doctor knew Tenpou knew how much Kougaiji loved his little sister and how the redhead would be very disappointed if their visit was cancelled.

"Why can't you just bring Hakkai with you?" he asked instead of replying, and was surprised to see Nii's smirk falter a little.

"Chin Ysou is in the laboratory right now," he answered by way of an explanation. Tenpou couldn't help the grimace that crossed his features then. Chin Ysou, the son of Hyakugan Maoh who owned a large share of the ruined plastic factory, was obsessed with Hakkai. He wouldn't put it above the crazy man to take advantage of the brunet in his state right now, and Hakkai would probably let him. No, bringing Hakkai was definitely a bad idea.

Tenpou sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll sit Hakkai." At least, he trusted himself to have more control than Ysou.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down," Nii said, smirk melting into a smile that could almost pass as friendly as he stood up. Tenpou craned his neck to look behind him and found Komyou holding Kougaiji's left hand with his right one, three-year-old Sanzo on his left arm and nuzzling his neck.

"Shall we go?" Komyou asked, smiling at the two of them. Tenpou relaxed a good deal at his smile. Perhaps things weren't as bad as Nii and Gojyo were making it out to be.

As he saw the four out the door however, the longhaired doctor pressed something into the palm of Tenpou's hand. He looked down at it as Nii's car pulled out of the driveway and sped away.

Knock out pills.

Things could be worse, Tenpou reminded himself, as he lay in Hakkai's bed with its feline owner pressed against his side, his glasses removed and on top of the younger brunet's nightstand along with the pills Komyou had given him. He couldn't remember just how his sitting charge had managed to talk him into lying with him like this. It really didn't matter now, he supposed.

"Now will you go to sleep?" Tenpou asked, feeling ridiculous, because this was a thirteen-year-old he was talking to, not a five-year-old. But Hakkai shook his head like a brown-haired twerp, arching his back and pressing against Tenpou's side even harder.

"Pet me," he demanded.


"Pet me," Hakkai repeated, one ear flicking back. Tenpou wondered if that was something he could control because it was so damn cute and quite effectively stripping layers off his self-control. "I wouldn't be able to fall sleep otherwise. Dr. Nii said it's only natural and there's nothing wrong with it, so pet me."

Tenpou tried not to think of Nii petting the teenager as he tentatively ran one hand from between Hakkai's cat ears, down his spine, and to the tip of his tail. He repeated this several times with Hakkai purring contently underneath his touch. He abruptly stopped however, when Hakkai climbed to lie on top of his chest.

"Hakkai, don't," he warned his charge, trying to push him off. Hakkai let out a soft cat screech in protest holding on to Tenpou's shirt with his paws.

"No," he protested, "Pet me. I won't do anything else, I promise."

Tenpou frowned, staring into cat-like green eyes above him that were startlingly like his own pair, trying to gauge if Hakkai was going to stick to his promise or not. When a minute passed and Hakkai's paws were still where he placed them on his chest, Tenpou relaxed and started stroking the teenager's back again.

Hakkai mewled, eyes closing in pleasure, one ear flattening against his head. Tenpou found it unbelievably cute. And when he moved his hand to the other ear and scratched it, his pet purred loudly and started nuzzling his neck, paws pressing and kneading the young doctor's chest.

"So cute…so adorable…I want to own you, my pet…" Had he been thinking clearly, Tenpou would be surprised by his own words, uncharacteristic as they were. But Hakkai rubbing against him was making his mind fog up with pleasure, and he felt so incredibly hot. He wasn't even quite sure whose moan it was that reached his ears as Hakkai started to lick his throat, and he stroked the cat's ear harder in response.

"Pet me," Hakkai repeated again, between satisfied purrs.

"Hmm…Where?" Tenpou found himself asking, groaning as one of his pet's legs accidentally rubbed against his erection.

"Here…" his pet murmured, taking one of Tenpou's hands with his paw and guiding it down to his—

--Tenpou's eyes snapped open. What in the world were they doing? He gave a startled yelp and tried to move from underneath his sitting charge, but Hakkai wouldn't let him. Of course not.


"No," Hakkai protested, only it sounded more like 'nyaw' as he reached down and pressed a paw against the front of Tenpou's pants. The older of the two brunets gasped, his hand moving almost on instinct to massage the back of Hakkai's head as a reward. Hakkai's eyes slipped close again and Tenpou immediately reached for the small pellets next to his glasses, popping them into his mouth before pressing his lips against the teenager's in an open-mouthed kiss.

Hakkai was asleep even before Tenpou released him from the kiss. Komyou's sleeping pills were fast acting and the kiss had lasted for quite awhile. Giving Hakkai's ears one last scratch, Tenpou carefully slipped out of the bed.

He desperately needed a cold shower.

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