Title: 3.0 Jolt
Pairing: Cho Hakkai/Genjo Sanzo
Theme: 3.0 Jolt
Disclaimer: Don't own Saiyuki
Word Count: 2,168
My Beta: Mark
Official tormenter: Adam
I woke with a start and found myself drenched in sweat, staring up at a stained ceiling, my heart hammering in my chest. Fuck. I reached for my cigarettes and pretended that my hand wasn't trembling when I did. It was a difficult pretense when I actually tried to light the damn thing. A few muttered curses later I was finally drawing smoke into my lungs and feeling my heartbeat return to its normal steady pace. I breathed out and took another deep draw on the cigarette, savoring the hot feel of the smoke filling my lungs. It was far safer to concentrate on that purely physical experience than it was to try and decipher the dreams that had awakened me.
There was no need to try and figure out what had caused them that was obvious enough, and would be even to someone as dense as Goku could be about anything that didn't concern food; even Gojyo could figure this one out. The thought of the stupid cockroach made me choke on my smoke; that damn half breed was a pain in the ass even when he wasn't here. I stared out at what I could see of the sky over the curtains. It was nearing dawn but still early enough I couldn't justify starting the day; not even with the rest we had yesterday. I did not want to listen to the bitching that would surely ensue if I woke them up before the crack of dawn. The stupid monkey would insist that waking up before the sun makes him twice as hungry, so we wouldn't get started any earlier than we normally did. If I was going to get up and face those idiots, I wanted to get moving as soon as possible.
I soon discovered that lying in bed was no way to keep from remembering the previous day. Still sleepy, I finally quit fighting against it and let the memory of the previous day sweep over me. After the weird thing with Hakkai in at breakfast, the rest of the day had been normal enough. He had stayed away which was what I wanted. Something stirred at the edge of my mind in protest of that thought and I quickly shoved it back into its hole. Hakkai away from me was exactly what I wanted. Goku had come by and picked up my clothes and then later in the day returned them. He had been the one to bring me dinner and though having him "manage" me was annoying, it meant I didn't have to see Hakkai or that damned cockroach. Those circumstances suited me just fine. I could make sure they paid later for coaching the monkey on how to soothe the savage beast.
Alone all day, I had done little except read the paper and smoke. I didn't have any interest in seeing the town or "what it had to offer", as I was sure that Gojyo was doing. There was no way I was sitting in a damn Laundromat waiting for clothes to spin dry. Hakkai knew what we all liked and I didn't know what anyone liked but me, so it would be an extremely selfish thing for me to take over the shopping. Goku would be stuffing himself on meat buns and making a complete nuisance of himself. He would eat us to the poor house without me there to supervise. I supposed it was somewhat unwise for me to leave the card with Hakkai, who had a hard time telling Gojyo no and found it nearly impossible to refuse the stupid monkey's whining for food. He was a soft touch and they all knew it. Soft touch. That was exactly the kind of thing I did not want to be thinking about that demon. Any reference to touch brought to mind the deliberate way he had touched me earlier and I was determined not to dwell on something that meant nothing to me, no matter what it meant to him. After all it was most likely that the situation didn't exist and was simply the product of my over active imagination; just another sign of how truly weak I am.
The day had finally passed and edged into evening with the promise of our continued journey lurking near. I would not have to endure another day of idleness with my thoughts tormenting me. It was true that instead I would be trapped in Jeep with those two idiots in the back, but I could find a form of relief by simply shooting at them or employing the fine art of fan punishment. I would at least have hope of being distracted enough to keep my thoughts completely away from a certain emerald eyed youkai.
Totally disgusted with myself I considered the question of whether fan discipline could be self imposed as I walked to the window. There was a small balcony just outside. The window had been painted shut and resisted opening, but after some effort I managed to pry it free. I stared out wondering at the stupidity of a balcony with no door. The room had grown stuffy, stale with the smell of cigarette smoke and the food from dinner that still set on the table covered only by the napkin I had tossed over it and almost untouched. Goku would throw a pretty nice fit if he saw it but I was mercifully alone for the night. I had become determined to get a breath of air and so I crawled through the open window onto the balcony. I quickly discovered that it was not very stable and some idiot must have built it for looks and not use. That would certainly explain the lack of access, but the wood quit soon quit groaning and I was confident that it was not going to dump me unceremoniously down the roof into the pathetic garden below. The air was much cooler out here under the slowly emerging stars. I lit a cigarette and leaned against the window sill. I could discern a low murmur of voices, no inn was ever completely silent, but nothing to disturb the relative peace I had discovered out here purely by accident. I breathed the smoke into the night air and felt the tension ease out of my body for the first time since Hakkai had touched me the night before.
I heard the sound of a door closing and peered over the side of the balcony. I was careful not to shift my weight too much because I was unsure if the damn thing would keep holding me if I moved excessively. When I saw that it was Hakkai and that redheaded Kappa I had another reason for being still. I had no desire to attract their attention and ruin my peaceful night. No desire at all. The moon was bright and someone had lit a few torches around the so called courtyard, even I was forced to admit that the shabby weed ridden square looked better cast in shadows. Everything seemed cast into mystery even the Kappa's hair seemed inky dark instead of blood red. The pair wondered without talking to the lone tree and I watched as Hakkai touched the tortured thing's trunk as if he shared a secret with the miserable plant. Gojyo spoke to him but quietly enough I didn't hear what was said. Hakkai's smile brightened for an instant becoming almost the real thing in a way that nearly took my breath. No one else could bring the brunette closer to real emotion than Gojyo. I could only assume it was because he lived life so passionately that he dragged those around him along whether they wished to go or not.
The redhead said something else and this time Hakkai frowned. There was no sign of that fake politeness he so commonly employed in public and I wondered if this was how it always was between them. There was a trust there, a friendship that I couldn't understand and I didn't like the way it made my chest tighten as if I was missing something. Gojyo was still talking. He motioned with his hands, a cigarette trapped between two fingers and leaving a trail of smoke between them. Hakkai, who hated smoke, didn't even flinch. It was very obvious by his body language that Gojyo was unhappy about something. He stood slightly hunched and tensed, almost as if he expected someone to hit him. If he was talking to me like that I would have, but I knew no matter what he did Hakkai never would. But you never knew when the next whack might actually be the one to knock some sense into him. The point was Hakkai was not going to hit him and surely Gojyo knew that and so I was curious as to why the Kappa was looking so threatened. I shifted to get a better view but the balcony protested and I decided to remain where I was.
He fell silent and the pair stared at each other. The shadows were even darker under the tree and so I could not clearly see either face. Gojyo brought the cigarette to his mouth and drew off it the tip glowing red. When he exhaled he blew the smoke to the side and away from Hakkai. Finally Hakkai spoke and whatever he said agitated the water sprite even more and I thought he would walk away, but he didn't and settled for shaking his head. Hakkai smiled. It was a small smile; one that could almost trick a person into thinking it was his usual meaningless expression. Except that they had shifted enough that Hakkai now stood in the light from a torch and only Gojyo was still locked in shadow. I could see Hakkai's expression and meaningless was not among the words I would have chosen to describe it. Hakkai stepped closer and Gojyo shook his head again, but he didn't move away. I blinked. This most certainly could not be what it was beginning to look like…
Hakkai reached out and touched Gojyo's hair, slender fingers stroked over the surface before sliding through the thick strands and tangling there. I stared, my mouth open, there was no longer any doubt what I was looking at and Gojyo didn't protest. He didn't protest when Hakkai touched his hair and he didn't resist when the youkai used that hair to pull him closer. They were both cast in shadow now and the details of their activities shrouded in darkness, but there was no mistaking the way Hakkai fit his slender body to the bulkier kappa. Nor was there reason to doubt what the tilt of his head meant as he leaned in. I knew what it meant. I knew what they were doing. The only thing I didn't know was that if this was what it looked like. If Hakkai was in love with that damn kappa, what the fuck was he doing messing with me? I would kill him, fuck it, I'd kill them both. Not for kissing in the dark, who gave a rat's ass about that? I was going to kill them for this ridiculous ache that seeing them kiss woke in my chest. I might have been able to forgive them for arousing me, maybe. I would not forgive them for reminding me so blatantly of what I can never have and for making me want it anyhow.
I brought my mind back to the present with a harsh curse. It was their fault I had awakened with such a jolt this morning. They were the reason I still lying here awake waiting for it to be late enough to get up and drag their sorry asses out of bed. I didn't dare go back to sleep. Hakkai haunted me there. I hated to admit it but this was not the fist time he had made an appearance in my dreams. He was not the reason I refused to close my eyes and try to sleep again, after all I was almost used to Hakkai and the nearly poetic way he had of infiltrating my dreams; slender fingers caressing, dark hair soft against my skin. This time had been different; slender fingers had turned strong and blunt and the caress of dark hair transitioned into the inferno of a sunset. It was a wonder I had not awakened screaming. I was going to kill both of them. Having Hakkai drift occasionally through my dreams was one thing but he was not going to bring that perverted cockroach with him. I wasn't going to stand for it even if it meant killing them both. With a curse I got up and began to dress, there was a good chance I was going to shoot them instead of waking them up. It would be interesting to see what happened when I got there.
Go to || part 2 || Home