Title: Piss Off

Author: PunkWolf

Email: mori _ recalcitrant @ hotmail . com

Pairing: Sanzo/Goku

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: minor innuendo, lotsa language

Disclaimer: Written for fun, not profit. I own none of the rights to Minekura's Saiyuki.

Summary: Nothing seems quite right when Sanzo's not telling everyone to piss off. Yet things seem ever more off when he's not making exceptions for the monkey.


Piss Off


"Stupid corrupt hypocritical bastard."


Gojyo was a very unhappy cockroach.


"Gojyo? What wrong?"


"It's nothing, Hakkai. Just our resident holy fucker being his jerk-wad self."


"Oh? What happened?"


"Nothing, Hakkai. Just leave it alone." Gojyo slipped past his friend and continued down the hall.


"Hmmm." Hakkai was at Sanzo's door in no time at all. It was raining again, so he didn't think it'd be hard to find out what had gotten the priest in such a rotten mood. "Sanzo? May I come in?"


A noncommittal grunt. Hakkai took that as a 'do whatever the fuck you want'.


"Ah. Sanzo? Gojyo seemed a bit... flustered. Mind telling me why?"


"What makes you think it had anything to do with me?" Sanzo growled, gaze never leaving the window he stared out of.


"I can infer as much. But you are more than welcome to tell me I'm wrong." Sanzo wouldn't lie about something so stupid, and Hakkai knew it. "I see."


"You wanna know what's wrong?" Gojyo was back. "The hypocritical bastard goes around telling the entire world to go fuck themselves..." A sinister grin blossomed on Gojyo's face. "No... the entire world, except for Goku."


"Shut up you piece of shit!" Sanzo roared, finally turning to face them. His eyes snapped briefly toward the doorway before landing on the offending sprite once again.


Gojyo ignored him, however. "You know, it's true. Goku is never on the wrong end of Sanzo-sama's almighty fuck off finger."


"Shut up or DIE!"


"Why, Sanzo-sama? Because you know it's true? You go around all day 'Muichimotsu this, Muichimotsu that' yet you're so goddamn attached to the monkey..."


"I am NOT attached to anything!" Sanzo bellowed, whipping his harisen out threateningly.


"No! I am so sick of this shit! Everytime you feel fucking sad, you snap at him and he gets all depressed and shit, and it's all you're fucking fault! Why? Huh?"


"I have no idea what you're talking about." The priest ground out.


"That's bull, Sanzo! I mean, you're already the world's fucking biggest hypocrite anyway, yet you find it necessary to go and outdo yourself once again! You're attached! Get over it and play nice with your monkey!"


"I'm gonna kill you." Sanzo hissed, but didn't move to act on his threat.


"Now, Gojyo, I don't think it's the best time to be bring such things up." Right on cue, lightning flashed through the window, followed quickly by thunder rumbling across the sky.


"No." Gojyo panted, nearly out of breath from his tirade. "This is the perfect time, because at this very moment, Sanzo's pet is out there, in the fucking rain, wondering what the hell he did wrong to incur the wrath of the almighty Sanzo." He took a few short steps toward Sanzo's windowsill perch. "And you know what that little punk did?"


Hakkai shook his head, and Sanzo's gaze narrowed.


"Nothing. He was doing nothing but being there for this asshole. Sanzo, you don't deserve the monkey at all. Sure, you dragged him outta that fucking cave, but then what? What have you done to deserve someone like Goku?"


Sanzo looked away, still scowling, but Hakkai noticed. Hakkai noticed the haunted look that flashed through Sanzo's eyes. Something clicked inside of Hakkai's mind.


Sanzo already knew that.


Everything Gojyo was yelling at him had already run through the priest's mind at one time or another.


"Gojyo." Hakkai interjected sharply. "I think that this discussion would be best left for a later time. Don't you?" The ice in his voice was direct and pointed right at Gojyo's throat.


A mixture of shock and fear flashed through Gojyo's eyes at the tone. "Fine." He spat, recovering some of his rage. "But he hasn't heard the last of this!" The redhead stomped ungracefully out of the room.


Hakkai approached Sanzo slowly. "Sanzo..."


"If you're going to tell me he's right, I don't need..."


"I wasn't going to say that, Sanzo. Because I don't think it's true. What I think... is that you need to do some thinking yourself. About... what's really important here." And Hakkai retreated, closing the door softly behind him.


The second the door clicked shut Sanzo's shoulders sagged.


It was true. Everything Gojyo had said was so fucking true it was blinding. He was nothing but an asshole to the only person who had stuck around for the last six years.


And no matter what he preached to the whole fucking universe everyday, he'd die if Goku died.


It was this attachment that made him do what he did to Goku everyday. He feared the attachment that had grown so quickly between them. He'd known he would kill for Goku since before they had left on this fucking quest, hell, he'd probably kill for Gojyo and Hakkai, too. But he had only begun to fear the hold Goku had upon him, when he'd realized that he'd die for Goku.


Or worse yet... he wouldn't die for him.


Because he knew what it was like to be the one left behind.


And he also knew another thing Gojyo'd said was true.


Goku was the only person in the whole fucking world he didn't want to fuck off and leave him alone. He wanted Goku right where he was... but was starting to think he wouldn't be able to keep him there.


Because he was the world's biggest fucking hypocrite.


Sanzo sighed and pulled his legs closer to his body and buried his face in his arms.







His head snapped up violently at the sound of his name being called, and he groaned involuntarily. He had slept on the windowsill.


Damn, he needed a cigarette.


"Sanzo!!" It was closer this time, and soon footsteps were pounding toward his door. He looked around the room. Both beds were still untouched. Goku hadn't come back last night. At least not back to their room. "Sanzo!" The voice was right outside his door now. "Sanzo! Hakkai says wake up! We're leaving!" The footsteps receded once more, and Goku was gone.


Goku was probably going to act like nothing was wrong. It's what he did. If one didn't know better, they'd think the saru had short-term memory loss.


Sanzo gingerly got up from his makeshift bed, feeling his muscles protest through nasty cramps. He hissed as his back cracked loudly.


His robes were still cinched around his waist from last night. He hadn't even taken off his goddamn boots. Fully dressed, he approached his door and reluctantly opened it. Outside on the ground sat a still steaming mug of coffee and the newspaper.


Sanzo signed quietly. Damn Gojyo for being right.




They traveled in silence that day. Gojyo too much on Goku's side to pick meaningless fights with him and Hakkai's steely silence warding off any attempts at conversation.


Goku sat quietly behind Sanzo, like he always did when something was wrong.


They stopped for lunch, and Gojyo initiated their ritual of fighting over every scrap of food. But Sanzo ignored them. Neither the gun nor harisen appeared all day.




The inn they stopped at was rather empty, garnering them each their own room, but as always, they congregated in Sanzo's room for dinner and a few rounds of poker or mahjong before retiring.


It was mahjong tonight, per request of Gojyo. They played in relative silence, broken only by declarations of 'riichi' and 'pinfu' every so often. But suddenly, Sanzo kicked the table into Gojyo's chest, earning him a undignified squawk from their tallest member.


"What the hell was that for, you impious prick?!"


"Everyone. Out. Now. I'm going to bed." The other three obediently stood to leave, until Sanzo grabbed Goku's wrist. "Except you."


Gojyo and Hakkai shared a smile, unnoticed by the other two, as they crept out the door.


Goku sat down again, and looked at Sanzo quizzically. Sanzo avoided his charge's gaze until he chose to speak.


"I'm sorry." He said quietly.


"'Bout what, Sanzo?"


"You didn't do anything wrong. I had no right to... treat you like that yesterday."


Goku looked like he finally understood. "It doesn't matter. I'm used to it."


Sanzo let out an exasperated sigh. "You shouldn't have to be used to it." He tugged on Goku wrist so that the boy would come closer.


"Why not? You treat everyone that way. I don't take it personally."


"But you're not everyone." Goku's confused look softened. "But I can't help it. You just have to know, that when I tell the world to piss off, I mean everyone except for Goku."


Goku got on his knees and leaned toward Sanzo. "I know, Sanzo. But you just have to know, that whenever I leave like I did, it's to get away from your obnoxious ass, not because I'm mad at you or myself." He cocked his head to the side. "You're hard to put up with sometimes, you know that?"


Sanzo growled playfully. "Shut up, monkey." Before covering Goku's lips with his own. Goku kissed back with his usual level of enthusiasm.



Hakkai opened the door to Goku's room the next morning, and feared for the worst when he found Goku not there and his bed untouched.


Upon opening the door to Sanzo's room, however, his fears were alleviated. Goku was spooned against Sanzo's chest while both slept soundly upon the priest's bed.


"They kiss and make up yet?" Gojyo drawled sleepily from his doorway across the hall.


"It seems so." Hakkai answered softly with a smile, not wanting to wake up the sleeping couple.


"Huh." Gojyo grunted upon taking a look for himself. "I didn't hear any noises last night. No make up sex?"


"It appears not." Hakkai agreed with a gentle chuckle. "But I suppose it wasn't needed."


In the room, Goku groaned and turned within Sanzo's arms to curl against the priest's chest, purring quietly.


Gojyo smiled. "Nothing seems quite right when Sanzo's not telling everyone to piss off. Yet things seem ever more off when he's not making exceptions for the monkey."


Hakkai laughed and closed the door once more.

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