Title: Indirect Kiss
Email: mori _ recalcitrant @ hotmail . com
Warnings: innuendo, language
Disclaimer: Written for fun, not profit. I own none of the rights to Minekura's Saiyuki.
Summary: Sanzo discovers just how much fun torturing the kappa can be with the right accessories... namely, Goku.
"Yo, Bozou, I'm talkin' to you!"
"Are you a homo?"
"If I recall, we've had this discussion before, and the punch line was 'Gojyo gets shot.'"
"Yeah, but that was along time ago... back when ladies weren't so few and far between."
Sanzo looked back at the Gojyo, a suspicious glare securely in place. "What are you getting at, kappa?"
Hakkai looked back and forth confusedly between his companions, first to Sanzo riding shotgun then back at Gojyo through the rearview mirror. He had a feeling this wouldn't end well.
Goku remained blissfully ignorant, sleeping peacefully in the seat next to Gojyo.
"What does it sound like it means, oh great Sanzo-sama?"
"I am not stooping to your level, kappa. Whatever you're getting at, you better damn well spit it out or find a bullet lodged up your ass."
"Aw, c'mon Sanzo. No reason to be so harsh. After all, I'm probably the closest thing your celibate ass had ever had to a lover. What with our in-direct kiss, courtesy of the Great Merciful Goddess."
Sanzo growled. "That's a lie."
"Ha! Like you've ever gotten laid in your life! No who isn't a virgin would have a stick wedged as far up their ass as you!"
"I'm serious, baka, you'd better shut your goddamn mouth before I shut it permanently..." Sanzo hissed.
"Gojyo." Hakkai intervened. It seemed like Sanzo was really ticked this time. "It would be wise to stop taunting Sanzo now."
"Aw, no, Hakkai. Sanzo's just upset that I was his first kiss, and jealous that he ain't gettin' any!"
"If I recall Gojyo, neither are you." Hakkai reasoned.
"No, that's totally different. I've proven my worth in the bedroom many times over. Sanzo, on the other hand, has yet to prove he's ever had a wet dream."
"Shut up, kappa." Sanzo growled again.
"Aww, what are you gonna do? Whack me with yer fan?"
"Ha! Nothin' to say! Tell me, oh-holy-one, can you prove me wrong?"
"Haha! I knew it! I knew it!" Gojyo trumpeted. "Well, then wha-do-ya-say, monk? Want me to be the first to-" Sanzo cut Gojyo off as he turned in his seat, hauling Goku up and out of slumber, and firmly locking their lips together.
It took a moment for Goku to wake up and grasp the situation, but when Sanzo slipped his tongue past Goku's unresisting lips, he responded to the kiss without hesitation. By now, Hakkai had stopped the Jeep and was staring at the spectacle in front of him along with the slack-jawed Gojyo behind him.
Eventually, Goku moved to grasp Sanzo's upper arms and began purring into the priest's mouth. This went on for over a minute with Sanzo kneading Goku's mouth for all it's worth and Goku pressing against the seat back in front of him in a useless attempt to get closer to his guardian. Hakkai got the strange feeling Goku was all to comfortable with Sanzo's actions, and he wondered if the monkey even knew he and Gojyo were there.
Gojyo just stared baffled at the session before him, mind currently not capable of processing thought.
Sanzo, however, had never had such a good time shutting the kappa up. He almost smirked into the kiss as his fist tightened around Goku's arm and continued to deftly taste Goku's pliant tongue, molding it against his own. He heard Goku moan into his mouth and was given a soft nip on his bottom lip. He felt the boy's breath ghost over his cheek as his charge adeptly breathed through his nose to prolong their kiss.
All too soon, Sanzo felt Goku pull back. He then noticed that Jeep had stopped moving and that both Hakkai and Gojyo were watching them wide-eyed. He felt Goku tense a bit under his grasp and gathered that Goku must not have known they had been there the whole time.
Goku's confused gazed passed from Hakkai to Gojyo before falling once again upon Sanzo. "Sanzo, what's going on?" He asked, voice revealing only disorientation and not a hint of the expected embarrassment.
"I was just proving Gojyo wrong." Sanzo answered, withholding yet another smirk at his charge's dazed expression.
"Oh... what did he say?"
"That he's the closest thing I've ever had to sex."
Goku looked at Gojyo oddly. "Well, even I could have told the kappa what a stupid idea that was. Did ya hafta wake me up?"
"Yes. Now go back to sleep, monkey, you're gonna need it."
Goku looked once more at Gojyo and Hakkai before separating himself from the monk and returning to sleep, looking only slightly uncomfortable with the situation.
Sanzo turned back around after Goku had once again fallen asleep. Hakkai couldn't help but notice that their quasi-leader looked a bit uncomfortable himself. He was about to allay Sanzo's nervousness, when Gojyo seemed to come back to himself.
"What the hell monk!!!!" Sanzo only acknowledged Gojyo's outburst with a brief side glance, before turning to Hakkai.
"Well? What are we stopped for? Get moving!" Hakkai obeyed.
Gojyo fumed. "Oh, no. Don't you ignore me you shitty-assed priest. You tell me NOW why the fuck you picked the monkey over a stud like me!"
This time, Sanzo smirked before turning to face the sprite, leer fading quickly into a heated glare. "You ever find out... and I'll kill you for real." He snarled before facing front once more.
Gojyo balked at the blatant innuendo.
Without shifting, Sanzo addressed Hakkai. "Go faster. I wanna be at an inn in an hour tops."
"As you wish, Sanzo-sama." Hakkai answered sweetly, not wanting to further frustrate the priest. The healer looked back at Goku via the rear-view mirror, and noticed the angry, but almost imperceptible red marks barely hidden by Goku's high collar. Goku sniffed and fidgeted in his sleep, covering the marks under his collar again.
Hakkai laughed. And Sanzo looked at him like he was crazy.
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