Rating: G possibly PG
Warnings: language?, SPOILERS
Disclaimer: Written for fun, not profit. I own none of the rights to Minekura's Saiyuki.
Summary: Sanzo finds out just what he missed while he was away. Spoilerz for Even A Worm 27
Email: mori_recalcitrant (at) hotmail (dot) com
The kiss was slow, tender and completely the opposite of everything Sanzo was.
"Oi, monkey." Sanzo growled across the dinner table at his charge.
Goku's only response was to look up from his diminishing meal to meet Sanzo's gaze.
"What's wrong with you? You've been moping around on your ass for weeks."
Gojyo and Hakkai shared a glance. They had already heard the story behind Goku's recent depression straight from the monkey's mouth. This would be an interesting conversation.
"I haven't been moping." Goku denied as he dug into his food once again.
"Don't play dumb with me, saru. Ever since the dipshit bishop went down, you've been acting freaky. Spill."
Goku put down his chopsticks and averted his gaze to the floor. Hakkai deemed this a moment between monk and charge that should be privet, and quickly ushered Gojyo out of the room.
Goku sighed. "It's just... I met this girl..."
Sanzo's entire body stiffened. He had not been expecting this turn of events. Not in a million years. Goku... and a girl...?
"What happened?" Sanzo asked, pressing his charge for more information.
Still not meeting his guardian's eyes, Goku continued in a whisper. "She kissed me... and the she was gone. I didn't even know her name..."
Sanzo felt two things at that moment. One, a pang of sympathy for his dejected charge and two, a startling need to find this girl, and kill her.
"Was that your first kiss?" He asked Goku softly.
Sanzo sighed. He had no experience in comforting heartache. Goku's old fear of loneliness he could handle, but this was completely uncharted territory for the priest.
It was then Sanzo noticed Gojyo and Hakkai's sudden absence.
"Did they know about it?"
Goku nodded again. The younger man began to shift food around his plate with the discarded chopsticks.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Sanzo asked, a little hurt by his charge deliberately keeping something from him. Did Goku really feel like he couldn't come to Sanzo like he had always done back at Chang'An?
Goku shrugged. "I don't know. It didn't seem like something you'd want to hear about."
"So you told the kappa?"
Shaking his head furiously, Goku clarified. "No. I told Hakkai and Hakkai told Gojyo. He's actually been ok about it."
"I didn't think you'd want to listen. With all that's happened with Hazel and stuff... it just didn't seem important."
Sanzo leaned back in his chair and took a good long look at his disheartened charge. This incident just brought to the forefront of his mind what had been troubling him more and more lately. Goku wasn't the kid Sanzo had freed from Mt. Gogyo any more. He was growing up. He had been for the past six years. Recent events just so happened to slam it right in his face, making him unable to ignore it any longer.
And the fact that this nameless girl had stolen Goku first kiss just irked him.
Sanzo grunted. "Well? Why is it bothering you now?"
"I don't know... I guess... it's just not, what I wanted my first kiss to be like."
This confused Sanzo. "What?"
"It was nice an' all... but... I just wish there was more to it than that. One moment she was there and we were kissing... and the next... she was gone. I just felt empty."
"Yeah, you don't seem like someone who would fuck and go." Sanzo noted. Goku bristled.
"We didn't fuck!"
"Calm down, monkey. It's an expression. I just mean you don't seem like the type who would like to be all romantic outside of a relationship."
"I don't know! It's not like I have a lot of stuff to compare to! I'm not the stupid cockroach or nothin'!"
"You're right. You don't have a lot to compare to. Inexperienced baka saru. Eighteen and you just had you're first kiss." 'Not like I should be talking though.' Sanzo thought, having never been in a romantic relationship himself... aside from the one-sided attempts made at him often enough. But really, those didn't count.
"Che. S'not my fault." Goku grumbled, pushing his half-eaten plate away, golden eyes glaring at the table like it was to blame for everything.
"No. It's not." Sanzo agreed, staring intently at his charge, and severely dreading what he was about to do.
Goku's eyes shifted toward him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"That it's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault," Sanzo muttered, shifting in his seat. "It's mine." It was Sanzo's turn to avert his eyes.
Goku looked confused. "Why would it be your fault, Sanzo?"
Sanzo got up and took Hakkai's vacant seat next to the heretic. He leaned closer to Goku, whose eyes were tinted with bewilderment.
"It's my fault, because if I wasn't such a fucking coward, you'd have something to compare it too." He murmured before leaning forward all the way and capturing Goku's lips in the boy's second kiss ever.
The kiss was slow, tender and completely the opposite of everything Sanzo was. And Goku couldn't help but melt into it. This was nothing like his previous kissing experience. That had been quick, fleeting and spontaneous, and while this was most definatly spontaneous, there was nothing fleeting about it. Sanzo seemed to be pouring so much into that simple contact, Goku couldn't dream of deciphering it all. So he drowned in it.
Sanzo felt Goku gradually begin to respond to the kiss, and he didn't move to deepen it. This was hard enough for both of them, why strain it even more?
Meanwhile, a very shocked healer was standing in the doorway to the inn's dining room. When he had hauled himself and Gojyo out of the room, he had not expected this at all. To walk back to check up on the two, to find them in this position... was startling to say the least. Not that Hakkai hadn't expected it sooner or later from Sanzo... but this was all very sudden. He watched in fascination as Sanzo remained linked to Goku, both sets off unique eyes closed. Good thing Gojyo wasn't here. Hakkai slowly backed away as if any sudden movement would break this moment between his two friends.
Sanzo was content to stay like this for as long as Goku's mind remained shell-shocked, but to his disappointment, his charge soon pulled away. Sanzo met Goku's molten gold eyes, silently questioning.
Goku offered a small smile. "Sanzo?"
Sanzo redirected his gaze and shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"No! No... it was nice. I liked it... but why?"
Sanzo leaned back and ran a hand through his blond locks. "Baka..."
This only served to confuse Goku more. Was there something that he was supposed to understand? Goku cocked his head to the side in a puzzled fashion.
"Goku..." Sanzo sighed, seeing that his charge really didn't understand. "Please don't make me say it. Just think about it, would you?"
"Think about what?"
Sanzo only looked meaningfully at the burnet. Goku cowered, but tried to do as he was told. He thought about... Sanzo.
About how Sanzo had taken him in and put up with his antics for years.
About how Sanzo had shielded him from the slighting monks of the temple.
About how Sanzo had shielded him from Rikudo's blow.
About how Sanzo pretended not to worry, when even Goku could tell he did.
About how Sanzo had glances reserved just for him.
About how Sanzo's bullets always missed.
About how Sanzo always softened under Goku's influence.
About how Sanzo had charged off to find Goku's attacker not to long ago.
About how Sanzo had kissed him...
"Sanzo... do you..."
The distressed look in the blonde's eyes cut him off. If Sanzo was trying to tell Goku what Goku was now sure he was trying to tell him... it was killing Sanzo's pride.
Yeah... Goku understood now.
The golden eyed boy graced the priest with a smile that had been missing for a good three weeks now. It was genuine and true and it cut through all of Sanzo's doubts about whether he had done the right thing.
At least Goku had understood and known Sanzo well enough to spare him the embarrassment of saying it aloud. Sanzo wasn't ready for that yet.
Sanzo grabbed Goku's wrist and pulled him into an impromptu embrace.
Goku wrapped his arms around Sanzo's shoulders and buried his face in the crook when Sanzo's neck met shoulder.
Yeah... Goku understood... that Sanzo loved him.
Go to || Home