By: PristineCladestine

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Gokuxikkou, mainly Sanzo

Description: Drinking with the ikkou means trouble for Goku, or does it? This is a fun Goku-centric story, can't you tell that I adore him?

I do not own Saiyuki, Minekura-sensei does! And I am only using my brain to muster up some good, wholesome fun!

This is man love, this will be your last warning, if you continue - expect the ikkou to get rowdy - with each other! I incorporated my favorite URASAI!

Boys, Toys, and the West

The long route to the West was arduous and every town looked alike, every inn looked alike. Every damn day with no demons consisted of heavy sighs and moans and nothing to do! What could possibly brighten up the ikkou's day?

"Sanzo! Hey, Sanzo!" called Goku from the back seat, he seemed to be the only active one.

Sanzo sat in his designated seat, only grunting as a tell to Goku that he was awake, but probably not listening.

"How much further? Huh?"

"Well Goku, I'd say about maybe another hour or so until we reach the nearest town." Hakkai piped in, knowing Sanzo had no idea.

"Good! I hope they have great food!"

Goku's hunger ambitions were keeping him occupied as the rest of the party relaxed and lagged on. Hakkai drove, Sanzo snoozed and Gojyo lifted his little weights. On the horizon a small roof appeared that grew into a very large building upon dusk.

"Sugoi! Hey, look!" Goku shouted.

The party looked up and saw what Goku was now pointing at. It seemed like a large cathedral, but Sanzo did not believe it to be so.

The jeep entered the bustling town, that seemed more like a city, and with all the people it was incredibly hard to drive. They started to walk and went in search for a place to stay as the entire town lit up, but sadly, every inn they checked was sold out.

"Oi, Hakkai, where did you bring us?" Sanzo asked incredulously.

"The next stop on my map. Maybe it's just a tourist weekend?" He laughed a little.

"Well, wherever we are, we need a place to stay. Sanzo's credit card should be able to get us into a place." Gojyo chimed.

As he did a group of scantily clad women walked by and overheard their conversation.

"Did we hear correctly?" one peeped, with blonde hair and a red short cut dress.

"Maybe, maybe not." Gojyo flirted.

"The man you are with is a Sanzo?" asked the brunette with a blue dress that matched the other girl's.

"And you have no place to stay?" a redhead asked with a green dress.

"That about sums up our predicament, ladies." Gojyo winked.

"You can stay with us!" they all squealed in unison, which made the ikkou cringe.

"We'll take you in!"

"Come on!"

"Don't worry about a thing!"

The guys were being dragged and Gojyo stepped lightly, they seemed to be going in the direction of the cathedral type building. They stopped in front of it and saw many people staring at them from the sidelines, women whispering to each other and men sneering or leering.

"We're here!" each woman chimed.

"Where exactly is 'here'?" Hakkai asked, smiling as sweetly as he could.

"Where we live."

"And where you'll be staying the night."


"Of course ladies." Gojyo said as he wrapped his arms around the women and strolled inside.

The room was bright and the walls were papered with floral print and wooden finishing at the bottom, you could see stairs heading up and hallways leading everywhere. There was a waiting room right by the reception desk and the couches looked like expanded marshmallows and in between two was a table with a large vase of fresh flowers, a grandfather clocked chimed the time: ten o'clock. This seemed like a different inn than most.

"Good evening ladies, I see you have found new customers." A man with circular trim sunglasses said, he dressed like a man of wealth and didn't know how to dress himself, "I think the one might be too young though."

"Too… young?" Goku pointed to himself, "To stay at an inn?"

"What kind of an inn is this? With an age limit?" Hakkai asked, sounding upset.

"An inn? Oh no sirs, you here, are at a brothel." The man informed them with a smile.

"Did we forget to mention that?" the blonde asked, increasingly straining herself to think.

The brunette stifled a laugh, "This here is the Sanzo-ikkou, traveling West!"

"We have to let them stay here!" chirped the redhead.

Sanzo smacked his face with his palm as Hakkai pet Hakuryu; Gojyo leaned his arm on Goku's shoulder and smirked towards the trio of women.

"The Sanzo-ikkou? We can make arrangements for them!" the man clasped his hands and jumped up from his seat behind the desk. "This way gentlemen." he crooned.

They followed the man up the stairs, reluctantly, and Sanzo had to drag the womanizing Gojyo by the collar of his jacket.

"No! The - the women! Hey! Hey! Let go you dirty monk!"

The stairs were sturdy and had a nice peach rug to follow, each floor they passed the building seemed more animate and alive, after three or four flights Gojyo stopped struggling and focused on walking up each step.

"Where are you taking us?" Goku complained, "I want to eat before I die of starvation!"

"Almost there, sirs."

"So, why are no inns vacant in your town?" Hakkai asked, keeping his eyes on the man, hoping for no more surprises.

"Well, you see. You're standing in the largest brothel for miles and miles, here - it's legal to do business. We have gambling on one floor, our women on another, alcohol and whatever you want really. But we always keep it safe, and no minors." He looked at Goku; Goku gave him a mean stare and turned his head away.

Sanzo counted about ten floors when they finally stopped, this floor had lamps that looked like candelabras and a large oak door, the man brought out a shining key to open it.

"Here we are men; everything you'll need is in there. If you desire anything else, a phone is on the stand by each bed. Good night." He whistled.

He stepped aside to let them walk in and this place was wonderful compared to the horrid places they stayed before! The man placed the key in Sanzo's hand and winked; Sanzo brushed it off and closed the door - swiftly locking it behind him.

"Sugoi!" Goku announced and hopped into a small kitchen area, obviously about to raid the refrigerator of its contents.

Gojyo counted, "One, two, three, four, five, six - six doors. I think they're all separate rooms, and a bathroom and that door is probably a closet door."

"That would be nice. Hakuryu, do you want to rest now?"

A squeal that could only be translated by Hakkai meant 'yes' and he walked to a room.

"I guess I'll be first to claim a room then." He strolled to the one nearest the closet and entered.

Sanzo tossed the key aside a table by the door that held up a vase of white flowers and then parked himself on a couch in the living area that divided the whole, huge room.

"This is like living in a flat." Gojyo said, "But there's no lady friends here - yet. "

Sanzo made an aggravated face and looked over towards Goku who was shoveling food into his mouth.

"If you eat too fast, you're gonna' make yourself sick."

"Nom m ot!" he swallowed, "I've eaten more."

Hakkai left the room he entered earlier, without Hakuryu which meant he was resting quietly, and smiled, "Goku, are you sure you want to eat everything like that, or would you like me to cook you something?"

"Really, Hakkai? You're the greatest!"

"Yeah, sensei! The greatest!" Gojyo teased earning an empty container to the face.

"Oi! You annoying chibi monkey!"

Goku managed to escape Gojyo's wrath by locking himself in the nearest room and he let out a long sigh when he knew he was all right.


This room was filled with costumes; he scarcely could see the bed. He took off his cape and shoulder armor, his effects looked like they fit in with the costumes. Goku shrugged and took off his shoes and stretched. The bed looked comfortable, even under so much clothing. He stepped out because the scent of cooking shrimp caught his senses.

"Hey Goku, want some?" Hakkai asked, turning around from the small stove.

"Yeah!" he crept to the table.

"What are you doing, Goku?" Hakkai asked, baffled.

"Just in case Gojyo wants to pop out. I'll be ready!"

Hakkai smiled, "Oh don't worry about him. He and Sanzo decided to take a break in their own room."

"Yatta!" he ran over to eat and then heard a door opening.

"Don't let the smallest eat the most, Hakkai."

Gojyo sat down and made his own platter, "And the monk?"

"I'm right here."

Sanzo was behind Gojyo and Goku and scared them both, Goku almost choked on some rice and had to gulp down most of his juice.

"Creepy monk!"

"Sanzo! You scared the heck outta' me!"

They all ate and Goku hopped on a couch to relax after his meal while the adults sat at the table and soon Hakkai cleared the mess.

"Thanks Hakkai!" Goku hollered and rolled over on his stomach.

"I was happy to do it, Goku."

"Oi, I never noticed that before."

"Hmm? What?" Goku's curiosity piqued.

"A mini bar. See? It's over by the bigger refrigerator."

"Oh yeah, cool." Goku obviously did not care all that much.

Gojyo walked towards it and took out some bottles, "And it's not those small bottles." He held long-necked and cubed bottles and walked to the table. "Care for a drink?"

Sanzo stared at them, all knowing he would extremely like a beer at the moment, but he only saw liquor of the town and wondered how strong the proofs were on them all.

"I'll take one."

"Oh, and me, too." Hakkai called out.

"Me, too!" Goku piped, not wanting to be left out and a bit interested to taste what all three men liked so much.

"Goku, you can't have any - you're too young." Hakkai said, uneasily, "I thought you knew that."

"Yeah, but - so?" Goku flopped over the side of the couch.

"You can't get past that logic, Hakkai." Gojyo said, grinning and pouring a fourth glass but a hand stopped him.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Aw, c'mon Sanzo. Just this once? Please?" Goku whined.

Sanzo thought back on the time the ikkou was challenged to a drinking game with some ruffians of a bar, Goku passed out completely on a table, unable to take in the alcohol. Goku saw Sanzo's face and completely rolled off the couch.

"Aw, but that was the one time! And I had to drink so much! This will be different; you guys can keep tabs on me!"

"That's true, and I doubt it will hurt him."

"You too, Hakkai?" Sanzo felt all three men looking at him and scoffed, "Fine. But only once, d'ya hear me?"

"Yes!" they peeped like schoolboys.

The clock in the flat read midnight and the boys were still at the table chatting, seemingly bored except Gojyo who brought more bottles when one emptied.

"I'm not s-stopping… until we… find one you… like!" he sputtered and poured some honey-tinted liquid in Goku's glass.

Goku took a sip and made a face, "This is gro-o-oss!"

"Here, maybe if I pour you a second one, you'd like it more since the first is already on your tongue."

"That's a… great idea!" Goku gulped down a second glass of whatever it was, "Naw… still disgusting!" he slammed his glass down which awoke a sleeping Sanzo.

"Huh? What's going on?"

"You see my dear fellow, Gojyo wanted to find a glass of something that Goku fancied, if he didn't like the first glass he'd try a second and a third and so forth my good man, but Goku hasn't enjoyed any so far. And there are… one, two, three… many empty bottles now."

Sanzo shook Hakkai by his shirt, "How long has this been going on?"

Hakkai put a finger to his cheek and thought, "Umm… since… you passed out, dear sir."

More shaking ensued and Hakkai's hair became frazzled, "Why weren't you watching them?! And why are you talking like that?"

"I was, Sanzo." Hakkai informed, obviously more drunk than he looked.

"It's the monocle!" Goku hollered as he lifted his glass high in the air.

"That's it, no more. Put it all away."

Goku giggled and his laughter turned into bouts of rib clutching and bursts of stifled hoots and Gojyo kept pouring trying not to spill.

"Did you hear me? It's over! No more drinking!"

Sanzo snatched the bottle, almost falling over in the process and announced that the bar is now closed.

"Aw, then what are we supposed to do now?" Gojyo grumbled, "I doubt I can gamble in this state."

"I got it!" Goku snapped his fingers, "Let's exchange clothes!" he raised his shirt in the air, with himself still in it.

"Hey, that doesn't sound too bad!" Gojyo cheered.

"Bloody hell, I guess if everyone is going to do it, I will, too. I don't want to spoil the festivities."

"Who wants to be me?" Goku asked the crowd.

"I will. Me! Me!" Gojyo volunteered. "Then, who is gonna' be me?"

"This is ridiculous! You're all gonna' go back to your own rooms and go to bed! Tomorrow I'm gonna' have a roaring hangover and we're going West."

"Is that a taker? Then that means Hakkai is Sanzo!" Gojyo made the arrangements tugging at Sanzo's robes, "And Goku will be Hakkai!"

"Good show ol' chap! Now off with those unruly clothes!"

"You-you, Hakkai!" Sanzo's muffled protests were ignored now that the game has started.

As each man was stripped they ran to their own rooms.

Gojyo came out first, pulling Goku's shirt and tugging, "Man, how small!"

"Don't complain", Sanzo came out as Gojyo and could not get his headband right, "Your clothes smell like some overexcited prom date."

"My, my, doesn't everyone look sharp?" Hakkai had Sanzo's priestly robes draped over him as well as Sanzo's scroll, "Goku, you ready?"

His door opened and Goku came out clothed in a blue dress decorated with a white apron, he had a ribbon choker and pink ribbon boots on with bunny ears topping his head, he held out a heart-winged wand and the trio stared in amazement.

"Yatta! I'm done!" Goku looked around and spotted Hakkai and pounced on him, a leg on each side with thighs brushing thighs through layers of clothes, "Am I a pretty girl, Sanzo-sama?"

"Huh? S-sure, Goku." Hakkai choked, Goku's wand almost poking out his eye - and he definitely needs that!

The real Sanzo blushed and wondered what would have happened if he was in his own clothes. An adorable little cupid to play with for the night.

"Goku, are you dense? I'm Sanzo." He self-righteously said.

"Huh? Wazzat Gojyo?"

The real Gojyo was taken aback and smirked, "Oi, Goku - who am I?"

A pause and then, "You're Goku. Aren't you?"

"Yeah!" He snickered, "And you are?"

"Well, I'm a heroine!" he flailed his wand around.

The three of them burst into fits of laughter and almost cried from laughing so hard.

"Sanzo-sama, why are you laughing at me?" Goku asked, still atop Hakkai.

"I'm not laughing at you Go- I mean, Heroine-chan. I'm just, laughing at - a funny joke."

"I see."

Hakkai sat up, his alcohol infused body creating more heat than he wished it would, he stood so Goku's equally warm body was off of him but instead Goku slid onto the floor, the friction making Hakkai almost moan but he regained composure and smoothed out Sanzo's robes.

"My ears…" Goku muttered and fixed them so they stood back up but flopped a little.

"Hey, chibi monkey is now a chibi bunny. How cute." Gojyo tried kneeling in Goku's clothes but could not seem to fix himself correctly.

"Cute?" Goku asked, looking over his shoulder and at the three men who stood before him.

All three men melted inside from the adorable little Heroine-chan. Goku's eyes were glazed and faltered from his alcohol consumption.

"Goku, where'd you acquire that outfit anyhow?" Gojyo asked, confused.

There was no reply and Gojyo thought for a second, "Heroine-chan, where'd you get that little outfit?"

"It was in my room. My room is filled with other outfits I need to wear to hide my identity!"

"Come to think of it, my room was filled with…"

"Well - what, Hakkai?"

"Sensual lubricants."

Gojyo laughed while Sanzo made an unappeased face, and Goku was still lost in thought and started to wave his wand around.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better mine was filled with sensual toys, if you catch my drift." Gojyo mockingly said to Hakkai.

An awkward silence fell upon the men, save for Goku flailing about and standing on the table top now which was dangerous due to the empty and half full bottles lying about, which made them all look at each other.

The same thought seemed to flutter through their heads and each man had a devious look upon their face. Was the alcohol imploring them to find a way to entertain themselves for the night? Or was it giving them the initiative to take a chance on their corporal dreams?

A sinner turned priest, a priest turned rogue, a rogue turned innocent… for a night.

Gojyo and Hakkai went into their respected room as Sanzo kept an eye on Goku, curious if he would fall. Goku spouted out sentences consisted of "saving the world" and "destroying dark forces" which was not far from what they were doing.

"Me and my trusty side-kick, Genjyo Sanzo, will punish you!"

"Side… kick?" Sanzo twitched. "Who are you calling a side-kick, monkey?!"

Sanzo grabbed Goku's wand so teeth were not knocked out and Goku struggled to get the magic back.

"No! I'll transform back into my normal self and you'll know my identity!"

"This monkey has had too much liquor. Let go, Goku." Sanzo snarled.

"No!" he wailed and finally broke loose only to hit Sanzo with his wand.

The two stayed still for a while and Goku finally opened his eyes to see Sanzo with a dark face and he crawled over to him on the table, which wasn't the safest things to do at the moment.

"Are you-are you ok?" he asked shyly.

His response was a hand shooting through the air and catching his that still held that dangerous baton and then the other, Sanzo tore the headband he couldn't get quite right off his forehead, showing his chakra, and pulled it over Goku's mouth, fingering it in so when he pulled Goku was quiet due to the muffler. He tried to protest from beneath his new face scarf but they came out as mumbles as Sanzo attempted to take his rubber boots off, everything Goku had were inadvertent weapons. Sanzo leaned Goku down on his back and with his free hand traced his thigh - smooth, muscled, soft. His fingers tingled and he went for Goku as a whole and saw him writhe under his pressure, pulsing under his fingertips and wearing undergarments that probably came with the outfit, Sanzo grinned. It was a difficult task to remove the red-bowed boots because he hands weren't free but his legs were and one fell after the other, Sanzo, keeping his smirk, leaned down.

"What now, Ms. Heroine?" he squeezed.

"Mmf hmpf gwumph!"

He unclasped the ribbon necklace with his teeth and found Goku rubbing against him and a slight moan escaped Sanzo's throat, he nipped at Goku's freed neck.

Doors opened and Gojyo and Hakkai stepped out, hands filled with discernable objects and minds with a plan. Gojyo strolled to Goku's left and he looked over, Hakkai placed himself at the right side and Goku pondered the men's ambitions. Blurry vision made him see two Hakkais and almost four Gojyos, Sanzo was the only singular being in the room.

A draft flew up his dress and he realized his undergarments were missing and then a cool sensation was inside of him, and a motioning finger which in time turned into two. He squirmed and writhed and felt free as the fingers left his body and sighed but he gasped when something else was inserted.

He couldn't see Sanzo stare at Hakkai who put the lubricant on the tabletop or Gojyo introduce the new toy to Goku's entrance.

"S-Sanzo?" he wearily uttered underneath the makeshift scarf.

A click was heard in the room and then slow buzzing. Vibrations waking up Goku's internal nerves and causing him to arch his back, dress falling up and exposing himself, and bite the bandana in his mouth. Another click and the vibrator shook faster and he moaned trying to steady his breathing. His arms were released and Sanzo shrugged Gojyo's jacket off and undid his pants, he saw Gojyo and Hakkai already disheveled.

A lustful urge to feel Goku's from the inside was overwhelming and he knew of his own throbbing organ was needy. He grabbed the lubricant Hakkai used earlier and coated himself, not caring about the other two's endeavors, and plunged inside.

Goku yelped and cringed from the third intrusion of the night, this time it was Sanzo-sama. He tried to make words but they were stifled and he felt Sanzo pushing in with the toy, moaning from moving friction. Sanzo held his legs up to stretch a little more and thrust deeper, how good the vibrations felt on his erection and he rolled his hips to hit Goku in all the right spots.

Hakkai played with Goku's youthful arousal and snuck a hand up his dress to tease his pert nipples, Gojyo twisted the devices connection to a higher speed and smiled as the toy buzzed with all the energy double A batteries held, sending Sanzo spurting inside of Goku and groaning. You could see the words "damn kappa" on his face, his charge whimpered and released in Hakkai's wonderful fingers. It slowly crept up his stomach and Sanzo let his legs down, and settled atop of him, using his teeth to pull down the headband and ravishing his mouth. A taste of alcohol and yearning hung in their mouths until Sanzo realized the baka zaru was asleep. Passed out on the table like the monkey he is!

Sanzo sighed but smiled and pulled out Gojyo's contraption, putting Goku to bed.

"What now?" Gojyo asked.

"We're going to have major hang-overs tomorrow, why not milk the night of what it's worth?" Hakkai asked, with a particularly odd choice of words.

A rogue, a sinner, and a new deviant - all in the same room.

What could they come up with?

Author's note: Sorry about the lame seg-way. I wanted to finish this! 

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