"I already told you," Sanzo said as he pitched his finished cigarette butt on the shadowed pathway at his feet, ghostly spirals of smoke rising from the corner of his mouth as he spoke, "if you bring it up again I will kill you."

"Why's it such a big deal to admit it?" Goku challenged with a frown, absently running his fingertips over the eroded edge of a nearby gravestone. Looking down, he flicked at a number of brown leaves that had been tugged from the parasol trees lining the path they were standing on. "It's a normal thing," he added confidently. Then, less confidently, "At least, that's what I heard."

"Oh? And who the hell did you hear that from?" Part of Sanzo dreaded to wonder who the fuck the monkey had been discussing things with, but a mix of curiosity and paranoia that Goku had been telling people things he had no damn right to got the better of him.

Even under the glow of the milky winter moon, Goku clearly flushed, his skin darkening at the rises of his cheekbones. "Hakkai," he muttered, eyeing the movement of Sanzo’s hand as he reached towards his sleeve. "I didn't tell him anything!"

Sanzo paused, doling a little more time for Goku to wonder whether he was going for his gun or not. In the end, he drew out his Marlboros, noting how Goku’s shoulders relaxed the barest bit before he continued.

"It’s just a few years back I didn’t know what was happening," Goku explained. "An’ I didn’t think I could ask you, because… um. Well you were always busy with the temple stuff at Chang’an. Anyway, then this morning when I woke up an’ you… an’ I remembered what Hakkai’d told me back then, an’ I figured you were pretty tur-"

"What part of 'I'll kill you' do you not understand?" Tossing him a scowl, Sanzo was careful to keep his voice low. The last thing they wanted was to alert anyone to their presence, especially not after walking all this way in the fucking freezing cold and dark of night. Damn Hakkai and his plan to work in 'small teams'. Of course Sanzo got lumbered with the hardest job.

"We'll cover more ground this way" my arse, he thought sourly, resisting the urge to bounce on the balls of his feet to keep warm.

Small puffs of condensation spread on the air in front of Goku's face. Sanzo watched him breathe for a moment, trying not to think about the fact that he was standing in the middle of an old, overgrown cemetery with the monkey, being ruthlessly badgered about the… the thing that’d happened that morning. The thing Sanzo was determined not to talk about - now or ever.

"If this fucking youkai doesn't show in five minutes, I'm leaving." Skimming the darkened expanse around them, he noticed a slow mist had begun washing in over the dewy grass, lazily consuming the tributes and flowers that had been laid at some of the graves. A few of the plots were totally bare – unkempt oblongs of earth with weathered rocks tilted at the heads. Sanzo wondered if anyone remembered the people inside them any more. He'd wager not.

"You can't leave!" As Goku glanced around, his voice a hurried hush, a visible shiver worked through him. Sanzo followed its progress with his eyes, all the way from the compact set of Goku’s shoulders and down the length of his lean back. Realising he was getting distracted, he snapped his focus up quickly. "This place is creepy an' I don't wanna do this alone."

Sanzo slipped a new cigarette between his lips, fishing in his pocket for his lighter. "It's not the dead you want to be fearful of."

"I know that. But that doesn't mean I wanna be walking on top of their... uh, homes. What if they get pissed off?" Goku turned a frown at him, which Sanzo simply rolled his eyes at. "Anyway, are you sure that guy at the inn said the northern cemetery? The map said there were two in Ningxia, an' one further out of town."

"This is definitely the one."

"I dunno, I'm startin' to wonder."

"Hush."

Frozen with his cigarette tip poised mere centimetres from ignition, Sanzo let the orange lighter flame fade to nothing. Movement in the distance caught Sanzo’s eyes and he inclined his head, working his lighter back into his pocket. He spat his crisp cigarette on the ground.

A shifting point of darkness edged through the white mist, weaving among the neatly sectioned burial plots. As it neared, its shape grew clearer, unmistakably a person. Sanzo began picking up the barest hint of youkai hostility, a sour taint against the chilly indifference of the graveyard.

"This is it."

"Got it," Goku murmured, Nyoi-bou materialising and lengthening in his fists, his body winding up spring-like, alert like a cat with its heckles raised. Anyone else may not have noticed the slight change in the atmosphere directly surrounding Goku, an increase of energy, a flare of excitement, but Sanzo was used to it. "Smells of death, like it’s hungry for it."

Turning his gaze away from Goku, Sanzo slipped his hand beneath his robe, drawing out his Smith and Wesson. "If it wants death, it’s come to the right cemetery."

"Ha-ha." Goku flashed a grin at him, to which Sanzo frowned, only just realising his unintentional pun.

"Let’s go." Notching up the evening’s tempo, Sanzo started making his way between the graves, hunching to keep low, thankful the grass was damp and therefore muffled their steps. Moving meant an increase in body temperature, but not only that – Sanzo figured some action might distract Goku from making any more unwanted conversation. It was a shame Goku was one of the most persistent bastards Sanzo knew – he had a feeling the topic of that morning would come up again, but at least this way he could buy some time, figure out the best way of avoiding it in future. If all else failed, strangulation wasn’t entirely out, though whether it’d be best to strangle Goku or himself, Sanzo hadn’t decided.

They neared the western edge of the cemetery where weathered wrought-iron fencing bulged into forest land. The room between the grave plots was narrower the further back they moved, like space was running out. Sanzo noted the figure up ahead had stopped beneath the arch of the trees beyond. The youkai was now bending towards one of the furthest graves as if in prayer or respect, although Sanzo knew it was for neither purpose.

Leading Goku to a nearby tomb, Sanzo crouched behind it, using the large grey stone to conceal them for the time being.

"Shouldn’t we go get him?" Goku whispered as he joined Sanzo, turning and leaning back against the tomb, his shoulder pressed tightly against Sanzo’s arm as he settled. If Sanzo shifted over any further he’d reveal himself to the youkai, so he suffered the hot, consuming proximity of Goku’s aura with gritted teeth.

"Not yet. I want to catch him in the act."

"Oh, right. Cool."

The mist was pressing in harder now, creating a looming wall like a pale shroud rising from the ground, obscuring the headstones. Listening intently for the youkai’s movement, Sanzo picked up a scratching noise from behind the tomb, claws scraping wet grass, snapping the blades. It seemed the youkai didn’t plan to waste any time.

Good. Sanzo’s anticipation was rising with the fog, Goku’s energy doing nothing to quell the heave of adrenaline about to burst, but that was okay too – when the time came there would be no room for mistakes or sluggishness, if the youkai was as dangerous and powerful as the townsfolk seemed to believe.

"Do you want me?"

In an instant, Sanzo’s concentration exploded around him, the words rushing coldly over him like a bucket of ice water. Slowly, Sanzo turned to look at Goku, directly this time, unbroken and loaded with incredulity, shock, and a little homicidal intent.

"What?" It was more a warning than a question.

Goku was staring back, too damn levelly for Sanzo’s comfort, not that anything about this was comfortable. "I just wanna know, was it ’cause it was me? Or was it…" Goku gestured randomly with Nyoi-bou, trying to articulate. "You know, ‘cause I was just a body next to you?"

Clenching his jaw until his teeth grated together, Sanzo took slow, measured breaths. If he spoke, it would be loudly, and that would scare off the youkai, which in turn would fuck up the mission, which would mean they’d probably have to do this all over again the next night. Well, screw that.

No, the best thing to do was ignore the damn monkey.

"Sanzo?" Goku whispered, leaning in closer, his words warm against the curve of Sanzo’s jaw.

Behind them, a thump rose into the night. Suddenly, a dark object came hurtling over the tomb, showering blades of grass over them. The object landed with a wet splat in front of Sanzo. It appeared the youkai had broken through the grass and was now hauling out fistfuls of mud to get into the grave.

Although Sanzo had wanted to wait until he could hear the creak of a coffin lid, he decided that with Goku breathing down his neck – both literally and figuratively – he could afford to cut a few corners.

"Just drop it, for fuck’s sake," he hissed, clenching his fingers around his Smith and Wesson. "Time to move."

"Er, damn. Okay, but I wanna - hey, wait!"

Sanzo was up on his feet, turning fluidly and launching himself over the tomb, gun aimed at the youkai, ignoring Goku’s spluttering behind him. Fucking monkey letting himself get distracted; Sanzo was in half a mind to pop one in Goku’s ass as well as the youkai’s, but he could deal with that later.

As Sanzo went to squeeze the trigger, the youkai sprang up from where he was hunkered in the grave. The next thing Sanzo saw was the flash of yellowed fangs and razor talons extended towards him, before an unearthly wail of shock and bone-white hatred pierced the air. There followed a sickening crack as a bony knee connected with Sanzo’s stomach; the pain was so fast and fierce he only felt it a split-second before there was nothing but emptiness, like the bottom of his gut had dropped away. The youkai turned mid-air with its elbow out, catching Sanzo squarely on the jaw.

"Fuck!" As Sanzo arched back the youkai once again snatched out, knocking the gun out of Sanzo’s hand mid-fall. Sanzo only just managed to duck out of the way as the youkai came at him for another hit, narrowly missing the slash of his claws. Throwing himself to the ground, Sanzo rolled back to avoid any more contact until he could regain his bearings.

Damnit, the fucker was as fast and strong as they’d been told.

As Sanzo skidded on the wet earth and pushed himself up into a crouch, he heard Goku yelling his name, followed by a curse and a typical Goku battle-cry.

With a ragged growl, Sanzo got to his feet again, his body pulsing vaguely under the adrenaline. Advancing to where Goku was holding back the youkai, Sanzo could see them engaged in a strange dance – the youkai’s movements jerky like a loping beast, and Goku flipping through the air like he’d been born from it, Nyoi-bou extending and retracting at Goku’s will.

They leaped apart, Goku skidding to a halt beside the tomb. The youkai froze in front of the grave it’d been digging up, looking from Sanzo to Goku and back again. After a moment, he raised a bushy eyebrow. "Wait, you guys are familiar." His yellow eyes narrowed. "You’re the Sanzo-ikkou!"

"That’s right, fuckwit," Sanzo barked out, ignoring the slow wind of pain curling through him from the attack in favour of trying to locate his fallen gun. The shadows at his feet were too thick to see the glint of weak moonlight off metal. The mist wasn’t helping things, either. "Shit, Goku, don’t take your eyes off him."

"I’m on it." Edging forward a couple of paces, Goku aimed Nyoi-bou dangerously at the youkai’s head. Now the youkai knew what Nyoi-bou was capable of, it wasn’t taking any chances – it began side-stepping back and forth, preparing to avoid an advance, but it didn’t draw closer to them.

Things were not going how Sanzo had planned, the whole night turning into a fucking shambles to match the one from that morning.

Actually, the more Sanzo thought about it, the closer he got to the conclusion that it was all the monkey’s fault - bringing up shit that had nothing to do with the mission, distracting his thoughts. It’d also been with Goku’s encouragement that Hakkai had settled for the last two rooms at the inn where they were staying, instead of taking up Sanzo’s suggestion of finding somewhere else with more available rooms. Because of that, Sanzo had been forced to share his bed with Goku, which had led to the events Sanzo refused to think about in too much detail.

"You found it?" Goku asked, wrenching Sanzo’s attention to the situation at hand.

"Shut up," he gritted out, dew seeping through his robes and the material of his denims beneath as he scaled the area for his gun. It would just top off an already fucked up day if he lost it.

"Na, Sanzo? I was thinking," Goku began.

"There’s a first time for everything," Sanzo muttered, only half paying attention to him. He was sure he’d just patted an earth worm and mentally added it to the list of things he never wanted to do again if he could help it.

"Ha! Funny." Goku seemed unaware Sanzo wasn’t joking. "So what I was thinking was that maybe you wanted it, but just didn’t realise it. Like, your body... wanted to, but your mind just hadn’t caught up or somethin’." The quality of Goku’s voice changed, indicating he’d turned to face Sanzo’s direction, but before Sanzo could fully process what he was saying he continued. "’Cause I know it’s not easy to admit it. At first. I mean, I had a really hard time figuring it out myself. Wait, maybe that’s the wrong way of saying it. I didn’t mean ‘hard’ time like I was always… well, I guess I was kinda hard a lot-"

"Goku." Sanzo rose to his feet, his trigger finger screaming for his elusive Smith and Wesson. God, it would be so easy to end it, put a bullet through that noisy hole of Goku’s. Perfect bloody time to lose his gun. Sanzo balled his fists, giving up his search and rounding on Goku. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, or that he was hearing it now in the midst of battle. What the hell was the monkey on?

Before Sanzo could voice his angry disbelief, a commotion yanked his attention away from the topic and the gun search. "Fuck, watch it!" he yelled, as the youkai seized its opportunity, darting forward while Goku’s focus was on Sanzo.

Goku spun around and caught the youkai with Nyoi-bou, sending him sprawling backwards to land hard on the misty ground. "Shit, he almost had me!"

"That’s your own damn fault for talking too much," Sanzo told him, striding up to Goku and shoving him roughly. "Try to fucking focus, or next time I won’t warn you."

"I can’t focus, though." Goku poked at the ground with Nyoi-bou in frustration. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to concentrate on stupid stinkin’ youkai when you’re around?" His cheeks coloured once again and he averted his eyes.

"Well you’d better, or you’ll end up dead."

Goku let out a suffered sigh. "Damnit, Sanzo, can’t you just be honest with me?" Voice rising with each word, he turned his massive, sincere eyes up at Sanzo again, a little desperation lurking in their depths. "What’s really goin’ on with you?"

"When I say ‘I’ll kill you’ I am being honest," Sanzo countered.

"You only wanna kill me ‘cause of what I felt this morning." Goku obviously had no idea just how much he was pushing his luck. "’Cause you can’t stand that I know you get turned on."

Taking a deep breath, Sanzo bit out, "It’s not that. It’s because you keep bringing it up!" Even as he tried to remain focused on the situation at hand, he realised he was losing control.

"I only bring it up because you won’t give me a straight answer!"

"The fuck answer do you want, monkey? So I get turned on, big fucking deal. I’m human, in case you'd forgotten. You were the one pressing yourself against me all night – now you act so bloody surprised by my reaction."

"I didn’t do that on purpose!" shouted Goku. He had the audacity to push back at Sanzo, his palm a fleeting but sturdy force against Sanzo’s chest, gone again in a heartbeat. "I just woke up that way an’ felt it." The fight seemed to ebb then and Goku slumped in on himself, voice going soft, dashed hope rising over his features. "It felt good. Really good."

Sanzo opened his mouth to retort, but a flash of colour caught his eye to their right. He shoved at Goku, just as the youkai made another leap, fangs bared and dripping with rage and hunger. Sanzo got a fast punch in this time, hitting the youkai squarely on the jaw. A moment later, Goku pummeled the side of its head with Nyoi-bou, sending it right back to where it had been sprawled.

"I just wish it'd been for me," Goku continued, as if nothing had interrupted him. Sanzo threw him an incredulous glare, but it went unnoticed, Goku's gaze vaguely unfocused, trained on the fallen youkai. The night went still and quiet again, but it wasn't at all comfortable. "Was any part of it for me? Any at all?"

Sanzo half wondered if the youkai was up for another round; he turned his glare on it, but the stinking bastard was only semi-conscious. Shit. Goku's question hung in the air, thicker than the mist, an echo Sanzo could still hear, even though it'd been spoken softly.

Sanzo opened his mouth to answer, to say no, no fucking way – why the heck would he get hard because of Goku? They’d touched countless times over the years and as far as Sanzo could recall it’d never brought out a reaction in him like the ones he’d been having recently.

Anyway, there was no way of knowing for sure whether it’d been Goku’s fault, or simply the fact that he’d been a hot, physical stimulation to Sanzo’s body that Sanzo had been unable to prevent. Waking with Goku's firm backside pushed hard and all-too-snugly against his groin wasn't something Sanzo had ever thought he'd have to deal with – the times when they were forced to share, Goku usually floundered across the mattress until Sanzo kicked him out on his arse.

Fuck, thinking back to it, the fit had been near perfect, like Goku had been moulded specifically to Sanzo's body, for the soul purpose of arousing him. But that was ridiculous. Sanzo cast those idiotic thoughts aside – it was just the kind of idealistic, fluffy shit Goku would think.

"Sanzo, just tell me no if it's no. I can take it. I just gotta know, is all, or this'll kill me."

Sanzo didn't look at him, staring off into the foggy darkness.

"Er, so like, can I go now?" said a rough voice. The youkai was kneeling, looking up at them, its brows furrowed. If Sanzo didn't know better, he'd say there was a decidedly bored expression on its sharp, pallid face. "Looks like you've got a lotta shit to talk about, and if you ain't gonna fight me–"

Taking a step forward, Sanzo's foot struck something on the ground. Stooping, he finally retrieved his Smith and Wesson – not a moment too soon. The youkai's eyes widened.

"Hey, I'm just hungry, man! You can't blame a guy for wantin' to eat, can you?"

Ugh, that was just too close to home for Sanzo's liking. Ignoring Goku for now, he took aim. "Try a different menu, asshole. Dead townspeople are off limits. So are alive ones. In which case, it looks like you'll have to starve."

"You bastards!" the youkai spat, baring its teeth again, clawing at the ground and dragging itself forward. As it neared, it began making grabs for Sanzo's robe. "I may be down, but I'm not–"

Bang!

Barrel still smoking, Sanzo flicked the safety catch and slid his gun back into his sleeve. Running a cursory glance over Goku, who was standing nearby, watching him closely, he shook his head. "I'm going back to the inn. Stay here, or come back – either way, don't you dare bring up this morning again, do you hear me?"

Without waiting for a reply, Sanzo strode in the direction of the gates, not looking back to see if Goku was following.

By the time he reached the wrought-iron fence, he could hear light footsteps on his heels, but thankfully Goku remained silent the rest of the way, bar the odd rumble of his stomach.

* * *

"Ah, Sanzo, welcome back." Hakkai smiled, handing Sanzo mug of coffee from the bar. Sanzo waved it off.

"Give me something with hops," he said to the barman, hitching himself up onto a stool. "And make it cold." As he settled, Goku entered the bar, having dashed upstairs to change the moment they got back. With a quick glance at Sanzo, he headed for the nearest menu, which was fine with Sanzo as long as the monkey remained quiet.

"Did you have any luck?" Hakkai asked him, sipping on the coffee Sanzo had rejected.

"No." Sanzo flicked his gaze up to the barman as he was handed a tankard of beer. "But the youkai's dead."

"Oh, so it went well, then." Hakkai watched him carefully from behind his mug.

"No, it didn't go well." Sanzo tapped out a Marlboro and slid it between his lips, then patted his robe pocket for his lighter. "But the job's done, so let's just drop it."

"Fair enough." Turning to Goku, Hakkai's tone brightened. "Are you ready to order yet, Goku?"

"Uh, yeah," said Goku, with a distinct lack of his accustomed enthusiasm. "I'll have... uh, everything on the left column." He solemnly handed over the menu, then picked up the edge of a beer mat and proceeded to fiddle with it. Sanzo was in half a mind to tell him to stop, but he didn't want to break the peace. Hell, the monkey could have the whole menu and fuck around with all the beer mats in the joint if it meant no more talk about that morning, or that idiotic pantomime in the graveyard.

Well, what was done was done; the detour was over, tomorrow they'd be on the road again, something Sanzo was grateful for, as much as the monotony of the landscape was tiring. Probably for the first time, the idea of sleeping in Hakuryuu instead of a normal bed was a welcome one. At least there would be no invading of personal space.

Sanzo inhaled a lungful. "Where's the kappa?" he asked as he blew out a train of smoke, aware in his peripheral vision of Goku being served a bowl of cashew nuts further down the bar. Hakkai glanced towards the stairs leading to the rooms, a move Sanzo was sure he tried to conceal.

"He should be down shortly." Hakkai adjusted his monocle on the bridge of his nose. "We got back about an hour ago."

There were a few ways of taking that; Sanzo decided not to dwell on it. That kappa could take his sweet time, for all Sanzo cared. He wanted a peaceful, irritant free night.

As if the Gods had it in for him, a voice drawled, "Well look at this, pretty boy's back with his monkey."

"Fuck off and die," said Sanzo, not looking around as Gojyo approached and took the seat on the other side of Hakkai.

"I missed you too," Gojyo simpered, then ordered a pint.

Taking a deep swig of his drink, Sanzo set about zoning out Gojyo's voice. As much satisfaction as it'd give him, he realised he couldn't very well open fire at the bar, at least not until he'd finished his much awaited beer.

"Hey, monkey-boy, what's up?" Sanzo found himself glancing over as Gojyo leaned towards Goku, eying his bowls as more food was set down for him. "Shit, you gonna eat all that, man?" Gojyo reached down and snagged a spring roll, quickly stuffing it into his mouth.

"Hands off, pervert!" That sounded more like the normal Goku. Sanzo wasn't sure whether to be grateful to the kappa, or not. A few of the other customers cast blatant stares in their direction, but Sanzo ignored it. If Goku and Gojyo wanted to make a ridiculous spectacle of themselves, that was their business.

Downing the dregs in his tankard, Sanzo stubbed out his cigarette butt and turned on his stool.

"Are you off already?" Hakkai asked.

Getting to his feet, Sanzo didn't turn. He headed for the stairs. "Yeah. Unless Gyumaoh himself waltzes in here, I don't want to be disturbed. If anyone wakes me, they will die."

Sanzo ascended the stairs with the sound of Hakkai's not-quite-nervous laughter and Gojyo's under-the-breath grumbling following him.

Goku, for his part, was silent.

* * *

A repeating pattern in Sanzo's life seemed to be his inability to enjoy an unhindered peace and quiet. It hadn't quite been two hours before he heard three sets of footsteps tramping up the stairs, along with three voices chatting companionably. The door to the room Hakkai and Gojyo were sharing opened with a creak, some hushed 'goodnights' were exchanged, then it closed again.

Only one set of footsteps were left now, the tread light and agile, heading toward Sanzo's door. There was a pause too long to be normal or comfortable, as if Goku was in two minds about entering. Good, that ensured he'd taken Sanzo's warning seriously at the bar. Maybe, if Sanzo was lucky, he would even keep to himself.

The room was rustic with a simple fireplace cut out of the wall, but a lack of burnable wood in the brass bucket beside the hearth. When he'd entered the chilly room, Sanzo had considered battering the only chair – it looked like it'd collapse if anyone sat on it – but in the end decided it was too much effort to start a fire. Wrapping his robes around himself, he'd settled on the bed next to the window to read his paper, ignoring the empty space beside him where Goku had slept the previous night.

Where Goku would be sleeping tonight, as well.

The door swung open quickly, as if Goku had mentally and physically steeled himself before taking the plunge, fueled by his innate brash courage.

"Hey," was all he said. Sanzo flicked his gaze up in acknowledgment, noting the smile that wasn't entirely happy but attempting to be. Candles wavered in the wall lamps from an outside draft, making the room leap into animation, before Goku secured the door and the flames grew quiescent once again.

Although Sanzo had already read his paper all the way through, he re-scanned the third page, remaining half-aware of Goku's movements, his sounds, all the familiar nuances that somehow seemed obligatory that night. A buckle was unlatched and a zip drawn down, but not casually. Cotton swished and crumpled onto bare floorboards. Socked feet padded around, then stopped, then padded some more. Something was settled on the dresser across the room. Goku sniffed.

"We're starting out early tomorrow," Sanzo said, not looking up from the page. "Get some rest."

For once, there was nothing customarily boisterous about Goku, but his presence and the odd sense of nervous anticipation Sanzo detected across the room was eating away at Sanzo's concentration. It pissed him off that he was so easily distracted lately. It didn't make sense.

"Uh, yeah, I was gonna just go to bed. D'ya want me to blow out the lamps?"

Was there any point trying to read? Sanzo supposed not – it was late, he was tired and not a little irritable. Unconsciousness was a far more palatable prospect than staying awake and acutely aware of every fucking move the monkey made.

"Yeah." Refolding his paper, Sanzo tossed it off the end of the bed, the pages hushing as they sprawled over the boards before settling. Leaving his robes tied, Sanzo slid himself beneath the sheets, turning to face the window, his back to the room – and to Goku.

One by one, the lamps were blown out. When the shadows settled in a blanket of black, Sanzo only had sounds to read. Goku must have taken off his socks, his feet making a slightly different sound as he neared the bed. The thick covers were tugged, lifted; the mattress dipped, springs moaning softly.

Although Goku settled, blowing out a long sigh, he was far from ready for sleep – Sanzo could almost feel the press of energy against his back, could almost believe the tenseness radiating from Goku was the cause for the hairs at the back of his neck to prickle. He closed his eyes. Counted to ten. Then twenty. Thirty. Fort–

"Sanzo?"

Predictable as ever. "What?"

"You seem really tense. Are you okay?"

"Yes. Go to sleep."

The springs chattered again in answer to Goku's restlessness. When he blew out another sigh, Sanzo felt it disturbing his hair at the back, just above his collar. "See, I don't think you're okay. I can tell."

"What do you want, a certificate for your observational skills?"

"Don't be like that." There was some pleading, a hint of defiance. "I'm tryin' not to think about stuff, but when you're lyin' there all pent up it's really difficult."

"I'm not pent up. I'm fed up. Fed up of your incessant talking, your inability to let anything lie." Sanzo felt like they were going in circles. "I know what you're doing, monkey."

"Oh, and what am I s'posed to be doin'?" Goku challenged, affronted and, by the sound of it, moving further and further from sleep by the second. Damnit. "So sorry for wantin' you to be all right."

That was a lie. This wasn't about whether Sanzo was all right or able to sleep. Goku wasn't very good at hiding what he truly desired.

"Bullshit. You want something from me – don't try to deny it. Ever since you brought up this morning you've been nipping at this." Sanzo bit off his words, aware his voice was rising. The last thing he wanted was for his words to carry along the hall where Hakkai and Gojyo could hear. Turning onto his back and lowering his tone, he continued. "You want to fool around with someone? Well let me tell you – you're barking up the wrong tree. Go find some idiotic girl or boy to get off with."

The words lingered above the bed, strangely thick and altogether irrevocable. They seemed to taunt Sanzo, remind him there was no taking them back. He'd thought if Goku found someone else to play with it would put an end to this confusion, but it was the suggestion itself that seemed idiotic now. Stranger still was the silence that followed, stretching on and on until Sanzo wondered if the monkey had finally put his stupid notions out of head – once and for all – and gone to sleep. But deep down he knew that wasn't the case. Goku's breathing was far from steady.

"Why d'you have to be such a bastard."

The pseudo-question struck suddenly and Sanzo almost hit him in defense. It wasn't like when the kappa goaded him – Goku was genuinely angry, genuinely hurt. Something stopped Sanzo from moving, but he grit his teeth.

"How d'you know what I want if you don't even know what you want?" Goku went on.

"I know exactly what I want, monkey – I've told you time and fucking time again. When are you going to get it into your thick skull that I just want to get this mission done?" Sanzo was not only aware of Goku's proximity and the heat of his body, but also of the sutra rolled in his own robe pocket. "It might seem like a joyride to you and the others, but I don't appreciate complications, these fucking tedious detours, or all these distractions."

"You know what I think?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

Goku ignored him. "I think you're scared you're gonna like it and want it. I think you're afraid you're gonna want me if you touch me." A pause. "I mean, any other touches apart from whacks with your harisen." Another sigh. "But wanting something and needing something are different from each other. I know you hate needing, but I think it's okay to want."

This all sounded frighteningly like something Hakkai would argue. "Who told you that?"

Another, much wider pause. "Hakkai."

"Fuck's sake..."

Goku shuffled closer, until Sanzo could feel against his arm the brief brush of Goku's elbow. "I want you." It was soft, breathed close to Sanzo's ear, but also rough. Goku's breath smelled tasty like bean pies and cashew nuts and ginger ale, reminding Sanzo he hadn't eaten since lunch. "Do you want me? Honestly, Sanzo, do you want me at all?"

"No."

"Are you lying?"

"No."

"I think you are." If Sanzo wasn't mistaken, there was the ghost of a smile in Goku's voice. At this point, Sanzo was too tired to get angry about it. The next thing he knew, Goku had settled his hand against Sanzo's hip, just a light touch on the ridge. Sanzo froze. "I'm s'posed to like girls," Goku murmured, part wondering observation, part defeat.

I'm not supposed to like anyone, Sanzo thought, then wondered where that had come from. There was too much to read between that line. Sanzo ignored Goku's comment, but he should've known that wouldn't be the end of it.

"I tried to like 'em. You know, look at 'em and talk to 'em, but... it's not the same as when I'm near you."

"It's because you grew up around me, that's all." Sanzo realised he was grasping at straws now. "You've known nothing else."

"Maybe. But I think that's 'cause I always only wanted you, ever since the start." Goku moved his hand, sliding it just a fraction over Sanzo's hip, running the tips of his fingers over the rise of bone. Sanzo closed his eyes, willed Goku to stop. If he could get himself moving, he could push Goku away. If he could get himself moving. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Stop saying things like that."

"When you haven't killed me yet? No way!" Goku rested his head against Sanzo's shoulder, inhaled. "If two people want each other, I think it's okay. That won't slow down a mission, not if they're honest with themselves. And each other."

When Sanzo closed his eyes spirals of movement whirled behind his eyelids. Lower down, his stomach muscles tensed and flexed as Goku let his fingers wander a little further around, sliding just above Sanzo's abdomen. The bed seemed too small. His clothes felt claustrophobic, too tight all of a sudden.

Things were getting out of hand. Sanzo knew he had more control than this, it was just a question of locating it. "Goku," he warned.

"Tell me you don't want me back. If you really mean it, I'll... I'll just have to deal with that."

The sensation taking place in his gut, and lower in his groin, was not dissimilar to the one he'd woken to that morning, when Goku had been–

When Goku had been pressed against him.

"I..." he managed to get out, but the rest didn't come – he wasn't sure what came next. His body was in contradiction to his better judgement. Sanzo cleared his throat. "Goku," he finally added, not the closing statement he'd been groping for.

Pushing himself up onto his elbow, Goku leaned over him. Although it was dark, Sanzo could see the outline of Goku's head and shoulders, close, very close.

"Don't," Sanzo said.

"Then stop me," Goku replied, leaning down. Sanzo's mind screamed to push him off, kick him out of bed, out of the room, out of the whole fucking inn. At the first press of Goku's mouth, at the corner of Sanzo's lips, Sanzo's thoughts careened away from him, leaving him with nothing but the sense that Goku's lips were rough and curious, that he smelled of the food he'd eaten earlier and beneath that of the outdoors, of warm rain on cold rocks, giving off a steamy, unnameable energy.

"Wow," Goku whispered when he broke away, but before Sanzo could say anything, Goku came back for more, effectively cutting off his "What the hell do you think you're playing at?"

The next kiss felt like a more purposeful exploration, Goku's weight shifting a little, then settling more firmly at Sanzo's side, his chest half over Sanzo's chest. Bracing his arms at either side of Sanzo's shoulders, Goku tilted his face and swiped his tongue in a wet line over Sanzo's mouth, then dipped it inside, just quickly, experimentally, licking Sanzo's teeth.

Until that point, Sanzo had lain still, but now he reached up and curled his fists around Goku's arms, to tear him off, to squeeze him hard until it hurt – anything to fight the surge of arousal that shook through him.

Goku put his fingers at Sanzo's robe sash and tugged it free, severing contact long enough to moan, "I wanna feel you," before dipping his head down once again, sucking the breath out of Sanzo's lungs with a well-aimed bite to his lower lip.

All Sanzo's instincts urged him to flip Goku over and push against him until he came, until he could find the release of pressure, sate his now rigid cock. When Goku slipped his fingers into Sanzo's robe, dusting the rough pads over his stomach where his leathers had ridden up, Sanzo hissed out a curse, his voice sounding so unlike him in the quiet.

Goku moaned and licked his throat, then bit down. Sanzo should've known he'd be just as orally fixated in this as he was in everything else. Limbs finally kicking into action, Sanzo growled, launching himself up and pushing Goku down against the bed. Somehow, this didn't go quite as Sanzo had intended – immediately, Goku wrapped his legs around the backs of Sanzo's thighs, clamping him down, panting against his mouth.

"Please..."

Goku's erect cock pushed at Sanzo's hip, unforgiving and solid and insanely hot. There was a struggle; Sanzo found his arms trapped in his sleeves, then Goku was frantically yanking at his robes, at the leather beneath. Sanzo's zip was torn down, his belt discarded roughly. Skin blended into clothes and back into skin – there was no way of knowing where one ended and the other began. Linen twisted around and between them, making it difficult to move, but somehow Goku manoeuvred his hand down into the parted denim of Sanzo's jeans.

"Fuck, fuck–"

Goku arched up at the same moment he wrapped his palm around Sanzo's damp cock. "Ungh, I want you so much – I wanna taste you."

Sanzo couldn't breathe, let alone answer. With his hands fisted in the sheets, he lost the battle not to buck into the touch, driving himself into the rough circle of Goku's fingers. Goku's moan was unsteady, jolted from deep in his chest as he worked his hips, thrusting fitfully against Sanzo.

Fire rolled through Sanzo, burning him up on the inside, setting his mind spinning and body screaming. He thought he was choking as the heat roiled all the way through him and out, surging in sweep after sweep of blissful, violent wracks and hot shudders. He came, striping lines over Goku's fingers, Goku's stomach, his own skin. Moments later he became aware that Goku had released him, had lifted his hand and was now sucking come from his skin. Hips still rolling in firm, uncoordinated circles, a series of low groans escaped Goku, sounding like each was hooked from deep within – like he was in pain, but Sanzo knew he wasn't.

With his orgasm still alight in his nerves, he settled his head on the pillow beside Goku, and pulled him hard against him. The gasp Goku let out was soon swallowed by a small cry as Sanzo clutched Goku's hip and let him frot madly, let Goku rub himself to completion. A series of hot bursts, dashing Sanzo's body and spreading slick and rich between them, and Goku finally slowed his rhythm, shuddering to stillness.

"You taste amazing," Goku whispered, sounding husky, breathless, almost disbelieving.

"Just... shut up." Now the heat of release had faded, Sanzo felt reality setting in, bearing down in its unavoidable way. He was well aware he'd surrendered, given in to baser instincts. Everything had just changed. Sanzo had embraced a fall he'd once vowed never to take, at least, not while on the mission. But as he lay there, eyes shut tightly, he started to realise he had lost no time, or motivation, or drive to complete the task and retrieve his master's sutra.

He had lost nothing but a notion people put so much stock into.

Damn the monkey for being right. Sanzo turned his head, scowling at Goku in the darkness, but he felt no anger, just a familiar exasperation and a lightness in his bones from his earlier exertion.

Tilting his face up, Goku brushed his lips over Sanzo's cheek, sighing, then pulling back again. "I feel so good, like I could fly, or sleep for days."

"Good idea," said Sanzo, his own body feeling more relaxed than it had in weeks. He supposed he had Goku to thank for that. "Go to sleep."

Letting out a soft snort, Goku fidgeted, arranging himself into a settled position beside Sanzo, just close enough that they were still touching, but thankfully not too close that Sanzo felt smothered.

"Don't be pissed off about this tomorrow." Goku spoke lightly so that Sanzo had to re-run the words in his head to make sure he'd heard right.

"Hush," he replied, lazily shifting his hand down around Goku's waist to settle at the small of his back, letting it linger there a few moments, before drawing back his arm. The action tugged another, much more heartfelt sigh from the monkey.

Sanzo was still tangled in his semi-discarded robes, the wetness on his abdomen turning rapidly sticky, his hairline damp with sweat, but he found he could not muster the will to rise and wash, or even change.

Tomorrow. He would deal with all this shit tomorrow. For now, he closed his eyes and tried not to dwell on their sex, instead focusing on the natural sounds of the inn, as well as Goku's steady breathing beside him.

* * *

It was happening all over again, only this time Sanzo didn't toss Goku out of bed, or head for the bathroom and deny it had taken place.

He remained very still in bed, while tendrils of sensation curled around his innards, wound around his cock, slowly raising him to a plateau of inescapable arousal. As far as Sanzo could tell, Goku was awake – he could feel Goku breathing unsteadily – but he had yet to speak or move.

A dangerous moment passed during which they both waited, on edge, for the other.

Finally, the tension peaked to breaking point; at the same time Goku nudged his arse back against Sanzo's groin, Sanzo wrapped his hand around Goku's hip and pulled him in hard. Two groans were muffled by the pillows, one an octave higher than the other.

"Yes," Goku gasped, to which Sanzo could find no returning negative.

It was then that he realised, with defeat, that the answer had invariably been yes.

~Fin~