At first, Goku assumed the spattering of lights in the cool fall of dusk was a mirage. It wouldn't be the first one he'd seen. No way could such a big, bright, lively-looking town be real - not this far out in the middle of nowhere, after countless days seeing nothing but dilapidated trees interspersing the parched horizon.

Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, Goku moved closer to the front of Jeep, resting against the back of Sanzo's seat and peering up over the windscreen to double-check that yes, the town was there, shining prettily beneath the blanket of late evening. It was indeed real, and better yet - they were rapidly approaching it.

"Wow, that place looks awesome!" With a grin, Goku looked down at the top of Sanzo's head, the monk's fine blond hair whipping under the assault of the wind. It somehow seemed to glow even in the faded light and a few of the longer strands brushed Goku's wrists as he clutched the back of Sanzo's seat. A shiver roamed his spine and his grin widened.

"I bet they have loads of great restaurants there," he added. "Sanzo? Can we go get food first?" It'd been so long since they'd stopped for a decent meal, Goku could hardly recall the taste of sweet bean sauce or minced beef.

"I second the monkey's motion," Gojyo called from behind him. Goku heard the snick of his lighter, then the exhale of breath. "As long as it's a pub restaurant."

"Che, you're both so predictable," muttered Sanzo, just audible below the rush of the wind, although to Goku's joy it didn't sound like Sanzo was saying no.

"You like a drink with your meals just as much as Gojyo does," Hakkai pointed out, effortlessly steering Jeep around a fallen branch in the road.

"I do," agreed Sanzo, taking his lighter out of his robe pocket and giving it a shake. "I'm just not so vocal about it all the damn time."

"Hey, c'mon man, anyone who's been stuck in a freaking car for as long as we have would need things to look forward to," Gojyo put in. He ignored Jeep's displeased "Kyuu~!!" and carried on. "Incentive, like."

"Yeah, agreed!" Goku nodded heartily as he moved back over to the bench Gojyo was occupying in the back. "And what's better than a four course meal in a really posh place!"

"Or a nice long relaxing soak at an onsen," Hakkai added.

Sanzo attempted to light a cigarette and said nothing, which Goku took as one of his typical stoic agreements. Goku wasn't really surprised; the journey was getting increasingly arduous the closer they got to their destination, the times they could fully relax more sparse than Goku liked to ponder. They had to take what they could get at this point.

Attacks were more frequent now, not that Goku minded them - he enjoyed the adrenaline rush and the thrill of the fight, having the opportunity to let off some steam instead of simply sitting in Jeep all day long. It didn't help that the times he sat in Jeep were usually taken up with staring at the back of Sanzo's head, or fixating on the pale length of his neck semi-encased in black leather, or the sinewy curve of his shoulders. Goku often pondered what was on Sanzo's mind, wondering if there was anything he could do to make Sanzo feel good, among other, naughtier things involving Sanzo that Goku tried not to entertain.

The thing was, those thoughts just seemed to appear from nowhere, ambushing him at any given moment. Goku wasn't exactly experienced - in many things - but over the months he'd come to realise that the reaction he sometimes got when Sanzo looked at him was the sort of reaction he should be feeling when girls looked at him.

The thing was, Goku only had Gojyo for comparison, so he really wasn't sure about any of it. He wasn't that naïve, though; he knew sometimes guys liked other guys, but he also knew it wasn't widely accepted. Goku figured as long as people were happy and not hurting anyone else, it shouldn't matter.

The world was a strange place at times, he surmised.

Before Goku could sink into contemplation about how normal or abnormal he was, or what painful things Sanzo would no doubt do if he ever found out about the obscene thoughts Goku often had about him, Hakkai dropped Jeep into third gear, the car lurching over the rough terrain and jolting Goku out of his thoughts.

The town was much closer now, much clearer from their vantage point on the surrounding hilltop, made up of a network of paved streets illuminated by outside hanging lamps, close-knit bundles of rooftops, and at the centre a large structure like a town hall with a tall clock tower. The many lit buildings made it look like a nest of glow worms to Goku.

Elated by the sight and by the promise of a hearty meal, his grin didn't slip once the rest of the way.

* * *

"Shiiiit, I think I'm dying." Goku clutched his stomach, part of him wanting to burp and the other part not daring from fear of losing most of the meal he'd just consumed. Immediately regretting his words when Sanzo cast him a long-suffering, vaguely homicidal look, Goku let out a sigh, the rest of his complaints drying up in his mouth. Sanzo was always telling him to slow down when eating or not to go over-board, but hell it was hard knowing when he was full! Even when he'd eaten too much he still felt the ache, a roiling parasite he could not escape, remove, or otherwise kill; not as violent as when hungry, but still persistently there.

"Soon you'll be immersed in water, Goku," Hakkai helpfully provided, tempering some of the tense atmosphere radiating from Sanzo by gesturing them up a set of wooden steps. "That should ease up some of the pressure on your stomach."

"If it doesn't," Gojyo added, clapping a firm hand on Goku's back, "I'll hold you under for a few minutes. That'll stop your problems in no time."

"Argh, don't do that, you stupid kappa! I'll puke." Goku struggled out from under Gojyo's hand, the blow turning his already precarious stomach. "An' I'll make sure it's all over you."

"Just you try it, small fry." Gojyo smirked, flicking at Goku's ear. "I'll drown your midget ass."

Sliding aside a bamboo screen door, Hakkai lead them into the private onsen suite they'd rented. The small army of kappa-centric return insults Goku had stored up over the years died on his lips. "Oh wow, look at this place!"

"Nice," agreed Gojyo beside him. "Can't wait to get all this fucking mud and grit from the road off me."

"Mm, it's amazing the places grit can get wedged," said Hakkai. "And very uncomfortable at times." From the small smile and tone of his voice, Goku had the impression Hakkai was teasing, but for what purpose he wasn't sure.

"Oh really?" Gojyo said mock-airily. "What places would those be, man?"

"If you go any further with this conversation, I'm leaving," Sanzo warned, and it finally clicked with Goku why Hakkai and Gojyo were making jokes. He knew how much the others liked to wind Sanzo up, though they had different strategies. Hakkai's was subtle - a tone he used, light with a hint of mirth. Gojyo tended to push and push, snipping at Sanzo until he broke and the harisen - or his Smith and Wesson, in one or two instances - appeared.

It was much harder for Goku, who truly didn't try to wind Sanzo up, but somehow managed to anyway.

The suite was more spacious inside than it appeared outside, with a wide open, highly polished boarded floor that shone under the glow of the lamps dotted along the walls. Goku thought it looked so clean he could eat his food off it, not that he was going to try - Sanzo would probably whack him with his paper fan for his manners or some shit like that. Beside the door a row of soft white slippers had been laid out, and on pegs to one side a selection of fluffy towels and bathrobes were lined up, in a variety of sizes and lengths.

Immediately, Goku's nose picked up an array of tantalizing aromas - sweet bath cordials, musky water salts, and underlying that the natural scent of the many tall dogwoods that had been potted and set up around the changing room.

Two covered doorways were set directly across from the entrance, the canvas screens embroidered with rich silk in all kinds of awesome colours and shapes, making swirling murals that Goku thought he could stare at forever and still find new things within.

"This is…" he began, then trailed off, momentarily lost for words. Reaching out, Goku snagged a towel from the nearest peg.

"Incredible," Hakkai finished for him, tugging at the fastenings on his tunic.

Sanzo didn't say anything, but over the years Goku had come to notice the subtle signs that indicated he was impressed with something. A cool purple gaze passed slowly over the room and Sanzo inhaled a breath much deeper than usual. Goku smiled faintly, watching Sanzo's almost imperceptible appreciation. After all, it'd been forever since they'd got to have a really great meal and a long soak - Goku wouldn't be surprised if Sanzo outright smiled.

Hah, fat chance.

He was still idly staring when Sanzo suddenly turned a sharp eye on him. Goku started, caught out, quickly spluttering, "I'm gonna go see what's through that door." Taking his towel with him, Goku quickly padded across the floorboards towards the right-hand screen. Pulling it back a little way, he poked his head through the gap, sniffing the air inside. The scents were much richer beyond the screen and the atmosphere was slightly hazy from the steam the hot springs emitted.

Goku pushed into the room and slipped off his cloak, letting it fall to the floor, not really caring if it got even more creased than it already was. The large, steaming pool set across from him looked too damn inviting, as did the shelves on the back wall, each of which was stacked from side to side and top to bottom with corked bottles and carafes full of gels and balms and shampoos.

Goku made fast work of his shirt, slinging it off to one side as he stepped close to the pool, planning to already be submerged by the time one of the others got there. He unlocked his belt buckle and then popped open the top button of his faded denims, wriggling slightly on the spot so they fell from his hips and landed in a heap at his ankles. Stepping out, Goku basked in the natural heat of the steam rolling over him, caressing him like a breath and moistening his naked skin.

The sensation was divine and he paused before getting in the water, stretching his arms up over his head as high as he could reach. Goku clenched his fists and then tensed his biceps, followed by his shoulders. Turning on the spot, he arched his back a little and flexed his spine, then rolled his head on his shoulders to work out the knots that had formed around his neck, most of which he hadn't even been aware of until now.

Behind him, the steady roll of steam off the water doused his back. The muscles beneath his skin twitched as he stretched himself thoroughly, preparing for total relaxation. Some of Goku's earlier frustration with the tedium of the journey still pulsed vaguely inside, in rhythm with his ever-present hunger. He was buzzing, but it was an energy he could easily hone into a washing ritual. Goku had become masterful at focusing his alertness and heightened senses to whatever task he was performing, even if it wasn't a strenuous one.

When Sanzo sometimes told him to wind down at the end of the day, little did he know Goku usually was wound down, at least by his own standards.

Of course, Goku could think of a few ways of winding down that involved Sanzo, though the last thing he wanted was a bullet hole in the head, which he'd no doubt receive if he ever suggested any of them to Sanzo.

Hah! Although Goku inwardly snorted at the very thought, somewhere deep inside his gut there was a melancholy twist. He knew on a fundamental level that Sanzo was off-limits in that regard, that nothing could ever happen between them, even if Sanzo did see him that way. Which, Goku was also certain, Sanzo didn't.

Bending double, Goku pushed those thoughts aside and pointed his fingertips to his bare toes, working on the muscles at the backs of his thighs and in his calves. The temperature in the room had set his skin damp with a mixture of fresh sweat and the natural humidity of the onsen.

Man, it was fucking awesome!

Until he screen door swished softly. Goku froze in place.

"Oh, hey, this one's much nicer." Gojyo's voice reverberated slightly off the walls. "Trust the monkey to sniff out the one with the sweetest bath products."

Realising what he must look like - bent over, stark naked, right in view of the others - Goku swallowed hard. He wasn't prudish, per se, but still - he usually kept at least his undershorts on when swimming in streams or ponds, particularly when the others were close by. The last time he'd been fully naked around any of them was back at the temple in Chang'an, when Sanzo would reluctantly bathe him in the early days, before he got frustrated with the splashing and threw a towel at Goku, telling him if he could make that much noise and mess at bath time he was damn well old enough to do it himself.

It wasn't even that Goku thought the others would rib him about his height or the slighter size of his limbs. He was self-aware enough to know he was fast and strong, so he didn't give a shit about that. The reason he avoided walking around in the nude nowadays was because of-

"Oy, Goku, what the hell are you doing?"

Sanzo.

"Uh, nothin'." Goku realised he'd have to straighten up soon, or his limbs were going to seize up and he'd get stuck in that stupid position. The last thing he wanted was for the others to go on without him and leave him there.

But damnit, Sanzo's voice just… did something to him. Goku didn't know why; Sanzo had spoken to him countless times over the years, in a variety of different ways - yelling, cursing, admonishing, the one or two sort-of-compliments (or at least, that's how Goku had taken them), too.

Lately, though, something had changed, around the time he'd started having the hot, sweaty dreams about Sanzo. The ones that usually resulted in Goku waking with come splashed across his belly, or streaking his fingers. Goku knew something had to give; the lurking frustration he felt made him think of a spring, sturdy and wound up tight whenever Sanzo was near.

Or when Sanzo was looking at him.

Or when Sanzo spoke to him in that lazy, low drawl of his - the one that sent unbidden shivers through Goku, all the way from the top of his spine and down to somewhere he'd rather not think too closely about right then, thanks, or he feared his body would pique an interest.

"You look ridiculous." Sanzo sounded much closer now. Three sets of footsteps padded softly over the boards.

Swallowing his reservations, Goku knew there was choice but to straighten up, hold his head high, and offer them a smile. "Just stretching out some of my tension," he explained, his face warming considerably, and not from the steam.

Then, something really weird happened.

Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo all stopped dead in their tracks.

"What is it?" asked Goku, suddenly on guard. "You sensing youkai or somethin'?" That would be just their luck, too. Whenever it looked like they might get one day free from attack, some piss-weak lackey always showed up - sometimes alone, or sometimes with about twenty friends.

Well, Goku supposed it meant he got to kick a lot of ass, but in this instance ass-kicking couldn't be further from his mind.

Fully alert, Goku reached out with all his senses, trying to pick up ill intent. However, he couldn't find any hostility, no unusual smells or sounds. Even Nyoi-bou remained dormant on the fringes of his consciousness. But Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo were still frozen in place, like pale statues carved right out of the floor. Goku looked from one to the other, frowning deeply, a little unnerved by their behaviour.

"Uh, guys?" he ventured. "Did somethin' just happen and I missed it?" Much to Goku's annoyance, it wouldn't be the first time.

"Je-jeez," stammered Gojyo, in a tone weaker than Goku had ever heard from him. Checking over his shoulder, Goku's confusion deepened when he could find nothing odd or out of order, not as far as he could tell. But if he wasn't mistaken, Gojyo sounded almost… breathless? Awestruck? Whatever it was, Goku didn't like not knowing what it was about.

When he turned his questioning frown at Gojyo, it quickly struck Goku that Gojyo wasn't meeting his eyes.

In fact, Gojyo wasn't meeting his face at all.

It felt like all the colour was draining from him, a cold flush passing through his system as Goku noted exactly where Gojyo was staring. Choking out a shocked "What?!" Goku silently appealed to Hakkai for help. Surely Hakkai would say something, because otherwise Goku was going to die on the spot, or kick Gojyo in the head for being a perverted bastard!

But Hakkai, too, was quite wide-eyed, his gaze also focused on the same spot Gojyo's was. Quick as lightning, Goku glance down at himself, terrified his body was doing things he wasn't aware of. Though nothing seemed untoward, apart from the fact that he was bollock-naked and standing in front of a bunch of guys who were decidedly taller than him.

"My," muttered Hakkai, and left it at that, which was really freaking unhelpful!

"Whooey, I had no idea." Gojyo was still pointedly gazing at Goku's groin, making no secret of it. "Fuck, man… I. Holy shit. I thought that was fucking Nyoi-bou or something when he first stood up."

"Gojyo, that's really unnecessary," chided Hakkai, which didn't make any sense since his fixation on Goku's groin was still steadfast, too.

Goku thought he must be going insane, because otherwise he really was standing there with Gojyo and Hakkai staring at his dick while having a conversation at the same time, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Will someone tell me what this is about?!" he shouted, now burning with a blush he was sure they could see darkening his skin. Goku was starting to get a bit dizzy from the heat in the air. Combined with the embarrassment, worry, and the million other thoughts spiralling around his head, he was going to fall back into the pool and drown at this rate.

Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing…

"O-oh, Goku, our apologies." Hakkai seemed to snap out of his stupor and finally looked up at him. It was a short-lived comfort, though; not even two seconds later Hakkai's gaze went wandering down again. Goku tensed up, mortified. "It's just - you see." Hakkai paused, unusually awkward. Goku rarely saw him this dumbstruck.

"What he's trying to say, man, is that you're awful good at keeping secrets." Gojyo blew out a breath, his tone now vaguely put-out. Goku wondered what the hell was wrong with him - with… with that area of him. He didn't think it was abnormal, but then it wasn't like he'd seen many to compare with.

There was that one time back at Chang'an, when he'd been living in Keiun with Sanzo. Out of boredom, he'd wandered into one of the bathing rooms late one night to find someone already in there washing - one of the young monks he'd seen around the temple. Goku had never told Sanzo about it, but the shame had burned within him for days afterwards - shame at how he couldn't stop thinking about it, about all that forbidden skin and the guy's hard dick, flushed red and inviting.

Gah! Not a good time to be thinking about that.

"What do ya mean, 'secrets'?" he demanded anxiously. "What's wrong with me?!"

"Ah, nothing's wrong, Goku." Although he was obviously trying to reassure, Hakkai's voice was also a little strained, like he was treading with great care. Goku watched Hakkai glance over at Sanzo quickly, as if asking for his backup, but then the next really weird thing happened. Hakkai did a double-take.

Goku knew the worst thing in the universe to do right then was look at Sanzo, but he couldn't stop himself from risking a peek.

Oh shit.

Sanzo was either close to murder, or passing out. Goku could recall a vaguely similar look only a handful of times in the past, usually after really big fights in which Sanzo sustained a lot of injuries, or used his Makai Tenjou too much.

Now, though, Goku couldn't gauge exactly what kind of expression was settled on Sanzo's pale, angular face. It wasn't good, as far as he could tell - confusion, definitely, and something akin to shock. There was also discomfort, though what was causing Sanzo to feel that way remained to be seen.

The thing that shook Goku the most, though, was how Sanzo was also looking directly and unguardedly at his groin.

If the onsen floor was ever to open up and consume him whole, now was the time. But it didn't, much to Goku's disappointment. He could only stand there in a blind, silent panic, Sanzo's fierce purple eyes on him - on his cock, for fuck's sake! - Sanzo's mouth set in a pinched line, his nostrils flared the barest fraction, his body quite rigid, slightly flushed too from the heat. Goku stopped himself from looking lower than Sanzo's chest, aware in his peripheral vision of the white towel wrapped snug and low on Sanzo's narrow hips.

In Goku's current situation, staring at Sanzo's body would be the death of him.

"Uh…" Goku heard Gojyo say, but he didn't take his eyes off Sanzo, worried Sanzo would snap and do something harmful. He sure looked like he was wound up to breaking point.

"Sanzo, Goku, why don't Gojyo and I head into the next room." Hakkai took a step back, turning in Gojyo's direction. "Come on, Gojyo."

"Hah, no way, I've been waiting for that pissy bastard to finally pull the fan out of his ass and get with the program." Gojyo sounded smug. "You know this has been on the cards. They're both so fucking clueless."

Only now did Sanzo turn away from Goku, raising the deadliest stare Goku had ever seen and aiming it at Gojyo.

"Now, Gojyo." This time, Hakkai reached out and wrapped a firm hand around Gojyo's forearm, tugging him across the floorboards towards the door. "We'll just leave you two to it, then," he added.

The door slid open and Goku heard feet stumbling out into the changing room, followed by Gojyo grumbling under his breath, then another swish of material as the screen was closed.

Closing him in there with Sanzo.

Alone.

Naked.

Well, he was naked, and Sanzo was mostly naked. Way too naked for Goku to be comfortable, that was for sure.

Looking down at the floor, skin tingling with embarrassment and a little fear, Goku bit his lower lip, then released it.

"Um, Sanzo? Whatever I've done to piss you off this time, I'm really, really sorry. I dunno…" Curling his arms around his body self-consciously, Goku ached to run from the room, but he found himself completely rooted to the spot, pinned by Sanzo's presence and the thick silence around them. "I just dunno what I did, but I'm-"

"Shut up." It was spoken under the breath, but the weight of Sanzo's words was so intentional Goku knew he wouldn't be able to speak right then even if he tried.

Sanzo's tread was light and even as he neared heartbeat by heartbeat. Goku closed his eyes.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still. It was the most surreal thing Goku had ever experienced, Sanzo's aura richer and stronger and more intense than ever before, something thick and unspoken, or undone in the air that he just couldn't put his finger on. The tension radiating from Sanzo was almost palpable. Goku's skin rose in goosebumps and his breath hitched; lower down, a warmth was sinuously spreading out through his stomach and abdomen.

He was losing control.

Sanzo probably had no freaking idea what this silent scrutiny was doing to him! Breath held, Goku waited, not sure what to expect. Even the harisen wasn't out of the question, since Sanzo seemed to be able to stash it anywhere and always have it on hand. Part of Goku wished for the firm crack of rough paper over his skull - at least then he'd know where he stood. But it didn't come.

"Please tell me what's up, Sanzo. Why were Hakkai and Gojyo acting so weird? Why are ya looking at me like you wanna kill me?" Risking everything, Goku dared to glance up then, imploring Sanzo desperately for the answer, hoping he could fix whatever was wrong before the situation got even worse.

Oh, fuck.

Sanzo was looking at him the same way as before, but only now did it start to dawn on Goku what the expression meant, that there was a description for the emotions dancing over Sanzo's face. Swallowing thickly, Goku willed himself not to believe it, because it was impossible. Yet, his pulse raced even faster, thudding in his body like a wild tribal drum beat. He tried not to think about the heat building at his groin, the smouldering swell; tried to will Sanzo not to look down again, because damnit to hell and back his cock was hardening, going stiff under the thrumming waves of Sanzo's incandescent aura. The proximity was dizzying, the familiar smell of him homey and smoky and exotic at the same time.

"Sanzo…" The mortification seared inside him as he watched Sanzo watching him. Goku again took in the remarkable structure of Sanzo's face, the way his mouth was parted slightly, lips moist, a very faint flush to his skin. It made Sanzo look softer, lighter somehow, like the perpetual irritation he carried around like a miniature storm cloud had temporarily dispersed.

There was a high chance Goku was wrong, but he was becoming increasingly sure what he was seeing wasn't anger.

No, it was something else. Something he never in a million years thought he'd see in Sanzo.

Sanzo raised one hand slowly towards Goku, the action seeming to happen in slow-motion, the stretch of his fingers an agonizing millennium, the very faint click of the bones in his wrist an echo that repeated over and over in Goku's head.

Goku waited for the contact, but it never came; Sanzo paused, his fingers mere centimetres from Goku's chest.

Every inch of Goku longed to arch into the touch. He dropped his gaze to Sanzo's hand, but that was a really bad idea because it lead to Sanzo's sinewy arm, which lead to his smooth torso, which lead to his taut stomach, which lead down even further - down to the firm rise of his long cock pushing up against the white material of the towel.

The noise that erupted from Goku's throat was so sudden he didn't have the chance to stifle it, his own voice sounding alien and broken in his ears. There was no way - no fucking way - Sanzo was standing in front of him, hard as a rock, reaching out to touch him, looking for all intent and purpose like he wanted Goku.

A billion voices screamed in Goku's head, a lot of them on the side of his good sense, and a lot of them telling him to run with his instincts. The last thing he expected was for them all to be unanimous, but Goku always went with his gut - it had never failed him in the past. Right then, the one thing that felt right, that seemed as natural as breathing and eating and sleeping, was to succumb to the gravitational pull of Sanzo.

Taking a ragged breath, Goku stepped forward one pace, slipping beneath the stretch of Sanzo's arm and bringing their bodies into contact.

If Goku's mind hadn't already short-circuited at the sight of Sanzo aroused, it practically turned to jelly at the feel of him. Sanzo was all hard rises of bone and taut muscle, not an ounce of flesh wasted, completely defined like a marble statue. The texture of his skin was faintly embossed with old scars that criss-crossed the surface. Soft hairs dusted a fine golden trail below his navel, leading to the heavy, erect cock that was pushing up against Goku's belly.

Sanzo hissed in an abrupt breath, his customary hard gaze clouding over instantly, like a drug was taking effect. Goku tried to swallow his groans, but a few broke forth as their bodies moved almost imperceptibly against each other, the tiniest, most wonderful sensations traversing his skin in a torrent of shivers.

"This is insane." Sanzo's tone wavered, nothing like the clipped bark Goku was used to. "Damn you, monkey."

"I know," Goku admitted, though it came out sounding a lot like a plea. Staring up at Sanzo with desperation, Goku put everything he had into resisting the urge to move - he wanted it more than anything, wanted to feel Sanzo's length moving alongside his own, wanted to thrust forward and seize the pleasure he knew was so close. He wanted Sanzo so much. "I… Sanzo... I don't know what I'm doin' any more."

Countless heartbeats later, Sanzo blinked at him, seeming to come to a decision and snapping out of his momentary haze. In a decidedly gruff voice, he said, "I do. Get in the pool."

It took a few moments for Goku to process the words. The I do was confusing as hell - if Sanzo knew what was happening, then why wasn't he helping out by explaining it! Get in the pool. What kind of reaction was that? Surely Sanzo should be pummelling him into the floor by now, yelling at him for being a pervert, for touching him inappropriately.

"Now," Sanzo prompted, firmer than before.

It took every degree of willpower Goku possessed to drag himself back, to part from Sanzo's incredible presence, to force himself from the most arousing thing he'd ever felt in his life. The thing Goku wanted more than anything in the universe.

Ashamed, he lowered his head, unable to look at Sanzo any longer. Compelling his legs to carry him over to the edge of the pool, Goku stepped down into the water and quickly sank into the warmth, not wanting to be seen, tempted to duck under and never resurface.

He was sure Sanzo would leave, maybe never speak to or look at him again. The last thing he expected was to find a pair of feet stepping down next to him, as Sanzo joined him in the pool, lowering himself more gracefully than Goku had until he was sitting beside him.

"Sanzo, I really-"

"Don't say anything."

That was fine with Goku - he didn't have a clue what to do or say to repair the situation. All he knew was that the desire to turn to Sanzo, to draw close to him again, was becoming unbearable. Surely Sanzo felt it too, otherwise what had that moment been about when Sanzo reached out for him?

Everything was so damn frustrating!

"You can stop fucking staring at me all the time," Sanzo said suddenly. "Got it?"

Goku turned to him then, his eyebrows dipping. "I haven't been-"

"Yes, you have. It pisses me off, feeling your eyes on me every damn waking moment." Sanzo was sitting with his body turned slightly in Goku's direction. It would be so easy to crawl onto his lap, to slip his legs around Sanzo's pale, muscular thighs. Man, he had to stop thinking shit like that!

"Do you have any idea how fucking distracting it is?" Sanzo added. "Just quit it."

"…okay." Things were getting weirder. One moment he and Sanzo had been standing there erect and pressed together, and now they were sitting in the pool having the most bizarre conversation, but acting like nothing had just happened.

Goku clenched his fists under the water, explanations he was sure he shouldn't voice crawling rapidly up his throat. A part of him realised things couldn't get worse. The other part figured if Sanzo was going to kill him he would have already. Steeling himself, Goku took a deep breath.

"Sanzo, before you tell me to shut up again, I wanna say that thing just now? I'm really sorry for what I did. I just didn't know what was happening, and I thought you were… and you looked so good I just… I wanted to touch you… and I… sorry," he finished lamely. Well, that didn't go as well as he'd intended.

"Fucking irritating goddamn monkey," Sanzo grated, then let out a sigh. "What do I have to do to get you out from under my skin?"

Goku blinked at him and opened his mouth to speak, but he was fucked if he knew the answer to that question, so he closed it again. Before he could locate anything else to say, Sanzo was leaning towards him. The inexplicable pull of their auras reared up stronger than ever, like twin magnets about to collide. Goku couldn't quite believe Sanzo was closing in, that Sanzo was again reaching out. This time, strong, familiar hands grazed over Goku's thighs, then slowly moved up to hold his hips in a firm, unforgiving grasp.

Holy shit.

Goku's natural instinct was to go with Sanzo's movements, syncing himself like he did when they were in battle. Reaching out, Goku curled his hands over Sanzo's shoulders, pinching Sanzo's wet flesh with his fingers otherwise he was sure he'd slide right off the face of the earth. Everything was so unreal and unbelievable, that Sanzo was willingly touching him, that Sanzo seemed to want to.

"I don't get it," he gasped. "You want me out of your skin but you're touchin' me?"

"Baka," Sanzo rumbled, tugging Goku roughly onto his lap, his rough hands skidding over Goku's hipbones, making him shiver. "It was rhetorical. Like I'd be able to get rid of you."

Goku moulded himself to Sanzo's body, more for Sanzo's comfort than his own, because the last thing he wanted to do was fuck up and be pushed away. Not now Sanzo's behaviour was making more sense, now Goku had in his palms on the one thing he'd always craved to touch intimately.

"Ohh, I… Is this real?" he asked finally, staring into Sanzo's eyes. Sanzo's face was close, the perfect paradox of beautiful and masculine, clear as ever but more defined at this angle. His nose was an artful curve that Goku wanted to trace with his fingers -or his mouth, he didn't care which - and his skin was marred only by the faintest white snicks of scars, scattered haphazardly on his jaw from a long ago brawl.

Goku could hardly breathe.

"Of course it's real," Sanzo chided, his fine blond eyebrows drawing down in exasperation. "How else am I going to get you to stop yelling in my skull?"

"Huh?" Goku didn't understand Sanzo's half finished statement. Yelling in his skull?

"You think I don't hear you all day long," Sanzo said lowly. "Nagging at the back of my head. I thought I'd cured you of that on the mountain. You never did know when to shut up."

Blinking, Goku could only gape at him.

"Now, quit your fucking yammering." With that, Sanzo drew his fingers up Goku's sides, sliding his hands around the curve of his back. Goku found himself shifting closer, startlingly aware that his cock was now pressed against Sanzo's body, that Sanzo's erection was nudging up against the underside of his balls. There were so many things going on at once, so many new things to take in, Goku didn't know what to focus on first.

Countless times over the years had Goku wished Sanzo wasn't so vague with him, that he would just tell Goku exactly what was going on in his head. Right now, though, everything was rapidly unfolding in striking clarity. There was no more mistaking the pulse of energy and thick arousal, beating in swelling waves between and around them.

Whatever Goku had been doing to annoy Sanzo he had no idea, but he recalled the reprimands he'd received on the mountain years ago, Sanzo telling him off for calling out. It was also dawning on him that the careful looks he'd been throwing Sanzo lately maybe hadn't been as guarded as he'd thought. Not that he'd been able to help them.

"I'm not gonna apologise for lookin' at ya," he whispered, his mouth so close to Sanzo's he fancied he could feel it. "An' it's not as if I can help bein' loud in your head." He remembered all the sordid fantasies he'd entertained in recent weeks. "Uh, what kind of stuff did ya hear?"

Sanzo narrowed his eyes. "Wicked temptation," he answered gruffly, and left it at that.

Before Goku could ask what he meant, he tasted smoky breath, then felt the hot press of Sanzo's mouth against his own, unmoving at first, but so real and amazing Goku was hit by a sudden jolt of vertigo. Although he was unsure who moved first, Goku wasn't about to pull away if Sanzo was allowing him a kiss. A herd of wild horses couldn't have dislodged him from Sanzo's body right then.

At the first swipe of Sanzo's tongue over his lower lip, Goku allowed some of the nervousness to seep out of him. Damnit, if this was his first kiss with Sanzo - and there was every possibility it would be his only kiss with Sanzo - then he was going to enjoy it! If there was one thing Goku was good at, it was throwing himself wholeheartedly into the things he liked. Letting his body melt against Sanzo, Goku shifted his limbs slightly to a more comfortable position, squeezing his thighs around Sanzo's hips. The movement rubbed his cock a little way up Sanzo's firm stomach and it twitched helplessly. In turn, Goku moaned, the sound fading into Sanzo's mouth like a low echo.

Maybe he was imagining things, but for a split-second Goku thought he felt Sanzo's mouth curve, just a fraction, before the kiss deepened and his universe spiralled off axis, his arousal heaving and rising in a magnificent crescendo. At this rate he was going to explode and come hard against Sanzo, make a mess all over him. Goku wasn't sure if that was what Sanzo wanted, but judging by the tightening of Sanzo's arms around his lower back and the way Sanzo's hard dick pulsed insistently beneath his weight, he was pretty sure that was the desired outcome.

Awesome.

The kiss didn't last long enough for Goku's liking; Sanzo pulled back, his breath faster now, their lips making a strange but brilliant sound as they broke apart.

Magnificent purple eyes stared at him, calculating and shining in the soft light of the room. Goku couldn't help but wriggle slightly on Sanzo's lap, biting off a groan at the sensations, his erection crying out for more. Sanzo made a small "Hn" under his breath and then cleared his throat.

"Get up on the edge of the pool," he instructed, unceremoniously pushing Goku off him. Goku didn't know whether that meant Sanzo wanted to continue in a different position, or whether he'd had enough, or whether it wasn't good for him. He worried it was the latter two, but he didn't have breath enough to ask. Sliding off Sanzo's thighs, Goku moved to the edge of the pool, hoisting himself up onto the rim and sitting facing Sanzo.

He watched avidly as Sanzo moved through the water to join him, slowly and effortlessly like he'd been born from it. Settling himself between Goku's knees, Sanzo offered him an unreadable look, before he broke the heated lock of their eyes, his gaze wandering down Goku's neck, to his chest. A series of shivers followed every point Sanzo's stare travelled, his nipples hardening under the silent scrutiny. Goku had a feeling he knew where Sanzo was headed with this, the very thought of it setting off a mixture of want and self-consciousness in him.

As expected, Sanzo ceased his visual assessment at Goku's groin, his focus drawing to Goku's fully erect shaft that was standing flushed dark and high out of the curls at the base.

"Gnyah, Sanzo, don't look at me like that!" Goku could almost feel the caress of Sanzo's eyes, making him harder than he'd ever been in his life. What he'd assumed to be anger before was crystal clear want now. Goku realised he should've figured it sooner, only, it wasn't like he'd imagined Sanzo could ever want him. Goku suddenly remembered how the others had reacted to him earlier. Although he still wasn't sure what the fuss was about, he felt compelled to ask, "What's with me, anyway? Why'd you an' Hakkai an' Gojyo go so weird on me before?"

Sanzo glanced up at him and quickly rolled his eyes. "If you can't figure it out for yourself, then keep quiet."

"But I wanna know! If there's somethin' wrong with me… with it, then I have to know."

"If there was something wrong it, do you really think I'd be here?" Sanzo asked plainly, then ran his tongue over his lower lip, leaving a shining line of moisture on the soft curve.

If Sanzo wasn't careful, Goku was going to come on the spot - how freaking embarrassing would that be. The look he was seeing on Sanzo's face reminded him again of a post-battle tension. Goku figured it was just another form of arousal, in a way - he could understand it, having felt pumped and high on adrenaline in the past after particularly large brawls.

"I guess not…" he finally answered, slightly more at ease. Sanzo had a point, he supposed - if he was abnormal, surely Sanzo never would've got into the pool with him in the first place.

"Just hush." Sanzo started inching closer, still transfixed on Goku's cock. At that moment, Goku realised this really was happening, that Sanzo was about to - that he was going to-

"Ah! Ohhh, oh my fucking- oh, Sanzo!" Goku made no conscious decision to buck his hips up, his cock sliding against Sanzo's mouth, nudging to get inside. Clenching his fingers around the edge of the pool, Goku held on, trying desperately not to come straight in Sanzo's face. Moments that felt like hours passed, before Sanzo opened up and sucked in the head of his cock, pressing his lips over the spongy, sensitive tip.

Goku's eyes rolled up then and he lost the ability to think, to speak, to breathe. He was barely able to stand the sight of Sanzo's lips parted wide, sucking him in, his own cock slipping further into Sanzo's exquisite mouth. The slightest graze of Sanzo's teeth sent violent tendrils of sensation roiling through him. Even Goku's wildest, most sexy dreams weren't this fucking good. Stomach clenched tightly to maintain control, he could only release little grunts of approval, trying to voice how amazing Sanzo felt, how incredible Sanzo was, but quite unable to form a coherent sentence.

Inch by agonizing inch, Sanzo took him in, working his mouth down Goku's hot, needy shaft to half way. The next thing Goku felt was hands on his thighs, easing his legs further apart. He had no idea how Sanzo knew what felt best, but when Sanzo pressed his tongue firmly against the underside of his dick, licking experimentally, Goku jerked up with a helpless cry.

"Guh, oh please - Sanzo, wait - I'll - I'm gonna fucking come, if you don't… if you don't-!" Although Goku desperately wanted pump himself into Sanzo's mouth, he dared not, clinging tightly to the edge of the pool to keep from losing control or coming too quickly.

Pulling back, Sanzo let Goku's cock slip from his mouth with a soft pop and sat back in on his heels. "That's the whole point, dolt."

Panting and dizzy, Goku let himself slide off the edge of the pool, rejoining Sanzo in the warm water. He slung his arms around Sanzo's neck, a move he never in a million years would've made before today, but somehow he knew this was all right, that this unusual burst of physical contact wasn't bothering Sanzo. Here, in the private onsen, Goku was learning to take from Sanzo the pleasure Sanzo was offering.

"I have no idea why you just did that for me," he murmured against the side of Sanzo's neck, lips moving over smooth skin, tracing the curve, the tendons beneath. "You felt so good… I want you more than anything. Shoot me now if you like - I dunno what I'm saying." If only he could get his mouth to shut the hell up, or Sanzo might get annoyed.

He both felt and heard Sanzo's soft snort. "I told you already, or do you really never listen to a word I say?" Pushing him back once again, Sanzo urged him to turn around in the water and lean over the rim of the pool. Goku went willingly, his body in tune to Sanzo's instruction, ready to do whatever Sanzo bid. Once settled over the edge with his chest pressed to the cool wooden boards, Goku rested his arms on the floor for leverage, rising up onto his knees. Sanzo pressed his torso over Goku's back, speaking directly into his ear from behind. "If this is what it takes to shut up your incessant moaning in my head, then so be it."

Goku's cock twitched needfully.

"Pervert," Sanzo added in a smoky tone.

"Ungh," Goku breathed, rocking backwards a little, until he felt the slide of Sanzo's hard dick brushing against his thigh. "Are you gonna…" A blush formed high on his cheeks, but he wanted to say it out loud, believing it'd be the hottest thing ever to voice his deepest, darkest dreams. "Are you gonna fuck me now?"

"I am," Sanzo confirmed quietly, breath beating coolly like wings against Goku's shoulder. Goku felt him pull away, groaned at the loss of contact after Sanzo had just told him he was going to take him. "Don't move an inch."

The order left no room for argument, not that Goku was going to disobey or push his luck. He held fast, his head bowed so that his forehead rested on his folded arms, the wood beneath him sturdily supporting his upper half, something he was grateful for.

After a moment, Goku picked up the sound of glass chinking behind. He knew immediately what it was - Sanzo was sifting through the many lotion bottles on the shelves. Although Goku had never had sex before, he vaguely understood the mechanics, that for it to be more comfortable there would need to be something to ease the passage of Sanzo's cock. Otherwise, how the hell was it going to fit in there?

Fuck, it started sinking in that soon Goku would feel Sanzo's cock in him, deep inside him, thrusting into him. The thought threatened to blow his mind and he let out a helpless, silent laugh, closing his eyes and willing Sanzo not to take too long or he might pass out before they'd even begun.

Sensing that Sanzo was drawing close again, Goku tensed up, impatience and a little fear gripping him.

The first touch was to his back, at the centre, just the pads of Sanzo's fingertips. Slowly, Sanzo drew them down, along the line of Goku's spine. Goku arched helplessly like a cat, enjoying the exploration, marvelling at the fact that it was Sanzo taking the time to learn him. At Goku's tailbone, Sanzo rubbed in circles, then stopped, his touch disappearing.

"Sanzo…" Goku's body screamed for more. "Please, I want this more than anything." Yes, he was afraid, but he trusted Sanzo with his life and he trusted Sanzo with his virginity. The fear was more focused on Sanzo's enjoyment, although Goku felt it was irrational - Sanzo had instigated this for the most part, after all; it must be feeling good for him too. Besides, Goku wanted Sanzo to have him, to take him however Sanzo wanted, for Sanzo to enjoy him as Goku knew he'd love every second of having Sanzo inside him. Being claimed, for real and in entirety by the only person Goku had ever truly loved… he couldn't fathom it.

The next touch was decidedly cooler, Sanzo's fingers slick and moist, rubbing down the crease of Goku's arse. At his entrance, Sanzo brushed back and forth, his touch curious and light at first, but growing more purposeful with every rotation. Goku was fast losing it, his cock so hard he felt like it would explode at any given moment. When Sanzo breeched him with a fingertip, Goku thrust back, not caring about the burn, simply wanting everything and anything Sanzo was willing to give him.

"Easy," Sanzo murmured. "Don't go getting too hasty or you'll hurt."

"You won't hurt me." Goku believed it, no matter what Sanzo did to him. Even if there was pain, Goku would not be hurt.

"Che, listen to you, always so sure of yourself."

"I'm sure of you."

Sanzo grumbled under his breath at that, but luckily it wasn't spoken with the irritation of the past, just a light sort of exasperation. There was an edge of breathlessness to Sanzo's voice now; he made fast work of preparing Goku, but made it thorough and pleasurable. So thorough and pleasurable, in fact, that by the time he'd pushed a third finger past Goku's tight muscle, Goku was positively expiring from need - need to be filled to the brim, pushed to his boundaries. Taken.

"Now, oh please, now." Goku no longer cared whether Sanzo would get annoyed with his pleas - it was all he could to not to combust right then.

Many things happened in quick succession: Sanzo removed his fingers, then firmly clutched Goku's hip. Then there was the sound of the water gently sloshing as Sanzo shifted behind him, followed by the feel of something much thicker and smoother than Sanzo's fingers at his hole.

Closing his eyes, Goku concentrated on remaining relaxed. "Take it all," he groaned, not sure what he was saying as Sanzo pressed in, the thick head of his cock working past Goku's muscles in an agonizingly slow slide. The sting was sharp and harsh to begin with, but it made Goku feel so alive, so wanted, that he didn't care. Embracing the slight pain and letting it turn everything strikingly clear, he chewed his lower lip, nonsensical noises escaping between his teeth. Sanzo's cock was so hot and solid and real, the penetration was beyond anything he could've imagined.

Beneath the steady stream of his own moans, Goku could hear Sanzo's playing an octave lower, mingling in the quiet to form a wholly sexy accompanying song.

"Push backwards," Sanzo gasped harshly. "Push onto me."

As told, Goku eased himself back, sinking onto Sanzo's length until he was fully settled against Sanzo's groin. Goku had never felt so full, never thought anything could be like this, with tendrils of pain spiralling in between the surges of pleasure, his inner muscles on fire, burning perfectly around Sanzo's cock.

"You feel so good," Goku sighed, submerged in everything Sanzo, as if the monk was gradually crawling into and over him at the same time. The sensation was so overwhelming Goku fancied he was being consumed by their sex; if he never felt anything else again as long as he lived, he would be all right - this was absolute fulfilment and he would never forget it. Squirming a little to seek out further pleasure, Goku marvelled when a sharp noise was pulled from Sanzo's mouth.

"Fuck, don't move too much." Sanzo drew out a little way, slowly, carefully. All Goku wanted to do was impale himself, but he forced his body to resist the urge.

The next thrust was deeper and faster, nudging Goku against the edge of the pool, his cock lightly grazing the panels. He worked one hand down into the water, wrapping his fingers around his twitching, rigid dick and twisting the length. At the same time, Sanzo drew out, pushed in forcefully, his movements becoming more fluid, his hips rolling naturally.

"Uhh, more, I can take it," Goku groaned, unable to find the right words to show Sanzo how much he wanted this.

When a strong hand joined the one he already had pumping at his erection, Goku lost every last shred of coherency. After that, he had no idea how long it was before he couldn't hold back any more - not long, that was for sure. Sanzo fucked him like he was reading Goku's mind, slipping into an uncoordinated, wild rhythm that Goku matched below. He fisted his own length, the squeeze perfectly tight as Sanzo aided him until, with a hoarse cry, he came, spilling hot and hard in his palm and over Sanzo's fingers.

Letting his head drop forward once again, Goku continued to pump slowly at his cock, milking out the last few blazing bursts of his orgasm. Sanzo let go of him and grasped his hip, sounding close judging by the ragged, cut-off noises he was making.

The only thing Goku regretted was not being able to see Sanzo's face when suddenly, with a quick inhale, Sanzo entered him all the way, pushing his entire weight against Goku and stilling. It was the strangest thing, to feel Sanzo trembling against him; Goku wanted to touch him, but he could do nothing but wait, riding out Sanzo's release with small rotations of his hips.

Basking in the come down, Goku replayed everything he could recall, from the embarrassment of being discovered in the onsen, to the utter confusion at Hakkai and Gojyo's reaction, to Sanzo's unspoken revelation, to the incredible sex - his first time.

Holy shit, his first time! The most amazing thing that had ever happened to him.

He only hoped Sanzo wouldn't come to regret it.

As the thought started to worry him, Sanzo's weight shifted, then eased up. He pulled out of Goku, leaving an empty kind of ache in wake of his thrusting. At this stage, Goku was half afraid to turn around, wondering what he'd see in Sanzo now - would there be shock? Would there be repentance? Shame?

Gah! Goku hated the unnerving silence. "Sanzo?" he whispered.

"What?" Breathless, rough.

"Don't go just yet, yeah?" Hopeful, sated.

"Like hell, I haven't even washed yet."

Goku let a smile come freely then, finally hoisting himself up, his arse starting to go a little numb, but it was okay, it was bearable. Turning as Sanzo settled down in the water, Goku took the place beside him, sitting close enough that his arm brushed against Sanzo's.

"That was the best. Thing. Ever," he said earnestly, his body relaxing back against the pool's edge. If that really was the only time, if Sanzo really had got him out of his system, then Goku would just deal. At least he had today, an occasion he'd always remember. As long as Sanzo had no regrets, Goku figured he could never ask for more than this.

Sanzo sighed deeply, a strange silence descending around them that wasn't uncomfortable. Goku didn't know what it was - satisfied, kind of peaceful.

He ventured a quick glance to his right, noting the smoothness of Sanzo's face, the lines usually crinkling his forehead completely absent. Goku grinned and was still grinning when Sanzo caught his eye, but he didn't care how stupid he probably looked.

"Smug bastard," the monk grumbled. Without any warning, he reached down into the water and wrapped his fingers around Goku's spent, quiescent cock. "Just so we're clear on something, this belongs to me now."

Goku almost swallowed his tongue, staring at Sanzo with wide eyes.

"Do you hear me?" Sanzo prompted, adding the tiniest squeeze to Goku's dick.

"Ah! Yeah, loud and clear." Goku spluttered, squirming with a mixture of disbelief and delight at what Sanzo had said. Slowly loosening his hold, Sanzo gave him one last fierce look, then let go.

Goku marvelled at the turn of events. Sanzo had claimed him all right - in more ways than one. "Totally yours," he then added, his grin reappearing. A little mischief curled within him, and Goku figured he might as well run with it while Sanzo was so agreeable. "But you know, I always have been."

"Che, shut up, smart ass."

Letting out a light laugh, Goku closed his eyes, contentedly soaking up the scent of their sex and Sanzo's warm, encompassing presence.

~Fin~