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Title: Mirror
- Author: Meicdon13
- Pairing(s): Sanzo x Kougaiji/Kougaiji x Sanzo
- Rating: PG-13
- Summary: Be my reflection. Be my image. Be what I cannot be. Sanzo
and Kougaiji need one another because they're so much alike and yet so
different. It's a mirror they stare into yet they see the other one instead.
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Website: http://meicdon13.livejournal.com/
MIRROR
It was actually quite strange. The two of them were enemies, both wanting the
opposite of what the other desired, both wishing the other would just die or
disappear. Both wanting something that the other could not or would not give.
So why did they have so many things in common?
oOo
Sanzo was drowning. The darkness was engulfing his mind like the cold water
caressing his body. He knew how to swim, yet his body refused to respond to his
thoughts. He was going to die in this illusion conjured up by some manic
youkai. All he could think about was how dark the water was becoming.
Then there was light. An image surrounded by light flashed by and he was rising
up. Hands broke through the surface and he heard…a voice. It called to him, his
master's voice; calling to him from out of the illusion, seeming to guide him
with gentle words as he shot Zakoru and watched the youkai die.
oOo
Kougaiji was suffocating. Even when he opened his eyes, there was nothing but
darkness. He couldn't move, couldn't think straight, couldn't do anything
useful. He lay there, listening, trying to make sense of what was happening. He
felt oddly disoriented, like he had been asleep for a long time.
A voice was speaking…it belonged to one of the two brightly-lit images that
appeared out of the darkness like a picture slowly coming into focus. Words
that swore loyalty gave him the strength to make a move, to be the leader that
his two followers wanted him to be. So he stood up and fought.
oOo
He wondered why he ended up with her. She was a mere child; surely she was
better suited to fight with Goku? But she seemed to favor him and he could do
nothing except frown and offer her another nikuman to keep her busy.
oOo
As usual, he paired off with him. According to the monkey, he had a debt to
pay. It never failed to surprise him how much his adversary reminded him of
Lirin. Full of life, and energy. Full of fight. He would not let him win.
oOo
What was he trying to prove to himself anyway? That he was worthy of inheriting
his master's sutras? That he wasn't the weakest member of the group? He had
stopped caring after a while.
After all, did it really matter?
oOo
What was he trying to prove to himself anyway? That he was strong enough to
bring back his mother? That his title of youkai prince actually meant
something? It stopped bothering him after a while.
After all, nobody really cared.
oOo
They were fighting again. He shot at him and he evaded the bullets. He summoned
another fire demon and he chanted his sutra. It was a dance with steps that
were so intricate that one mistake meant certain death.
And like all dances, their partners were of great significance.
Their eyes would meet and they would be shocked to see themselves mirrored
there. Eyes so similar to one another it was almost as if there was no actual
difference.
Self-hate. Self-pity. Doubt. Hope. Anger. Pain. Everything in between.
Maybe that was why they would collapse into each other's arms at night. The
simple comfort of being held was enough because the person who was holding them
knew what it felt like to have an unbearable burden on their shoulders. What it
felt like to have someone important to live for.
They were both unwilling leaders of their groups. Both of them were proud and stubborn.
Unyielding but weak inside at the thought of failure. The fear of waking up the
next day with nothing left; not even the reason why they continue living.
They both knew how it felt to have people watching them, waiting for them to
make a single mistake. Waiting for them to fall. Because they would
fall, one way or another. And they would fall and crash and burn and fail
because of the very person they were holding in their arms.
oOo
They were opposites. They were enemies. Human and demon. Light and dark. Good
and bad. Holiness and damnation. Yin and yang. A marble sculpture and a bronze
statue. They complement each other the way conflicting things do.
One cannot exist without the other because without one, there would be no way
to define the other.
How can you define what is human unless you have something which is not human?
How would you know what darkness is unless you have seen the light?
oOo
They are so much alike and yet they are the representation of everything that
the other opposes. They constantly fight and battle and hurt one another
because that it was they are supposed to do. And yet they comfort one
another as well with covert glances to make sure that no serious injury has
been inflicted and open arms at night along with the calm reassurance that
there is somebody else in this cruel world who can share their pain.
oOo
They are like the reflections of one another; Sanzo and Kougaiji.
Reflections are so much alike at first glance. They move as you do, make the
same actions as you do. But they do it in reverse. Raise your left hand and
they raise their right.
And that's the only way they can define what is between them for they refuse to
call it a relationship or bond because they share these things with someone
else.
They are the mirror image of the other. Like shards of a broken mirror that
show a glimpse of something more in its depths.
oOo
Be my reflection
Be my image
Be what I cannot be
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