my way to where the air is sweet
Word count: 1292
Genre: uh. Crack. Lots of crack.
Pairings: (brief) Sanzo x Kougaiji
Disclaimer: No infringement of any copyrights intended. All characters belong to Kazuya Minekura and (I think) Sesame Workshop.
Notes: Saiyuki/Sesame Street crossover. I really have no idea where this came from. It's utter crack. It probably doesn't even make much sense. ^^;
The Sanzo-ikkou made it into town barely before sunset. They hadn't been at an inn in nearly a week and all four were looking forward to sleeping on a real bed and roof over their heads.
"I can't wait! Real hot food!" Goku shouted as the team walked into the inn. He quickly noted the long menu list of the diner attached to their accommodations.
"Yes, it'll be nice to have a proper hot meal after all this time." Hakkai enthused along with the boy.
"Oi. I want food as much as the rest of you but don't you think we should get rooms first?" Gojyo called out as he and Sanzo approached the inn keeper's desk. Luckily the inn was fairly empty and all four had the added luxury of individual rooms and baths. The inn keeper explained to the group, "Yeah, we're not getting too many visitors lately. It's that crazy youkai that's running around town. Oh, don't worry, he just goes around counting things and manages to get thunder and lightning to follow him around everywhere. The kids get scared, but he's never hurt anyone in town as far as we know. Seems relatively harmless as far as youkai go, but word of any youkai tends to keep visitors out."
"Hmm." Sanzo raised his eyebrow but was otherwise uninterested.
"A harmless youkai? How is that possible, unless he hasn't managed to be affected by the minus wave?" Hakkai wondered.
"We can always find out later, for now let's get some food." Gojyo suggested.
"I agree for once!" Goku said happily.
** Later that evening **
A light rapping on the window alerted Sanzo that his visitor had arrived. He moved to open the window and helped Kougaiji climb into his room.
Before the monk could utter a word, he found himself tumbling onto the bed, tonsils attacked by an obviously horny youkai prince on top of him. Sanzo momentarily wanted to interrupt, but thought better of it. He wasn't about to complain when he was going to have the best sex in oh, about a month now. Correction, the only sex in about a month.
Kougaiji moved to quickly strip both himself and Sanzo of their obstructive clothing. Lighting struck across the sky and briefly drenched the room in bright light. The prince was momentarily confused, not remembering the presence of any clouds in the sky when he flew into town that evening.
Thunder followed. Then more lightning. Then a cackling voice drifted into the inn, "One! Two! Three stray cats! HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
The youkai prince looked at Sanzo, dumbfounded expression on his face. "What was that?"
"Fucking hell." The priest slapped his forehead, annoyed at the disturbance. "It's one of yours. Some youkai's been disturbing the town apparently."
"One of mine? I most certainly don't remember anyone with those powers, let alone with such a comical voice." Kougaiji protested, still naked and straddling Sanzo.
A knock came at the door. "Sanzo? We're all here, should we investigate that youkai?" Hakkai's voice came from the other side of the door.
"Tch." Sanzo groaned. All he wanted to do was get laid, but fate mocked him. "Fine. I'll be out in a few minutes."
Kougaiji looked at the monk, "Seriously?"
"Do I have much choice?"
"I guess not." The youkai prince answered dejectedly, fishing his clothes out of the discarded pile on the floor. Sanzo similarly reached out and retrieved his robes.
A minute later, the monk and the youkai prince stepped out of the room.
"Kougaiji! What are you doing here?" Goku asked, surprised to see the red-head. Gojyo merely snickered as Hakkai gave a polite cough.
To the prince's relief, Sanzo spoke up. "Nevermind, let's just go find this crazy youkai."
Goku still eyed Kougaiji suspiciously. It didn't look like the taller youkai was there to fight, so he let the matter drop for now.
The group of five made their way out of the inn and onto the dusty dirt road in the middle of the town. A full moon softly illuminated the street, and in the distance, a diminutive figure could be seen making its way down the road.
Kougaiji peered into the distance, youkai vision providing some advantage. "Whatever it is, he's pretty short. He's got pointed ears as well."
"So it is a youkai?" Gojyo asked.
"I can't tell for sure, but it's not like any youkai I've ever seen." Kougaiji replied.
The group quickly ran over to the short creature, stopping about 10 feet behind it. At such a close distance, they could easily tell the creature was indeed short. In fact, it was much shorter than Goku. It was also clothed strangely in what appeared to be a small black satin suit and black cape.
As if sensing their presence, the creature turned around and stared at the group curiously before skipping over to meet them. It spoke, "Greetings! A lovely night is it not? HA HA HA!"
The creature's pearly white fangs flashed in the moonlight as it laughed, purple felt-like skin now apparent in the moonlight. It really was unlike any youkai anyone had seen before, in fact, it most likely wasn't a youkai.
Hakkai spoke first, "Ah, yes it is. We heard you from inside our inn and wondered who you were."
The purple creature replied, "It is I! The Count from Sesame Street... Except that I think I am lost." The Count cocked his head to the side, seeing the glint of Hakkai's power limiters in the moonlight. "One! Two! Three silver earrings! HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
At that moment, thunder rolled and lightning flashed across the sky where the purple creature stood. The five taller individuals stood, staring at The Count in confusion. Goku spoke first, "So, you like to count things?"
"Of course! I am The Count! HA HA HA!" The purple creature replied.
"You mentioned you were lost?" Kougaiji asked The Count.
The purple creature studied the prince for a moment before pointing at Kougaiji, "How can this be? I am the only one I know with fangs and pointy ears! Humans don't have those."
"I'm not human." The youkai prince growled out.
"Hmm, indeed. I'm nowhere near Sesame Street, am I?" The purple creature looked sad as he made the observation.
"Afraid not little guy." Gojyo drawled.
"How will I ever get home?" The Count started to cry.
"Tch. How should I know? Click your heels three times and say 'There's no place like home.'" Sanzo rolled his eyes and motioned for Kougaiji to follow him back to the inn. This thing obviously wasn't a youkai and he wasn't about to waste anymore time on it.
"What a great idea!" The Count exclaimed suddenly and did just as he was told.
In a moment a haze grew about 20 feet in front of them, clearing slightly in the centre to reveal a moonlit smoothly paved street. A giant yellow feathered figure paused momentarily before moving off again into the distance.
"Sesame Street!" The Count jumped up for joy. He turned to the people behind him. "Well, it looks like I've found my way home. I bid you all a good night!"
With that the purple creature skipped off down the road. The haze disappeared just as the creature's black cape passed into the other world.
"Well, that's that." Gojyo said, not wanting to even attempt to make sense of what they had seen that night.
"Whatever." Sanzo took Kougaji's arm and speedily dragged the prince back to the inn as Gojyo, Hakkai and Goku looked on. Gojyo laughed openly this time while Hakkai kept quiet.
"Why's Sanzo in such a hurry and what's he going to do with Kougaiji?"