Author : lillypuff
Email: lilly_puff22 (at) yahoo (dot) com
Pairing : mainly Gojyo x Goku, mentions of Sanzo x Hakkai, some one-sided stuff as well
Rating : soft R
Warning(s) : some kissing and whatnot, angst, language, Gojyo being a bad influence *grins*
Summary : When we cannot have what we want, we learn to want what we have…
Disclaimer : Sadly, Saiyuki does not belong to me. I wish it did =) Don't sue me, I don't have any money anyway.
Random Notes: Gojyo x Goku FTW? lol Yes, I actually do like this pairing *grins* This was written for the minuswave.com Mix 'em Up Challenge #2 last month. Um, this was my first time writing these particular pairings, so please forgive the lack of outright smut, I couldn't do it for some reason *laughs*. To my complete surprise, this took first place! 0.0 I've cleaned this up a bit since it was first entered in the challenge, no major changes though.
A loud voice rings out over the sounds of an engine, "Move monkey, you're in my personal space!"
A second, younger voice, answers in defense, "You're the one who's in my space you stupid water sprite!"
A rustling of clothing and supplies can be heard and a third voice decides it is an appropriate time to make its opinion known.
"How about this," the voice suggests with the support of a gun to further drive the idea home, "both of you sit down and shut up or else I'll put a bullet in your heads."
"Now now," a fourth voice chimes in, one that is far calmer and eerily more cheery then the other three, "let's all settle down, we are almost to the next town."
The threat from voice three combined with the pleasant request from voice two seems to have conveyed the message properly.
Voice two mumbles an apology.
Voice one mumbles a colorful string of curses.
The engine "kewh's" in relief.
Hakkai watches with all seeing eyes as Sanzo tosses a key to Gojyo who, of course, catches the projectile with ease.
"You're rooming with the monkey tonight," Sanzo says in his best commanding tone.
To Hakkai's surprise, Gojyo only shrugs and picks up his single duffel bag. The healer can tell that Sanzo is expecting an argument from the red head, but he gets none; though there is one other party member that has not yet voiced his opinion on the subject...
"I don't want to hear it Goku," Sanzo replies to their youngest traveling companion, "I want a good night's sleep this time. You snore and the idiot kappa has been whining about crappy bars and a poor selection of women for the past couple weeks." Hakkai does not miss the sideways glance that Sanzo flicks in his direction.
"But…" the look on Goku's face is one of silent hurt and the healer has to wonder if perhaps he is partially responsible for that.
"No buts Goku…"
Hakkai is starting to think he should stop this before it goes any further but Gojyo beats him to it. It would appear that their half breed companion was full of surprises these days.
"Come on ape, go drop your gear off in the room, then we'll get something to eat," Gojyo pauses, perhaps for dramatic effect, "My treat."
For a minute Hakkai thinks that Goku will decline Gojyo's generous offer to feed him with poker winnings that are never a sure fire source of funds; but after a moment's thought on the proposal, Goku seems to perk up a bit, even if only slightly.
"OK, Gojyo," the young man replies, smiling as he takes the key from the red head and begins to race up the inn steps, two at a time.
"That's a good monkey," Gojyo calls out after him and Hakkai can't quite make out Goku's response, but he knows it probably has to do with 'stupid water sprites'.
With a snort and a flick of his hair, Gojyo turns to follow Goku who has already disappeared from the top of the stairway; glancing back briefly to smile at the healer.
Hakkai returns his friend's smile. Thank you for that Gojyo, he thinks to himself as he turns to look at Sanzo, who was currently doing a passable impersonation of a shocked priest.
When Gojyo enters the room he finds Goku sitting on the bed closest to the window, staring up at the sky through the grimy glass, a look of longing plastered on his face; gentle rays of moonlight shining around him.
The red head sighs as he throws his bag on the room's second bed, not bothering to turn on the lights. He is growing tired of seeing that look.
"Oi Goku, what're you staring at?" Gojyo asks his younger companion as he reaches out to ruffle Goku's hair.
Goku quickly shakes his head out from under Gojyo's brotherly affection, but does not make any response.
After a minute or so of waiting, Gojyo sighs once more, "Suit yourself. I'm gonna go get some food 'n' beer, you comin' or not?"
At first Goku doesn't make any response, but when he finally scoots off the bed and nods, Gojyo smiles a little. He could always trust the monkey's stomach to win out over just about anything else.
As the two men exit their room and walk down the inn hall Gojyo notices when Goku spares a glance at the room that temporarily belongs to their other traveling companions. He may not be the most perceptive guy in the world, but Gojyo knows that look and he doesn't like it.
"So, where we gonna eat, monkey?" Gojyo asks in hopes of distracting Goku.
"I'm not a monkey," Goku replies and Gojyo is happy to see a bit of a smile return to the young man's face. Their stupid little game of bickering and name calling was becoming an escape for both of them.
"Ya kinda look like one," Gojyo continues to taunt and when Goku swings out to hit him Gojyo allows the punch to make contact before putting Goku in a headlock.
"Ch. Guess I'll pick then," Gojyo says through a laugh as he begins to drag Goku down the stairs, the young man trying to wiggle free of the hold he has suddenly found himself in.
Eating with Goku is always a test of one's reflexes. Despite the fact that their table was currently covered with assorted plates of food, and that they were minus two members of their party, Gojyo still had to fight for his dinner. He was used to it though. He knew the right time to reach out and swiftly grab several pieces of tempura - when both of Goku's hands where full. He knew that the best time to snatch a few beef ribs was when Goku was distracted by a duck plate they had ordered. That's just how things were with Goku and food.
When dinner is done, Gojyo silently thanks the gods that the restaurant is fairly cheap, but even so, he figures he will need to find a good poker game in the next couple days.
Goku follows Gojyo as they exit the restaurant, his stomach currently sated from the large meal. It had been good food, and the waitress had been really nice, and pretty too. Goku assumed that had pleased Gojyo, considering the way he had flirted with her whenever she had come to check on them.
But Goku had to wonder what all that accomplished for the water sprite. More often then not Gojyo complained about not "getting any" even though he was always flirting with various women.
And then there was the way Gojyo looked at Hakkai. It wasn't the same look he gave all those women, but instead a curious look, sort of a loving look and often a sad look as well. Until recently, Goku had thought that maybe Gojyo and Hakkai were fooling around and all the flirting and complaining was merely a cover up; but when he began to realize that it was Sanzo and Hakkai who were fooling around, things began to click into place…
"Oi, Goku," comes Gojyo's voice and Goku looks up at the red head, "Stay here for a minute, I need 'ta run next door."
"OK," Goku replies, nodding.
I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, Goku thinks to himself as he watches Gojyo enter what he knows is a bar, but I know he's trying to make up for the things he cannot have…maybe we both are…
When Gojyo exits the building a few minutes later carrying a six pack of bottles plus another, larger bottle, Goku begins to wonder if drinking is just another way that Gojyo fills the void.
When they return to their room, Gojyo places his purchases on the small table beside his bed before gracefully plopping down on the mattress behind him. He watches as Goku scurries to his own bed, once again taking a position at the window.
Gojyo sighs and grabs a bottle of beer. He opens the bottle and takes a swig before letting his curiosity get the best of him.
"Goku?" he asks quietly, "Why do you always do that?"
"Do what?" the young man asks, seemingly oblivious.
"Stare out the window like that," Gojyo replies.
"Oh," Goku half mumbles, "well…"
Gojyo catches the underlying sadness in Goku's few words and interrupts him before he can say anything else, "You don't have to tell me, forget I asked."
When Goku made no further reply, Gojyo takes a long swig of his beer before grabbing a second bottle and proffering it towards the young man.
"Here," Gojyo says to the brunette who turns to look at him mildly confused, "You look like you could use a drink."
"But…what about Sanzo?"
Gojyo shakes his head and tosses the bottle gently towards the young man who catches it effortlessly. "I'll deal with the monk if he finds out."
"Ok," Goku replies, still looking apprehensive, as if he was expecting Sanzo to burst through the door at any moment. Eventually he puts aside his reservations and removes the cap of the bottle, then takes a tentative sip.
When Goku's expression begins to soften a little, Gojyo laughs. "Like it?"
"It tastes different," Goku responds, a tiny bit of foam on his mouth, "but I like it."
"Well, enjoy it while you can," Gojyo teases before taking another sip.
It still tastes a bit weird, even after an entire bottle, but Goku likes the beer Gojyo had given him. It makes him feel light and airy and he likes the way it bubbles against his tongue before he swallows.
"Can I have another one?" Goku asks, hopefully.
"Sure thing, monkey," Gojyo replies as he tosses another bottle at him.
Conversation had been next to nothing since Gojyo had given him the first beer. They had sat in silence, occasionally glancing at each other from across the room on their separate beds. Goku's mind kept wandering back to Gojyo's earlier question. He was beginning to feel bad for not answering it.
Looking up at Gojyo, Goku twists the top off the second bottle, then takes a deep breath.
"I used to do that when I was in the cave," he says, almost as if speaking to no one in particular.
"Huh?" is Gojyo's only response, he is obviously confused about this seemingly random statement.
"I use to stare at the moon at night when I was in the cave."
"Oh," Gojyo replies before finishing off his third beer and grabbing for the fourth, and last, from the six pack.
"I remember once I tried to stare at the sun, but it hurt my eyes; so at night I'd stare out at the moon and during the day I'd sleep curled up next to the bars under the warmth of the sunlight."
When Gojyo doesn't say anything in response, Goku wonders if he should stop talking, but the warm look on Gojyo's face is enough to convince him to continue.
"They were the only friends I had, the sun and the moon. They kept me company, until Sanzo came and took me away. But even now, sometimes I feel like they're all I have."
Gojyo tries to suppress the anger that is bubbling up inside him. Setting down the beer bottle, he picks up the bottle of whiskey he had also purchased. With little ceremony he unscrews the cap and takes a swig.
"What's wrong, Gojyo?" Goku asks.
"Nothing," is Gojyo's short response.
It's a lie, yes; but a necessary one; or so Gojyo thinks. He is torn between wanting to run across the hall so he can beat the crap out of that shitty monk and wanting to comfort Goku, to make sure that the young man knows he is not alone. Despite the obvious tension as of late, the four of them are closer now then they had ever been before they were sent on this stupid journey.
"Goku, you know you have us, right?" Gojyo asks, pausing to gauge the young man's reaction. When Goku takes a sip of his beer, but says nothing, Gojyo takes that as a sign to continue. "Hakkai and me, we care. You can come to us if you need anything. And I'm sure that false priest cares too, just in his own way."
"You really mean that?" Goku asks seeming to have actually perked up a bit.
"Yup, sure do."
Goku smiles and the sight of it warms Gojyo's heart a little; it's such a carefree and innocent smile. Well, maybe not completely innocent, considering the monkey is working his was to a good buzz at the very least, but it definitely makes the young man look far happier then he did earlier in the day.
Gojyo watches as Goku practically chugs the remainder of his beer and he can't help but laugh.
"Slow down there champ," Gojyo manage to spurt out between chuckles, "that's the last of the beer."
"Oh," Goku replies through a burp, "Bummer."
"Well, there is whiskey," Gojyo says, shaking the bottle slightly.
When Goku's eyes light up like twin suns, Gojyo can't help but laugh harder.
"No, no," Gojyo practically yells at Goku as the young man slides off of the bed nearest to the window and lands in a heap on the floor. "You have to put more feeling into it. Watch!"
When Gojyo can tell that Goku is watching him from his resting place on the floor, the red head grabs the edge of the blanket he has tied around his neck, pulling the makeshift cape up to cover most of his face.
Eyes narrowed, Gojyo takes a deep breath before whispering the three dreaded words that were a sure fire sign that he was more then drunk:
He pauses for a moment, and when Goku erupts into fits of laughter, Gojyo jumps down from the bed he had been standing on to strike his best superhero pose as the blanket fell back down to his side.
"See, nothin' to it," Gojyo proclaims through a lopsided grin.
"Okie, lemme try again!" Goku exclaims, though he doesn't move from his spot on the floor. "Just as soon as the room stops spinning."
Gojyo extends his hand to the young man on the floor, "Need help?"
Goku shakes his head violently, "I can do it m'self, you dumb monkey."
"Um, Goku," Gojyo manages between bouts of laughter, "I'm the idiot kappa…you're the dumb monkey."
"Oh yeah," Goku replies matter-of-factly, "I'm the dumb monkey."
"Yup, glad we got that straight."
"What're we doin'?"
"I have no idea…" Gojyo replies honestly as he slumps down onto the floor next to Goku.
"Gojyo, do you think Sanzo and Hakkai are happy?"
"I hope so," Gojyo replies, wondering where the conversation is going and not liking the prospects. It's really not a conversation he wants to have.
"Me too," echoes Goku as he inches closer to the red head, then leans over until his head is resting on Gojyo's lap. The half breed is unable to keep from noting that the younger man's head is resting precariously close to a certain sensitive area of his body.
Gojyo stares silently at the back of Goku's head for a moment before speaking, "Um, what're you doing, Goku?"
"Oh, um, thank you, I guess," Gojyo replies with a pat on the younger man's head. He had meant to remove his hand after that, but he found himself not really wanting to. Instead he begins to run his fingers through Goku's short brunette hair. When Goku lets out a content sigh, Gojyo can't help but snort.
"I like that," Goku whispers and Gojyo smiles, applying more pressure as he occasionally entangles his fingers within the young man's hair. When Goku rubs his head against Gojyo's lap the red head closes his eyes and lets out a little moan from the contact.
"Roll over on your back," Gojyo tells Goku and the young man seems happy to comply, even going so far as to settle his head back into Gojyo's lap. The red head squirms a little and rests his free hand on Goku's stomach, the other hand still moving amongst the younger man's hair. The two men stare at each other in silence until Gojyo slides his hand under Goku's neck, raising the younger man up to him slightly.
When their lips first touch, Goku is incredibly still and Gojyo wonders if maybe he misinterpreted something along the way; but when Goku begins to kiss back, Gojyo realizes two things. First: this is what Goku wants, and second: he can tell from the way Goku is kissing back that he's done at least this much before. Gojyo pushes away all the thoughts of what that could mean since it really wasn't the best time to start asking questions, especially when he was pretty sure he already knew the answers.
When Goku starts to moan into his mouth, Gojyo slides his hand under Goku's shirt, caressing the lines of the younger man's tight, muscular frame.
Lifting his head, Gojyo takes a deep breath, eyeing Goku.
"Bed, now." He manages and Goku shakes his head enthusiastically as he rolls off of Gojyo's lap and begins to get to his feet.
Gojyo watches as Goku falls onto the bed after standing up and he can't help but chuckle. When he crawls onto the bed and hovers over the young man's body he can't help but smile and when he leans in to kiss Goku again, he can't help but pray to the heavens that Sanzo doesn't find out about this.
"Gojyo…Goku?" Hakkai calls through the door after knocking for the third time. "Are you two alright in there?"
When he gets no response, the healer tries the door knob, finding it unlocked. Slowly he opens the it, hoping for the best but prepared for the worst, which was that the two had finally driven each other mad.
When he steps inside the room and finds Gojyo spooning Goku in the bed near the window he has to admit to himself that this scenario had not crossed his mind. Frankly, he isn't quite sure what to do, so he does the first thing that pops into his head, he begins to exit the room.
"Oi, please tell me it's not morning already," comes a harsh voice that sounded eerily familiar. Of course it was Gojyo, but it was a Gojyo that Hakkai remembered from what seemed like so long ago in a land of small apartments, even smaller beds, and all night drinking and poker binges.
"It is," Hakkai replies.
After Gojyo's rather blunt assessment of the situation, Hakkai notices Goku is beginning to stir.
"Oh man, why does my head hurt so much?" the younger man asks in a voice that sounds much too young for his age.
"That would be the hangover," Gojyo replies, chuckling.
Hakkai's eyebrows furrow and he has to keep himself from yelling, "You got him drunk?" the healer manages to ask semi-calmly. If Sanzo found out, they might all be dead.
"Yeah, but he need's to work on his Batman impersonations," Gojyo replies matter-of-factly.
Not knowing exactly what that means, Hakkai does the only thing he can do; he sighs, "Look. Sanzo wants to leave right now and he sent me to fetch you two. Unless you want him in here, I recommend you guys get moving."
"Alright, alright," Gojyo replies, "We'll be down in a few minutes."
"Thank you Gojyo," Hakkai responds in a calmer voice. "I'll keep Sanzo busy until then."
"Thank you, Hakkai," Goku barely manages to mumble.
"You are both welcome," Hakkai replies, a tiny smile starting to spread on his face, "but don't think you two are getting out of telling me exactly what happened here."
Gojyo groans, "I thought that would have been obvious."
"Did you really mean what you said, Gojyo?" Goku asks as he finishes tying the laces of his boots.
"You mean about your impersonations? Yeah man, you need to work on those," the red head responds, smiling.
"Not that you dumb kappa," Goku replies through a laugh before regaining a more serious tone, "I meant about you being there when I need it?"
"Every word of it," Gojyo replies as he runs a hand through the younger man's hair.
"Uh-huh. Now let's get our asses downstairs before Sanzo comes to pay us a visit."
Goku nods and grabs his bag before slowly walking out the door. Gojyo watches for a moment before following after. Last night he would have said that neither of them had what they truly wanted in this world; but now he was starting to wonder if that might be slowly changing.