Title: Longing 
Author: lawless

LJ: http://lawless523.livejournal.com/
Pairing: Hakkai/? (you'll see why when you read the prompt)
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for sexual references
Disclaimer: Saiyuki belongs to Kazuya Minekura, not me. No profit is being made from this.

Written for the anonymous kink meme hosted by istumen, so yes, I'm unveiling. Here's the prompt:

This is a little odd, but can I have a fic in the form of a letter from Hakkai to any member of the Ikkou (except Hakuryu). The context should be that Hakkai has gone away for some work, but writes in to let that ikkou member know that he misses him/them and that he *longs* for them. If possible, I'd like it more erotic and less pron?

I'd rather leave to whom Hakkai is writing a mystery until you read the "letter".   

My beloved one,

I've only been gone for a week and already I'm going crazy. It's fortunate that work keeps me busy because by the time I return to the threadbare rooms I've rented I miss you so much that I ache all over. All I'm good for is correcting whatever assignments need to be handed back the following day and inhaling whatever alcohol I have on hand so I can sleep without my desire for you tormenting me.

When I left, I didn't think this would be so hard. Most of our moments together are stolen and fleeting like a blossom which is appears one day and is gone the next. I thought no longer being able to sneak around to see you would soothe my agitated heart but the pounding in my chest has only gotten worse because I know I can't see you, let alone have you.

Before the cloud of inebriation captures me and carries me away to dreamland, I recall the warmth of your skin and the way you caress me. The way you strip my defenses away. The way you twist my nipples just hard enough to make an impression but not hard enough so it hurts afterward.

The way you look up at me, completely trusting, and smile before taking me into that hot mouth of yours and suck me off like I'm your favorite food. The way your tongue skims over me when you're finished, licking me completely clean and grinning like the idiot Sanzo so often calls you. Nobody smiles like you do. I'm beginning to think nobody else can. You banish thunderclouds with the warmth of that smile.

Remember the night we spent under the stars? Skin to skin, claw to claw, raw animalistic passion just about tearing our insides out. You bit down on the cartilage of the pointy corner of my ear so hard it almost made me come all by itself. I wove my vines around you until you ripped them apart. You caressed and licked the scar on my abdomen as if it were beautiful instead of a horror. We drew blood from loving each other that night.

I know that for safety's sake we can't let go like that often but it was the first and only time I felt good about my youkai nature. There have been times it's been handy during a fight but I still was ashamed and regretted it. With you I can be my true self – the self I am now– and not feel ashamed.

My arms ache to hold you and my lips ache to kiss you once more. The best I can do for now is to remember how it feels to be seated in you and to watch you writhing under me. Some nights when I don't want to drink myself into a stupor, I lie awake and run my hands up and down my cock, working it while imagining that you are doing it, not me. I feel your warm breath ghosting over me, making my skin tingle. I feel like I'm about to explode until I breathe your name as I come.

One thing our enforced absence has taught me is that I don't want to be parted from you ever again. When the term is over and I return, I will find my own place to live where you can visit and stay for the night. That will mean telling the others about us. I don't know how either of them will react – Gojyo likely will be hurt and Sanzo may threaten to shoot both of us – but you're right, we can't keep this a secret forever. So the one good thing to come from all of this is an end to the sneaking around that you hate so much anyway.

I can only hope that the news is enough to tide both of us over until my return.

With all of my love,
Hakkai

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