Disclaimer: Saiyuki and its characters are Kazuya Minekura's, not mine. This is written for love, not money, and no copyright or other infringement is intended.
Summary: A little tenderness isn't too much to ask except, maybe, from Sanzo.
Author's Notes: Thanks to my beta reviewer, whymzycal. I touched this last, so all remaining mistakes are mine. Approximately 5,600 words. This was written for the 393 prompt community sunandearth. Prompt: Goku/Sanzo, intervention.
Goku never imagined that Sanzo would ever have sex with him. Sanzo never wanted what Goku did. But when it first happened, Goku couldn't wipe the grin off his face, even after Sanzo threatened him with the fan. Still, he thought it was a one-time thing that Sanzo would later deny ever happened.
So he was thrilled beyond belief when it turned out to be the beginning, not the end. It wasn't as though they did it often or followed a pattern, however. They slept together an average of once a week. Goku was proud of having worked this bit of math out in his head. He wished he could let Hakkai know that he'd finally put the math Hakkai had tried to teach him to good use.
At the time, Goku would have been shocked that he'd be unhappy with things just a few months later. Sanzo's less than affectionate actions didn't bother him not then, anyway.
The bruising kisses, the impatient demands, being pushed onto the bed and fucked hard none of this was a surprise. Sanzo was grumpy and impatient about everything else; why should this be any different? If anything, it made him feel wanted.
But as things continued, Goku wanted something more. He wanted to be held because Sanzo wanted to, not because it was expected of him. He wanted to feel valued, not used.
He heard Gojyo calling, "Earth to Goku!" and realized he'd been sitting there, daydreaming, while everyone else had already gotten out of Jeep.
How could he get Sanzo to slow down and smell the roses? Even when he helped others, Sanzo hid it beneath his usual gruff manner. He handled Hakuryuu with care and was concerned about his well-being, but Hakuryuu could inflict a nasty bite--as Goku knew from experience--and seeing to his needs made sense when he was the only transportation they had. No, Sanzo's attentiveness to Hakuryuu was more a matter of making sure their ride was in tiptop shape, not niceness.
He'd caught Sanzo playing with a stray puppy, but as soon as he'd seen Goku, he stopped and pretended nothing had happened. He called Goku "monkey." Maybe he had a soft spot for small animals.
And what about that little girl they'd rescued from that winged youkai? Less than five minutes before she bit the youkai and fell from the sky into Gojyo's arms, she had yelled how horrible Sanzo was because he wouldn't help her. But then he did.
Goku sighed, defeated. All that this told him was that Sanzo didn't want anyone to think he was capable of being nice. Maybe he saw it as a sign of weakness. Or maybe he did it so he could avoid being overwhelmed by demands for favors. Maybe he'd learned not to act nice during the years he'd spent searching for his master's sutra.
He continued to try to think of anyone Sanzo had been nice to or hadn't shouted at or threatened with a gun. It finally dawned on him what they had in common.
* * *
Goku looked closely at himself in the mirror. He smoothed down the skirt and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up further in the process. The crown made him look royal and didn't entirely fit the image he had in mind, but he couldn't leave it off. He sighed. It would have to do.
He slowly turned in a complete circle, nearly tripping over his feet in the process. He'd have to get used to the shoes. All in all, though, the effect was good, although he wasn't happy that he'd had to tell Hakkai that he needed money to buy food during the festival that started yesterday. He hated lying. Hiding the small package from prying eyes was an accomplishment, too.
He took a deep breath, sucked in his waist, and wobbled out the door and down the hall. Gojyo was playing cards in the bar, and Sanzo and Hakkai had already left for the festival. Goku had spilled something on his shirt to give him a reason to go back to the room after dinner and had told them he'd join them later. That meant that he had a little time to get used to his new clothes before any of them saw him.
He wandered around the festival for awhile. The streets were filled with booths and awesome smells; in addition to all the glorious food, he spotted booth after booth of games. He wondered if Sanzo would be interested in the ones that required shooting skill.
Some of the other games looked like they were right up Goku's alley. One was a test of strength that involved smacking a lever with a large mallet. When the weight hit the top, a bell rang. It was too bad that none of the prizes were anything he or Sanzo would want.
Goku paused in front of the booth with the test of strength machine. One of the men waiting in line asked him, "You lookin' for someone to win you a prize, darlin'?"
Goku scrunched up his face for a moment because he wasn't used to being called darling, but the man clearly meant well, so he responded, "Nah. I was thinkin' of tryin' it myself." His muscles were hidden underneath his outfit, so Goku understood why the man might not be sure he was up to the challenge.
The man laughed and said, "If you think you can, join the line." One of his friends, who had been listening, said, "I'd pay good money to see that!"
He edged sideways in order to join the end of the line, doing his best to be as hard to spot as possible. The man who'd spoken to him first turned around and winked at him. He figured it was a friendly wink because the man was smiling. Some other people in line and passing by looked at him funny; maybe they thought someone as short as he was couldn't possibly get the weight all the way to the top.
After a few minutes, the man who'd spoken to him was at the head of the line. He paid his money and tried three times. He came close twice, but close wasn't good enough. He started to walk away, disgusted, then turned to Goku and sneered, "I'd like to see you top that."
The crowd closed in around him now that it was Goku's turn. He shivered; the atmosphere wasn't as welcoming as before. He stepped up to the strength tester, paid for three tries, squared his shoulders, and let loose a mighty whack that sent the weight up, up, up -- until it fell back toward the ground.
"Wha--?" Goku said, puzzled. He'd hit it more than hard enough. He craned his neck to see if something was blocking the track the weight traveled along. He hated to think that the game was rigged and the people running the booth were cheaters, but he'd heard plenty of such stories from Gojyo. Gojyo'd been involved in such schemes himself when he was younger and worked for someone named Banri, who must not be a very nice man since Hakkai didn't like him. Goku had noticed Hakkai pressing his lips together in a thin line and looking away every time Gojyo mentioned Banri's name.
When he looked more carefully at the machine, Goku thought he saw a piece of paper stuck in the track. If it really was paper, the weight should gouge it out if he got it moving fast enough. Something called momentum, if he remembered right from one of Hakkai's science lessons.
He flexed his muscles, straightened his shoulders, and marched up to the Strength-O-Meter again.
BAM! He struck so hard that the weight nearly flew, but it still didn't quite strike the bell.
"Too bad," a man in the crowd said.
The piece of paper was still there, but it had been driven deeper into the groove. Maybe next time it would be hammered in so deeply that the weight would go right past it.
Everyone held their breath as he readied himself for his last try. He didn't dare pay for more; he didn't have much money left as it was.
BOOM! The mallet hitting the lever sounded like a shotgun blast as the weight went zipping upward until it hit the bell. The noise directed all eyes toward the machine.
Goku craned his neck to look at the prizes. He noticed they had a stuffed toy monkey with bright gold button eyes, brown fur, and a tan snout. If Sanzo didn't want it, he would keep it as a souvenir.
The man at the booth was slow to hand the monkey over to him, and the crowd, once somewhat hostile, was now outraged at his being taken advantage of.
"Give it to the poor kid!" they shouted.
Just as the proprietor handed him the toy, Goku heard a familiar baritone behind him. "What the fuck are you doing, monkey? You look ridiculous in that getup."
Goku heard the crowd murmuring as he gathered up his courage, turned around, and struck a pose with his hands--one of which held the monkey--on his hips. "It's pretty, though, isn't it?" he said.
Sanzo frowned at him as Gojyo stared and Hakkai looked shocked. Goku could hear people whispering about the cheek of this blond man making fun of their favorite. He should look at his own outfit first before making fun of someone else's!
Sanzo's words became even more pointed. "Why the fuck are you dressed up like a girl? Is there a costume contest going on? You could go as a stupid monkey instead."
The crowd murmured louder.
Goku's face fell. He tried one more time. "Uh, you don't like it, Sanzo?" He held the blue skirt out and tried to twirl, but tripped over his own feet and almost fell. The shoes might be the downfall of him yet.
A low chuckle came Gojyo, who was shaking with laughter. "Fuck it all, Goku, you look like ... I'm not sure what you look like. Where did you get that dress? You make a real cute girl."
"This outfit is like the one Seira wore, except smaller!" Goku said hotly.
Sanzo cleared his throat, interrupting. "That's not the point," he said. He gripped Goku by the wrist and began pulling him along, hissing at him, "You'd better have a damn good explanation for this. And how did you pay for that thing?"
Gojyo and Hakkai fell into step behind them while exchanging worried looks.
* * *
All in all, things hadn't gone quite as badly as they might have. Yes, Sanzo was pissed and had yelled at him, but he wasn't mad enough to keep Goku out of his bed that night. Goku had kept the real reason he'd dressed up as a girl to himself wisely, he thought and Sanzo had told him he wasn't interested in women. He then ripped the dress off and fucked Goku, fast and furious. Goku was horribly, terribly relieved that he hadn't made Sanzo mad enough to refuse to have anything to do with him.
After his relief that he hadn't completely screwed things up wore off, that nagging feeling that things could be better different more satisfying was still there. Sometimes he thought he was crazy to want anything more, but he'd thought that when he was convinced that Sanzo would never touch or think of him that way, and look what had happened.
So here he was, in a crappy room in the last of a bunch of crappy inns, asking Hakkai and Gojyo for advice. Yes, he'd sunk that low.
Gojyo guffawed. "You're complaining that Sanzo wants sex too often? That's a good one." He slapped his knee and held his stomach until he started sputtering. Tears collected in the corners of his eyes.
Goku was beginning to regret confiding in Gojyo, who Hakkai now fixed with one of those looks. Gojyo was laughing so hard at first that he didn't notice, but when he did, he stopped so quickly that he started hiccupping and couldn't stop for a long time.
"Ya weren't listening, stupid cockroach!" Goku yelled. "It's not that he wants it too often, but that he's too rough."
"This wasn't a problem at first, though?" Hakkai gently probed.
Goku threw himself on the bed opposite the one where Gojyo lounged and Hakkai sat, ramrod straight. "No," he said. "I liked it at first, 'cos it made me feel like he was eager to -- ya know ..."
"No, we don't know," Gojyo said. "Spell it out for us, monkey."
Goku glanced at him, disgustedly. "'M not a monkey. An' do I hafta say it?" he appealed to Hakkai.
Hakkai's hand briefly hovered over Gojyo's knee. "You don't have to," he assured him. "Your assumption was entirely reasonable. What changed?"
"Nothin' changed. That's the problem. He still acts the way he did at first. Why can't he be more, uh, tender, ya know?"
Gojyo scoffed. "Sanzo, tender? That's like expecting the desert to be wet."
Hakkai's elbow dug into his side. Gojyo winced. "But it does rain in the desert, on occasion," Hakkai said.
A look passed between the two of them, and Gojyo flapped a hand at Goku and said, "Forget I said anything." He sat for a moment, thinking. "Maybe the only way to get the idea through his thick skull is to show him."
"But how?" Goku said.
Gojyo grinned. "You may have to take the lead."
* * *
Sanzo was asleep by the time Goku returned to their room, his mind in a tizzy. He was glad not to have had to face Sanzo right then, but he was also sad to have missed an opportunity for the two of them to sleep together, even if it was too soon for him to put his plans for improving things into action.
He woke up the following morning to the sensation of being shaken. "Get up, you worthless monkey!" Sanzo said.
Once Goku was sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes, Sanzo snapped, "Where were you last night?"
"Watchin' Hakkai and Gojyo play cards." They'd agreed that it would be better not to tell Sanzo that he'd been talking with them.
"I thought they'd gone to their room for the night," Sanzo said.
"They were playin' cards in their room," Goku replied.
Sanzo considered this. "I'm surprised they weren't trying to fleece the locals. They usually play to earn spare cash they can spend on their own."
"Maybe they were playin' for the fun of it."
Sanzo snorted. "Knowing them, they were probably playing for some perverted stake."
Goku wondered what kind of perverted stake Sanzo was thinking of and if he could get Sanzo to play for something like that.
His mind was distracted from thoughts of strip poker -- or the loser blowing the winner -- when Sanzo sat down heavily next to him. The cheap mattress flexed in a way that made Goku's stomach flip. Sanzo used his arm and elbow to pin him down, leaned forward, and muttered into his ear, "We couldn't fuck because you weren't here last night. It's a little late to get cold feet."
Goku was equal parts aroused and terrified when Sanzo followed up his words by nipping at his ear lobe. When Sanzo snuck his hand between Goku's skin and his boxers, he squeaked. He let out a loud moan when Sanzo began stroking him.
He gripped the sheets and arched his back, silently cursing the fact that he had no clean underwear left when Sanzo made him come. He suspected that Sanzo knew. This was probably his way of giving Goku pleasure and punishing him at the same time.
He hauled himself up on his knees and asked, "What do ya want me ta do?"
Sanzo pushed Goku's head down toward his crotch. He already had a noticeable hard-on. "Suck it," he said, leaning back and pulling down his jeans.
Goku quickly complied. He pushed Sanzo's ever-present black undershirt up and slid his mouth over Sanzo's cock, teasing the tip before swallowing it all the way down.
That was the signal for Sanzo to dig his fingers into Goku's scalp, a couple of them hitting his golden power limiter. He pushed down on Goku's head, encouraging him to take him in deeper, and moaned while Goku licked his cock all over.
Goku flicked his tongue at particularly sensitive spots he'd discovered and heard a strangled gasp in reply. Sanzo pushed on the back of his head hard enough to make it bob up and down. Sanzo's cock hit the back of his throat and nearly choked him, but he didn't let up or complain. He could tell that Sanzo was already close from the way he flung his head back and squeezed his eyes shut while panting and thrusting erratically.
Semen gushed into Goku's mouth. He swallowed and smiled. He wanted to give Sanzo a kiss, but he knew that Sanzo didn't like to taste himself on Goku's tongue.
Sanzo gave him a light slap on his rump. "Come on, monkey, I want to get an early start."
As he dressed carefully to hide the wet spot on his boxers, Goku thought about how Sanzo had been gentler than usual, yet he had also made it clear that he was upset with Goku for not being there last night. He had no idea how he was going to make Gojyo's advice work.
* * *
It was a hot, dusty day in a hot, dusty desert. Goku had thought that they were even after he'd given Sanzo head first thing that morning, but it seemed like Sanzo was still pissed. Goku wasn't sure if it was about his not being there when Sanzo wanted him the night before or something else. For all he knew, the "something else" could have nothing to do with him. Sanzo was kinda peculiar that way.
Jeep couldn't travel very fast over the bumpy, rocky landscape and kept overheating. Between the slow pace and the frequent stops, they weren't making good time. By mid-afternoon, it was clear that would have to camp out that night.
Sanzo's mood went from bad to worse. He threatened Gojyo with the Smith & Wesson when he suggested playing cards after dinner, reminding him that he'd been caught cheating the last time they played. Even Gojyo's pointing out that Hakkai had won, as always, didn't get him to put the gun away.
Goku was quieter than usual, but Gojyo didn't tease him about it the way he usually would. Maybe he was tired of Sanzo waving a gun in his face. Instead, he tried to whisper something to Goku, who thought that maybe Gojyo felt sorry for him.
* * *
Goku's nerves were getting the better of him after dinner. He and Sanzo rarely fucked when they camped out. Sanzo had a thing about having walls between them and the others preferably more than one set of walls. But Goku was afraid that he'd lose his courage if he waited.
They had set up the tents, which were big enough to sleep two. Gojyo and Hakkai were using one, and he and Sanzo the other. By silent agreement, that was the way things worked most times these days, whether they were sleeping indoors or outdoors. Usually, Goku would be content with the warmth radiating from Sanzo as he curled up next to him, their bodies nearly touching.
He opened up the two bedrolls and joined them the way he'd seen Gojyo and Hakkai do it. That way, it would be like him and Sanzo were sharing one big bed, not two smaller ones. He'd borrowed some saké from Hakkai's secret stash and even had a small cup for Sanzo to use. Alcohol made him loopy, so he wasn't going to drink. He needed to be at his best tonight.
He arranged himself in the middle of the bedrolls and waited. His heart was in his mouth when Sanzo pushed the tent flap back and bent over so he could enter.
Sanzo stopped dead in his tracks, still bent over. As he straightened up with a groan, he snapped, "What's gotten into you, monkey?" He glared pointedly at the combined bedrolls.
"I-I-I thought it'd be nice ta lie together! Ya know, w-w-warmer."
Sanzo's eyes narrowed. "You think we're going to fuck tonight? You're a simple-minded monkey, as well as a stupid one." He yanked the bedrolls apart, causing Goku to roll over, and began making his up over in the corner, as far away from Goku as he could get. Goku watched him, miserable.
"Can't I take care of ya?" Goku burst out.
Sanzo turned around and stared at him. "What the fuck do you mean?"
Goku wrapped his arms around his knees, curling into himself while still maintaining eye contact. "Ya know. Make you feel good."
Sanzo laughed harshly and turned around so his back was to Goku again. "Idiot. I wouldn't do it if it didn't feel good."
A little at a loss for what to say, Goku watched, fascinated, as Sanzo bent over to smooth out the bedroll. He straightened up, pummeled his pillow into the shape he liked, and dropped it on top of the bedroll. Goku often wondered why dropping the pillow didn't mess it up again. He figured it didn't dare for fear of being shot and exploding into a storm of feathers.
He let out a small sigh. It was extra embarrassing to talk to Sanzo about this stuff. "I mean, let me take the lead. The uh " He struggled for a moment to remember the word Hakkai had used. "The initiative."
Sanzo wheeled around. "So that's what's going on -- you want to fuck me?" He frowned. "Where did you get this monkey-brained idea, anyway?" He balled his fists and looked like he was about to run outside and tear down the other tent. "Those idiots!" he huffed.
Goku uncurled himself and grabbed Sanzo's robe to keep him from dashing outside. No matter how wrong things were going, it wouldn't be fair to let Sanzo take it out on Hakkai and Gojyo because he'd asked them for advice.
Sanzo started to turn red, and Goku thought he could see the vein in his forehead throbbing. "Get your hands off of me!" he hissed, and pushed him away.
Goku crumpled to the ground, twisting his knee. Sanzo glared at him for a few more seconds, panting heavily, then stalked over to his bedroll and began undressing with his back to Goku. He slid into his bedroll still wearing the black undershirt and jeans.
Goku could smell a faint aroma of arousal, but Sanzo didn't do anything about it that he could tell and his senses were keen enough that he could tell. What with the pain in his knee and the pain in his heart, sleep took its sweet time coming. Mostly, he wondered what he'd done to upset Sanzo so much that he didn't want to be near him.
* * *
The following morning, Sanzo took Hakkai aside and spoke to him before breakfast. The rest of the day, he threatened Gojyo and Goku with his gun, rather than the fan, no matter how small the offense. By the end of the day, they were still a long way from the next town.
Goku was relieved that Sanzo silently helped him put up their tent, since that meant he was going to share it with him. But his hope of trying to fix things came to an end when Sanzo spread his bedroll over in the corner, as far away as he could get.
Goku rolled himself up in a miserable ball and barely slept all night. He spent most of the day sleeping while they traveled, despite all the bumps they hit, and for once, Gojyo let him be.
The next night, after they reached a town with an inn, Goku approached Gojyo and Hakkai again. Things had gone badly wrong with the last piece of advice he'd received, but he didn't have anywhere else to turn.
"Got any ideas, Hakkai?" Gojyo asked. 'Cause I'm shit outta ways to get our high and mighty monk to act more like a lover than a fighter."
"Ahaha," Hakkai said. "Sanzo asked me to stop giving Goku advice."
"I bet that's not how he put it," Gojyo said.
Hakkai glanced at Goku and then looked away. "No," he said softly. "He put it more vulgarly than that, but there's no need for me to embarrass us all by repeating it."
"That balding prick!" Gojyo exclaimed. "So he doesn't think there's a problem?"
Hakkai adjusted his monocle and folded his hands. "He doesn't know there's a problem. It may be that the only solution is to talk to him."
Goku, who was feeling a little left out, piped up. "But how do I do that? He's not easy to talk to!"
Hakkai nodded. "Try to catch him in a good mood and just speak from the heart, directly and simply."
"What makes you think that'll work?" Gojyo asked, skeptically.
Hakkai shrugged. "I don't know if it will work," he admitted. "But what else is left?"
* * *
Usually, Goku's stomach clenched because he was hungry. He was hungry tonight, too, but he could hardly tell, because his stomach also clenched from nerves. He was so nervous that he dropped his chopsticks and got whacked with the fan for it not fair. Thinking about who had just hit him made his stomach clench tighter. Other parts of him sprang to life and clenched, too.
"What's the matter with you, monkey?" Sanzo's question broke into a daydream about Sanzo whacking him with the fan while he was pouring his heart out to him.
He lifted one shoulder in response. "Nothin'," he said, shortly. Gojyo and Hakkai concentrated on their food and studiously avoided looking at either of them.
Sanzo eyed Goku's plate. Three meat buns remained on it, plus rice and some barbecued beef. "Doesn't look like nothing to me," he observed. Goku heaved a sigh of relief when Sanzo returned to eating his own dinner.
They ate mostly in silence for the rest of the meal, Sanzo occasionally sneaking looks at each of them in turn, as if he thought something was weird, but not saying anything about it. Goku knew how much he appreciated quiet how could he not, considering all the times Sanzo had yelled at him back at the temple for being too loud so maybe Sanzo was just taking advantage of it.
Sanzo raised an eyebrow when Goku only had one slice of cake and one scoop of ice cream. As they finished their dessert, Goku felt like a condemned man walking to the gallows. His insides felt all squishy, yet heavy. His heart was pounding so hard, he thought for sure that Sanzo, who was sitting next to him, could hear it.
"Excuse us," Hakkai said, politely. "We're going to sit in the bar and maybe play some cards."
Sanzo opened his mouth to say something, but when Goku said, "'M goin' back to the room to get some shuteye," he shut it.
"I'll go finish the newspaper I started reading before dinner," Sanzo said.
Goku knew he'd been acting weird, and it looked like Sanzo wanted to keep an eye on him or to talk to him in private. It wasn't like he'd planned on acting weird enough to worry Sanzo, but it might be just as well if it got him the conversation with Sanzo he wanted. Trouble was, he still didn't know exactly what to say or how to say it. He didn't want to sound like he was complaining, but wasn't that what he was doing, kinda?
This sex and love thing sure was a pain. He was beginning to see why Sanzo had been against it at first. He knew he'd wait a long time probably forever for Sanzo to tell him how he felt, even though he was almost as sure of Sanzo's feelings as he was of his own.
Goku walked down the hallway to their room, Sanzo trailing a few steps behind. He tried not to feel self-conscious, but he couldn't help but hear the soft footfalls and swishing robes behind him, or smell the heady scent of sandalwood soap, cigarettes, beer, and musk that meant both "home" and "Sanzo." They were one and the same to him.
Goku waited for Sanzo to unlock the door. When he did it, he got all fumble-fingered with it and annoyed the snot out of Sanzo, so he didn't bother anymore. He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth so he wouldn't have to later he couldn't try to kiss Sanzo without brushing his teeth and to delay things just a little longer to give himself more time to think. But his mind was still empty of good ideas on how to handle this.
When he came back out, Sanzo had stashed the sutra and pulled the top of his robes down. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, smoking a cigarette and reading the newspaper. Only the fact that he didn't move his eyes and that the newspaper stayed rooted in the same spot made it obvious that the newspaper was just a front.
He caught Goku staring at him, folded the paper, and placed it on the bed next to him. He puffed on his cigarette, removed it, and said, "You want to tell me what's on your mind, monkey?"
Goku thought about stammering, "N-n-nothin'," but he didn't think that would work twice. Besides, it was time for him to man up and talk. "Uh" he said.
"You want to be on top? Is that it?"
This was going to be an interesting conversation if Sanzo was going to bring everything up himself. "No," Goku said. "Well, yeah, someday, but"
"Fine," Sanzo said. "Why not now?"
It took a few seconds for the words to sink in. "Ya mean it?" he asked. Sanzo's lips said "yes," but his body language said "no." His shoulders were hunched in together, he was turned slightly away from Goku, and he had a skeptical look on his face.
Sanzo scoffed. "When do I say things I don't mean?"
Lots of times, but not something positive something good. It was more Sanzo's style to issue a put-down because something made him uncomfortable, not because he didn't like or want it.
"Come over here, monkey," Sanzo said, patting the bed. "This is a limited time offer."
It didn't involve talking, but Goku was willing to take what he could get and not push his luck any further. He cautiously scrambled over to the other bed, put his arms around Sanzo, and began kissing him. Sanzo was thin enough that he could almost wrap his arms all the way around him.
Sanzo moaned deep in his throat as his lips parted and Goku's tongue pushed into and explored his mouth. He shifted, and Goku moved his hands to Sanzo's sides to keep him in place. Goku nearly groaned himself. Just kissing Sanzo was making him hard.
Sanzo must be really getting into it, because he pushed back with his tongue. He tangled his fingers in Goku's hair and --
Oh, no. It was starting again: the harsh kisses; the insistent push-pull. Why did it always have to be a competition?
Goku reluctantly broke away, held the sides of Sanzo's face so he couldn't rush things again, and said, "Hey, Sanzo, can we take it slower and more gentle?"
Instead of getting mad, like Goku expected, Sanzo just looked confused. Goku added, hoping that his words wouldn't set Sanzo off, "It doesn't always hafta be a competition between us, ya know. This isn't something that ya win at."
Sanzo frowned. Oh, shit. He'd pushed too far, and Sanzo would never want him in his bed again.
Sanzo said, slowly, "We're going too fast for you, monkey?"
"A change is nice, sometimes," Goku said diplomatically. "Like this." He hesitantly swiped around Sanzo's now-closed mouth and slowly pushed his tongue in when the lips parted. He wandered around the inside of Sanzo's mouth, enjoying the taste and feel of him.
He could feel Sanzo's chest heaving and hear his breath hitching. Then Sanzo pulled away and said, "That's different from what we've been doing?"
Goku was tempted to say, "Moron," but that was more Sanzo's thing. It might sound like he was making fun of him if he said it back to him. He also noticed that Sanzo was talking in terms of "we," not "I." As long as he got the idea, Goku didn't care if he made it sound like it was something both of them were doing.
"Yes," Goku said, quietly but firmly. "It's different. It's good to mix things up sometimes."
"Huh." Sanzo bent over and captured Goku's lips. He did his best to imitate what Goku had done to him, parting his lips and swirling his tongue inside Goku's mouth in long, slow sweeps, applying only a little pressure. Goku moaned and pushed back slightly against the hands wrapped around the back of his neck.
As he began to remove Sanzo's clothes, Goku was struck by a sudden realization. Maybe the problem all along hadn't been that Sanzo didn't want to be gentle. Maybe the problem was that he didn't know how.
Maybe all he needed was for Goku to teach him.