Title: A Momentary Respite
Disclaimer: The rights to Saiyuki and its characters belong to Kazuya Minekura and her publishers, not me. No profit is being made from this.
Warnings: Light bondage (two different kinds, sequentially), m/m sex, profanity, saccharine sweetness. Not beta reviewed; all mistakes are mine.
Prompt: November 9th, Saiyuki, Gojyo/Hakkai: tied up - letting go.
Word Count: approximately 3700
Summary: Hakkai neglects his own needs when others in the group are injured, so Gojyo takes matters into his own hands.
A/N: I never expected this story to be this long. I began with a more conventional approach to the prompt that didn't get very far until I switched things around. I didn't realize until yesterday that today is Gojyo's birthday. Given the way the story unfolds, that seems highly appropriate. I hope you enjoy it.
"Gojyo, what are you doing?" Hakkai asks when the bed sinks as Gojyo leans forward to reach underneath it.
Gojyo heaves an annoyed sigh. Hakkai has been up all night using his chi to heal and tend to their injuries as best he can, but for all the care he takes of everyone else, he often pushes himself until he collapses from sheer exhaustion. Gojyo is sick of this self-sacrificing bullshit of his and has vowed not to let him push beyond his limits again.
"You need to rest awhile. You're gonna wear yourself out."
"I don't need taking care of, Gojyo, really. I know my limits," Hakkai says, although the bags under his eyes belie his words.
"Like they say, doctors are the worst patients."
"I am not a patient in need of care," Hakkai says, his voice rising in volume, "and I am not a physician."
Gojyo snorts. How like Hakkai to argue about terminology. "Healer, doctor, same difference."
"I do not need tending to but others do -- and what do you think you're doing?" Hakkai sputters as Gojyo binds him to the bed with the sash he left lying beneath it while Hakkai showered.
* * *
It hadn't taken much to persuade Hakkai to take a quick shower to refresh himself after spending the night tending to Sanzo's broken ribs, Goku's concussion, and Gojyo's wounds. Upon his return to the room afterward, Gojyo suggests a massage, but Hakkai turns him down.
"I need to get back to Sanzo and Goku. Besides, you hardly have the training to perform massage."
Gojyo is ready to counter Hakkai's objections. "I'll only massage you from the waist up," he says, his voice pleading as he attempts to cajole Hakkai into acquiescence with his plan.
"You could make matters worse and not better."
Gojyo realizes that reciting testimonials from women he's slept with will not help matters, but Hakkai has experienced the wonders of less extensive Sha Gojyo massages before. He just needs a reminder. "That hasn't stopped you from asking me to massage your feet--"
"That's entirely different from what you're proposing," Hakkai cuts in, abandoning his usual polite mask.
"--Or shoulders," Gojyo continues, heedless of the interruption. "C'mon, Hakkai, let me do this for you. You'll be no good to the rest of us if you wear yourself out trying to help us, and you'll make us feel like shit for being the cause of it. Well, me and the monkey, anyway."
"You may massage my shoulders, then. Just my shoulders, and only for a few minutes. I don't want your wounds to open up and I do need to get back to Sanzo and Goku."
Gojyo can't let that statement go unchallenged. "They're minor cuts, not wounds. Lie down."
Hakkai looks at him searchingly. "Why can't I sit?"
Gojyo wonders if Hakkai thinks he's using the massage as a come on. He certainly wouldn't mind engaging in a more intimate form of touch, as he sincerely believes that sexual contact has healing properties, but that truly isn't his motivation. If Hakkai wants it, he would be elated if this led to something more, but he's not expecting it. Despite what a certain high and mighty blond monk thinks, he isn't obsessed with sex; he just happens to be good at it and enjoy it.
"Because it's easier for your muscles to relax and easier for me to get at them," Gojyo replies patiently. "Now lie down," he adds in as commanding a voice as he can muster. He's not used to ordering Hakkai around. If anything, Hakkai usually tells him what to do, albeit in the politest of terms and tone.
Hakkai removes his tunic and the long-sleeved tee he wears underneath it and slowly stretches out on his stomach. Gojyo retrieves the hand lotion, figuring that using the lubricant they share might increase whatever suspicions Hakkai has about his intentions. He doesn't want Hakkai to be any more suspicious than he already is because he hasn't been entirely honest with him in the first place. He's going to make Hakkai rest and relax no matter what. Hence the presence of the sash under the bed.
The sash was filched from the clean laundry at great personal risk, as it belongs to Sanzo-sama, who uses it to fasten his robes. He has other similar sashes, but still, there'd be hell to pay if he catches Gojyo with it, especially if he finds out the use to which it is being put.
Gojyo leans forward and looks underneath the bed for the end of the sash. Holding it carefully in his left hand so he will neither drop nor reveal it, he straddles Hakkai's legs and feels around with his right hand for the other end, which he'd tucked between the bed and the wall earlier. While he is doing this, his forehead wrinkles in concentration so as not to alert Hakkai that Something Is Definitely Wrong.
Hakkai sputters and struggles while he ties the sash in a knot, testing it to make sure it will hold. Gojyo tries to soothe him by stroking his back but it does no good. He moves his hands to pin Hakkai more firmly underneath him, telling him, "I remember how you collapsed the last time you had to tend to all three of us. I swore to myself afterward that I'd never let you get to that point again, even if I had to tie you down. So stop being all fucking self-sacrificing and noble and let me take care of you for a change."
He closes his eyes while he speaks; whether he is concentrating on his words or trying to avoid witnessing Hakkai's discomfort is not clear. Once he opens them again, he realizes Hakkai's neck is centimeters away from his face. If he breathes hard enough, he can make the short wisps of hair at the nape of Hakkai's neck sway like stubby trees in a gentle wind. Strands of his own crimson hair hang down, brushing Hakkai's shoulders. He'll have to do something about that; tickling Hakkai with his hair isn't part of his plan.
"Gojyo--" Hakkai says warningly.
"Do I haveta knock you out?" Gojyo asks in exasperation. "Or are you gonna settle down and let me do this?"
Hakkai sighs in resignation. He has no desire to hurt Gojyo as he would have to in order to throw him off and remove the binding. They're fairly evenly matched; he has the advantage in guile and strategy but Gojyo has the advantage in raw strength, so there is every likelihood he'll hurt himself in a struggle as well. Then he really would be useless to the rest of them.
"How long are you planning on keeping me captive like this?" he asks, wincing a bit from the pressure.
"I dunno. An hour should be enough, don'tcha think? His Crankiness and Monkey Butt should be able to hang on that long without you fussing over them." In fact, at least one of them probably prefers to be left alone and not fussed over, but he doesn't voice that thought. Hakkai had only agreed to leave the two who were more seriously hurt when he did because they were finally sleeping without tossing and turning in pained discomfort every few minutes.
Hakkai wills his muscles to unclench and relax, his body yielding to the force of gravity and the grip Gojyo has on him. Gojyo responds by letting up on the pressure pinning him to the bed as he senses the tension in the man's body dissipating.
Gojyo sits up, his knees and legs continuing to hem Hakkai in, and fumbles around for something with which to tie his hair. He winds up grabbing a thin strand of rawhide he often uses for this purpose. Arching his back slightly, he gathers his hair into a ponytail and ties it back.
He hears a ghost of a sigh from Hakkai. He'd better get on with it before Hakkai grows impatient to return to the others. The longer he waits, the colder his muscles will get, and then he'll have to work even harder to soothe the tension out of them, possibly pushing too hard and doing more harm than good.
He takes his shirt off and places it on Hakkai's bare back for now to keep him warm. With the effort he'll be expending, his tank top should be warm enough, and he has more freedom of movement without the shirt.
He reaches over for the lotion, squeezing a dollop in one hand and rubbing it in until it is evenly dispersed and skin temperature. It won't do for him to startle Hakkai with cold lotion.
He starts at Hakkai's neck, massaging as deeply as he thinks he can without hurting him. He uses long smooth strokes on each side of the neck and uses his knuckles to press on each vertebrae. What he is doing is a form of healing too. He's not using chi exactly, at least not in the same form or to the same degree as Hakkai, but it takes concentration and an awareness of the physical state and responses of the person he is massaging.
He's leaning so far forward that his torso practically touches Hakkai's back. The heat radiating from his body helps keep Hakkai's back warm.
As he massages, he whispers, "Let go.. Relax…" over and over again like a mantra. It feels a little ridiculous but he notices that Hakkai tenses up when he stops, so he keeps repeating it. He stores that piece of information in the back of his mind to think about later.
The tension in Hakkai's neck subsides as he frees up the vertebrae. He rubs along the cord of tendons running down the side of his neck, releasing tension within the muscles to which they are attached, and hears Hakkai sigh contentedly.
He pours another dot of lotion into his palm and works it into his hands, then begins working on his friend's shoulders, starting across the top and into the sternum. Then he works on the right arm, moving and stretching it. Next he works on the left arm. The right arm is tenser and tighter, which makes sense, as Hakkai is right-handed and uses his right arm more.
Hakkai shifts a bit underneath him. "Are you uncomfortable?" he asks with concern.
"No," Hakkai responds. "I just need to change position a little, that's all."
Gojyo isn't sure whether to accept that at face value but he doesn't say anything. After all, it's possible that Hakkai is tired of staying in the same position for so long. But from then on he keeps his eye out for any more signs of discomfort.
He folds the shirt covering Hakkai's back over, exposing the expanse of skin there. As he works, he notices every little ripple in Hakkai's spine, every dip and discoloration. Although the scar from the wound Chin Yisou inflicted is on Hakkai's abdomen, other members of Hyakugan Maoh's clan he encountered prior to reaching his beleaguered sister-lover attacked his back, and a few left tiny scars. Gojyo is suddenly seized with an impulse to kiss them but refrains. He doesn't want to make this any more uncomfortable or weird for Hakkai than it already is, given that he has manipulated him into this.
Hakkai takes in long, deep breaths and lets them out equally slowly. Gojyo kneads the knots and pressure points in his shoulders and back, working his way downward with care and precision.
Now Hakkai is breathing more loudly, to the point where it sounds more like panting. "You all right, Hakkai?" Gojyo asks.
Hakkai turns his head slightly to the side to look at him. His emerald eyes are soft but slightly dazed. "I'm fine," he mumbles. "Thank you for asking."
But the knot in his lower back tells Gojyo otherwise. "Look, if this is uncomfortable, I'll stop," he tells him. All the signs point to a different kind of discomfort, however.
Hakkai looks slightly panicked. "Don't stop now," he replies. So the reluctant patient is no longer so reluctant.
Gojyo whispers, "Let me check something out, 'Kai, okay?" and slips a hand underneath him. Hakkai bucks a little at the touch. The massage, while relieving muscular tension in other parts of his body, has increased it in one strategic location .
Gojyo holds his hand there to see if Hakkai wants to push back against his hand but after a couple of shallow thrusts Hakkai lays still. Gojyo unties the sash and rolls Hakkai over onto his back. "So no hand job," Gojyo notes. "Blow job instead?"
As he begins to remove the rest of Hakkai's clothing, Hakkai lifts his arms above his head and brings his wrists together. "Bind my hands, please," he whispers.
This was taking things farther than Gojyo had expected, but he was nothing if not adaptable. Gratified that Hakkai is entrusting himself to him this way, he quickly retrieves the sash and winds it around Hakkai's wrists, pinning his arms above his head. He looks at his friend, really looks at him, and thinks, not for the first time, how damn fine he looks.
Hakkai adds, "I want you inside me."
Gojyo feels his cock twitch as he looks at his friend lying there splayed out and needy, waiting to feel his cock pressing inside him.
He undoes his pants and flings them and his underwear in a heap on the floor. The lotion is as good as anything to use as lube; he's not about to get up and risk ruining the mood. He alternates pouring lotion on his hand with feathery touches to Hakkai's inner thighs, then rubs his palms together to disperse the lotion again.
He crawls forward, tracing those enticing nipples jutting in the cool air on his way to caressing Hakkai's earlobes with his tongue. He enjoys living dangerously - living with Hakkai all those years is proof - so he grips the three metal clamps that hold youkai Hakkai in check with his lips and gives them a longing lick. He feels a thrum surge through him. If his reaction is any guide, Hakkai feels something strange too. His eyes widen in surprise and then he jolts upward, almost violently. When his movement subsides, he stares at Gojyo almost fearfully.
"Whatcha thinking?" Gojyo asks.
Hakkai is silent at first. "That feels…weird," he finally says. "I felt a moment of exceptional clarity and then it felt like I was short-circuiting. Maybe it's the moisture in your tongue touching the limiters that causes it, like what happens when you lick a battery to test its charge."
"Hey, sorry, man. I didn't mean to hurt you."
Hakkai examines him intently. "It wasn't painful, just…a bit strange and disorienting. It was no more painful than, umm, say, what one experiences just before climax. Kind of like electrical stimulation, if you've ever had that."
"No," Gojyo purrs, "but it sounds kinky."
"Oh hell, Gojyo" - Gojyo's eyes widen in surprise; Hakkai hardly ever swears, unlike him and Bitchy Robes - "they're machines used for pain relief while treating soft tissue injuries. Not kinky at all, really."
Just for good measure, Gojyo nibbles and licks that left earlobe again. This time they both start at the sensation. Gojyo leans in and Hakkai parts his lips to let him in. The electrical surge or whatever it is lingers on Gojyo's tongue. They both feel a tingling sensation when their tongues meet, looping and arching around each other in a perfect symphony of need, longing, and affection.
As their erections rub against each other, Gojyo notices the precum dribbling from his partner. He reluctantly removes his lips from Hakkai's, leaving a trail of noisy wet kisses down his torso as he carefully pushes a finger inside, searching for the spot that would make Hakkai arch in pleasure. When he finds it, he slowly pulls out and goes back in, making sure to press that magical spot each time.
Hakkai moans louder each time. "Ungh…ungh," he sputters. Knowing that he's bound and at Gojyo's mercy is an unbelievable and almost unbearable turn on that can only be satiated when Gojyo's cock is buried deep inside him.
He wonders when Gojyo became so indispensable to him. When did he fall in love with his red-headed half-blood roommate? Their personalities and habits are almost polar opposites. Any outside observer would predict that they would part ways before long. Sanzo himself had said as much at the beginning. But they wound up living together for three years without killing each other until Sanzo dragged them and Goku along with him on this godforsaken journey.
While Gojyo repeats his prior actions with two fingers instead of one, Hakkai reflects that he wasn't in love at the time of their first sexual encounter, when he went to Gojyo out of sheer lust and want. He needed to feel like all of him mattered to someone else. He didn't care if it was a pity fuck and trusted Gojyo with his body the way he'd trusted him with his life when he was healing from his wounds.
Before that, he'd resisted the urge for a long time, at first because it felt like a betrayal of Kanan, then because he wasn't comfortable with wanting another man that way, and finally because he expected Gojyo to lash out and call him a pervert for approaching him. But he'd eventually ignored his fears and that first time was good enough that there were more. Too many to remember, actually, not that it's important.
How many times they've done this seems supremely unimportant now as he tosses his head back and arches off the bed. "Finish up, Gojyo, please," he begs, whining, almost, though Gojyo will tell you Hakkai never whines. If Gojyo doesn't hurry up, he'll come, and while the release would be welcome, it won't be as satisfying as it would be if Gojyo were inside him.
Gojyo heeds Hakkai's plea and just teases with the third digit. Rubbing lotion over his cock, now slick with precum as well, he slides his hands underneath Hakkai's ass and thighs and thrusts into Hakkai's velvety heat. He encounters little resistance, but Hakkai still feels tight and warm and inviting. As his cock hits the same sensitive spot as his fingers did, he feels Hakkai's pelvic muscles squeeze like a vise as Hakkai arches off the bed again. His cock is squeezed even more when Hakkai wraps his legs around his waist and uses the leverage to bring their bodies closer together.
He pulls out and goes back in, increasing the tempo until they are thrusting against each other. The bed creaks in time with the sound of skin slapping against skin, their balls aching. Gojyo is so close to coming he can practically taste it. He wraps a hand around Hakkai's erection and pulls himself down for a kiss, trapping Hakkai's cock between them.
The pressure of Gojyo's hand and the weight of his body prove too much. Strands of come spurt all over Gojyo's abdomen as Hakkai's orgasm washes over him, his eyes closed, head thrashing from side to side, face glowing.
Even though simultaneous orgasms are a laughable cliché, Gojyo follows him into oblivion shortly thereafter, come squirting deep into the heat of his lover's body. He lovingly traces the scar on Hakkai's abdomen and places a kiss there.
Hakkai recovers and asks, "What are you doing?"
"I can tell that. What I meant was why are you kissing me there?"
"Because I love all of you, even the parts you hide and think are ugly. Even your youkai side."
Hakkai knows he should believe this, and at some deep subconscious level maybe he does, but he still feels shame over his transformation and the reason for it. "I have no youkai side, as you put it. I am youkai. The limiters just mask it."
Gojyo smirks, prepared to love him into submission until he accepts himself for what he is. "You're just Hakkai. You're as human as the next person, and you're the guy I fell in love with without planning on it." Maybe he's said too much, but he wants to give Hakkai this reassurance.
Hakkai gives him a small but genuine smile. It's good to feel loved as well as to love. Gojyo may be overestimating how much of him is still human, but it feels good to be overestimated.
"C'mon," Gojyo says as he unties Hakkai's wrists. "I'll get a washcloth and clean us up so you can go take care of Cherry-chan and his monkey sidekick."
Just as he stands up to walk into the adjoining bathroom, several loud raps echo on the door and an irritable voice says, "Fuck it, Hakkai, where's the coffee and my newspaper?"
"I'll be there in just a minute," Hakkai answers. "I just need to wash up a bit. And you're not supposed to be out of bed yet." Not that telling him that ever stops Sanzo from overextending himself, broken ribs be damned.
"Yeah, well, make sure you show up soon," Sanzo grumbles in his raspy first-thing-in-the-morning voice. "I need the fucking caffeine. The monkey's giving me a headache."
"Ah, Goku is awake?" Hakkai asks as Gojyo quickly wipes him down.
"Yes, and as much of a fucking nuisance as ever. He's looking for his breakfast and the dinner he missed last night while he was knocked out."
Hakkai dresses hurriedly. Gojyo touches him lightly on his hip and tells him he'll bring breakfast to the sickroom as he retreats to the bathroom, sash in hand, to stay out of Sanzo's sight when the door opens. The touch might not be a kiss but it will have to do.
Hakkai opens the door and smiles at Sanzo in genuine pleasure, refreshed and ready to tend to his patients. He looks happier and more carefree than he has in weeks - months, even - as if a great weight has been lifted off his shoulders.
As he walks gingerly back to his room, Hakkai trailing behind him, Sanzo wonders if the idiot redhead has something to do with Hakkai's demeanor. Even fucking annoying perverted kappas might prove useful on this trip after all.