Of Green Things
Author: Laura Bryannan
Summary: Sanzo faces some human realities.
It wasn't like he was jealous, because he sure as hell wasn't. His three traveling companions kept their distance and he had no problem with that. He told himself it was simple shock that kept the bothersome thoughts swarming in his brain like so many gnats. The horny, very heterosexual kappa had apparently decided that Hakkai was more desirable than the myriad hookers and floozies he could pick up at the taverns they passed along their way. Not that Sanzo didn't understand the appeal, but the way it rankled was a new and discomfiting emotion he had no experience with and thus it angered him immensely.
His virginal state had never bothered him before now. If anything, it gave him a sense of superiority, of being far above those who catered to their baser human needs. Of course, he'd had plenty of offers to fix that little problem growing up, but he'd sneered at all who approached and knew they whispered the stick up his ass left no room for cock anyway. What did he care? It was distasteful to be approached sexually and he disliked being forced to push another away. So why did the fact that Gojyo and Hakkai were fucking piss him off so much?
The way they looked at each other, the sidelong glances, imperceptibly raised brows and cloaked smiles. It bugged the shit out of him. And the sounds at night were enough to make him want to tear his hair out in an attempt to obliterate the deeper ache he could not confront. He did not need them. He did not need anything, and certainly not that! He chanted it like a mantra and sometimes it even worked, distracting him from the joyous sounds ever emanating from the next room.
Daylight hours brought a certain level of sanity. He could explore the situation rationally but continued to find it puzzling. Hakkai, who had loved a woman to such great extent he became demon after avenging her, and Gojyo, who sussed the potential of every female crossing his path, had turned to each other for...what? Sex certainly, but there was something disturbingly more about it that Sanzo could not fathom. Sure, two men could fuck, but those two? And who was doing the fucking? Sanzo couldn't tell when he could stand to listen, which made the situation even more disturbing as it brought him closer to the truth of the matter.
Why not him? If they were hot for men too, why had he not been approached? His beauty had always insured that those who wanted him made their desires known, so did they not desire him? It was a wounding he had never experienced, the pain of it unlessened by the usual meditative techniques. It caused him to be even more snappish with his companions, his harisen suffering great abuse, which unfortunately did nothing to assail the leering green monster haunting his existence.
Spending time alone with one or the other became the ultimate torture. Instead of his usual who-gives-a-shit self he felt as though his desires were screaming from every pore, and he cursed the hungry self-consciousness overwhelming him any time one of their bodies was near. Hot, sweaty, his heart pounding—their scents were different but had the same startling, uncontrollable effect. He felt as though he were going mad, needing something to happen but unable to take the step himself.
Genjyo Sanzo had never approached another human for anything in his life. What his beloved master had given he'd happily taken, but beggars are never choosers. You did for yourself and counted on no one. That was his experience as a being, not just his faith. So, to reach out was an impossibility, beyond his ken or experience. The mere thought of such an action filled him with fear and doubt, for he could not articulate what he wanted from them. They appeared to have each other, so it seemed foolish to intrude on their relationship.
So abject was his misery, he paid no attention when Gojyo sat down to light one up rather than take himself elsewhere as he usually did. His scent entered Sanzo's awareness first—the slightly musty, lakewater smell of the tall redhead—and Sanzo's skin prickled.
"Hey Sanzo," Gojyo began, "ya sure been uptight lately. 'S everything alright?"
"I'm fine," Sanzo stated flatly, puffing madly. "Leave me alone."
Hakkai and monkey boy strode into view. "We're off to town," Hakkai announced.
"Later!" called Goku.
"Later," Gojyo replied. Sanzo watched the red eyes follow Hakkai's ass, then saw Gojyo bite his lower lip in a way that seemed either vulnerable or frighteningly thoughtful, and Sanzo's groin tightened. Suddenly anger flared supernova into new awareness. Yes, I'm jealous! Why isn't he looking at me like that? Am I so obnoxious? So repulsive? Why did he turn to Hakkai and not to me?
"Hey Sanzo," came a quiet voice, startling him out of his self-abusive inner rantings. He looked up to see the familiar, handsome face eying him bemusedly. "Ya know man, you really gotta get laid."
off," Sanzo huffed, certain the perceptive kappa could hear his heart
Gojyu shrugged, taking another drag off his cigarette. "How long since you been in some lovin' arms?"
"I'm familiar with my hand," came the haughty reply. "What's the difference?"
The redhead snorted. "The only person who would say that is someone whose
Unpleasant memories threw the habitual barriers back into place, regaining Sanzo's icy calm. "Men stick their cocks into any hole that comes their way. Why should I feel honored if someone wants to stick it in me?"
"Who said anything about sticking it in you?" Gojyo retorted with a sly wink.
Sanzo's guts lurched and he stared, dumbfounded, unsure his ears were reporting correctly. Finally, he closed his mouth and hissed, "What the fuck are you saying?"
Gojyo glanced around. "The Smith & Wesson's inside, right?" Seeing it was so, he continued. "Look, it doesn't have to be about sticking it anywhere. It could just be about...." He leaned forward, reaching into the silky blond hair to pull the startled monk close. Gentle, warm lips traced Sanzo's brow, sending shivers cascading as they trailed lower to tickle his eyelashes. His touch-starved body leaned into into the others' without willing it, the sigh escaping unawares.
His slackened jaw was taken advantage of and Sanzo feasted instinctively on the mouth offered, reveling in the sensations the delightful play sent coursing through him. Every time their tongues touched it felt as though a bolt of electricity shot down his spine. He opened his mouth wider to allow deeper penetration, Gojyo's moans causing a delirious sense of intoxication, feeling as though he might be drowning in sweetness. It was wonderful but terrifying, and Sanzo tried unsuccessfully to keep his emotions in check.
Realizing that the fingers caressing his face were trembling sent his heart soaring—the possibility that Gojyo was also feeling vulnerable never entering his consciousness until that moment. Sanzo remained incredulous, but clung to the heady sense of power it brought to keep his sanity intact. Breaking their embrace, he pushed the kappa away enough to study his face. Gojyo blinked, looking kiss-drunk, "Changing your mind? Che! Too good to be true, I knew it."
Sanzo almost laughed out loud, giddy from the flattery but still unbelieving. "You want me? This isn't alms?"
Gojyu chuckled. "Want you? Holy fuck, Sanzo. You're the most beautiful human I've ever met. Unfortunately, you're also the biggest prick I've ever met, so it's seemed safer to stay outta reach."
"Why now?" Sanzo demanded to know.
"Maybe it's started to feel dishonest," Gojyo replied. "And me and Hakkai thought...."
"You and Hakkai discussed this?" Sanzo interrupted, his heart frozen, humiliation befouling the blissful space. "You talked about me?"" He lurched to his feet, his practiced persona enveloping him like armor but feeling as comfortable as his favorite denims. "Fuck off!" he spat, attempting to exit the space with his dignity intact. That his gait was unsteady and his heart ached only served to piss him off further.
"Sanzo, wait," Gojyo called. "It's not like that." Sanzo stomped to the wayhouse without responding, only allowing one backward glance as he reached the doorway. Gojyo was standing where he left him, scowling, hands on hips, "You crazy fucker, we gotta talk." Sanzo sniffed, shutting the door behind him. "You don't come back out here I'm coming in," came the threat.
Sanzo shuddered, unsure whether it was in rage or excitement.
pissed Gojyo had followed him into the wayhouse, Sanzo was loathe to admit he would have been even more
pissed if he hadn't. He could not understand himself. It was a virus and he was
infected, that had to be it.
Gojyo shut the door behind him but went no further, explaining, "Hakkai's got healer's eyes so he knew something was up, but Hakkai is...Hakkai." He paused, smiling fondly. "So it's left to me to carry out doctor's orders."
The explanation was far too sensible for Sanzo's tastes, diffusing his anger at being gossiped about, leaving him with nothing more to do than look away and mutter, "Che!"
Suddenly Gojyo was standing before him. Sanzo peered up to see someone contemplating a fine meal and gaped, incredulous. "Drop the robes," came the order.
Every cell in his being demanded he scream, "Fuck off!" but he found his hands moving unbidden, untying the belt holding it all in place, allowing the flowing material to fall to the floor. He stood there in his denim and leathers, watching Gojyo's eyes rake him up and down appreciatively, trying to will the blush from spreading across his face.
Gathered into the tobacco-scented embrace, it seemed completely natural to wind his arms around the taller man's shoulders and pull him down into another kiss, to be sure the first one wasn't a fluke, of course. It wasn't. Just as electric, setting fire to his spine in exactly the same way, Sanzo melted against the chuckling body kneading his ass so right—grinding their hips together in time to the thrusting of his wily tongue.
When Gojyo broke away, dropping to his knees, Sanzo's arms felt too empty to appreciate the potential of the action. Quick hands unbuckled him, pulling his jeans low enough to reveal dusky gold curls which Gojyo proceeded to bury his face in. "Ummmm," he intoned. "You smell as good as you look."
The gentle butterfly kisses on his lower belly caused Sanzo to squirm, the power between them threatening to become out of balance. He carded his fingers into the long red hair, taking special care to gently tease the sensitive tendrils at Gojyo's crown, and the kappa moaned most wonderfully, shivering even after the caress ended. "Come here," Sanzo demanded, grabbing a hunk of silk and pulling upward, hungry for another kiss.
Sanzo found the tongue play exquisite, his knees weakening at the pleasure of it, senses thrumming with the dance. So when a sure hand reached inside his jeans to release his straining member, the sensation was startling and almost unwelcome. Not to be outdone, he grabbed Gojyo's crotch sensuously, smiling inwardly at the shudder it caused. An expert tug on his belt and a few popped buttons allowed Sanzo to return the favor, discovering a weapon so daunting—larger than his own in both girth and length—he both cringed and salivated, contemplating the inevitable.
He stroked the thing all the more wicked in retaliation, even as his own was subjected to masterful treatment. They gasped together, leaning on each other, biting tongues, hot and devouring. There was no time or interest in teasing, only in providing the most intense sensation in the most efficient manner. Thus it became impossible to kiss at the end, Sanzo sinking his teeth into his lover's shoulder instead, in hopes of stifling his cries. Feeling warm wetness christen his palm only added to the strange sense of joy he felt, that he could bring the kappa nuzzling his neck the same pleasure he'd been given.
"So, you still say it's the same as your own hand?" Gojyo whispered. It had been so not the same, feeling like a gift, a boon, bringing Sanzo a sense of belonging and acceptance he had never before experienced. But admitting it...well, he wasn't ready to do that.
Gojyo eyed him knowingly then broke away and strode to the nightstand, licking his fingers wantonly. Feeling revolted yet strangely moved by the gesture, Sanzo couldn't bring himself to mirror it, gratefully taking the towel offered. Long fingers appeared under his chin, tipping his face upwards so that the addictive mouth could claim his again. He gladly acquiesced and fed hungrily, still unsatiated, savoring the tender messages Gojyo's tongue was sending him.
The wind outside brought voices, Goku's animated speech and Hakkai's quiet responses, causing them to part, hurriedly hitching their pants and smoothing hair. Sanzo felt tongue-tied and awkward until Gojyo asked the most amazing question, "Want to fuck me next time?"
"F-Fuck you?" Sanzo stammered, overcome, considering it was the absolute last thing he expected Gojyo to say. "You'd let me do that?"
"You really want to?" Gojyo gasped, happily amazed, which was even more surprising.
They stared at each other hungrily, contemplating the possibilities, when Goku burst through the door. "Hey, we got dinner!" he announced, as two pairs of eyes turned toward him reluctantly.
Hakkai followed him inside, inhaled deeply and smiled, nodding in satisfaction. "Yes," he said, setting his sack on the table. "Come try these appetizers."
next two nights were torture, for their standard room arrangements left Sanzo
doing his damnedest not to listen even though the very quiet trumpeted shame
and innuendo. Thankfully, no sexual sounds emanated from next door, but every
chuckle or murmur caused a riot in his mind. They're laughing about me! I'm sure it's oh, so amusing.
The endless battles with inept demons did nothing but distract for a short while, leaving him thick in the fever once they'd cleaned up and set themselves back on the road again.
At the next town he left them to their bickering, requiring silence. But the siren continued to call, and somehow he was back at the inn, trudging up the stairs telling himself he needed a new pack of smokes. He opened the door of his room to find Gojyo sitting on one of the beds. "Well, you finally show up!" he groused. "Took ya long enough."
Sanzo stood staring, contemplating the situation. There was Gojyo, barefoot in only his pants and no one else to be seen. He opened his mouth but, face hot, heart pounding, couldn't muster his higher brain functioning to ask the correct questions.
"'Kai lured Goku out with a promise of meat buns," Gojyo offered helpfully. "They'll share tonight." Sanzo nodded, still unable to move, being simultaneously pissed as hell that others had decided his fate and horny enough to...to....NO! He turned on his heel, remembering his humiliation the past two nights, and made to escape.
Gojyo's arms found him before he reached the door, holding him tight while the back of his neck was nibbled hungrily. The ensuing shivers effectively distracted him so that his robes fell on the floor magically, quickly followed by his shirt. A firestorm soon erupted, and it took a moment to understand what was happening. The kappa had both nipples in his talented fingers, teasing them in ways that caused his body to jerk uncontrollably, arching like a whore into the cock against his ass.
"Come here," Gojyo whispered, pulling him backwards. "Let's do it on a bed this time, huh?"
Sanzo struggled, turning in Gojyo's arms to push him away. The kappa was too quick, however, catching his face to pull him into a searing kiss. Sanzo gasped, shocked at the pleasure of having Gojyo's tongue inside his mouth once again. It immediately banished every thought of running away, bringing all his focus to the addictive activity that was more intoxicating than whiskey.
Somehow he was horizontal with Gojyo snuggled alongside, still holding him in thrall with his kisses. To be touched as though he was something precious evoked a sense of incredulous wonder he had never experienced before. It didn't make sense, that being kissed in the arms of a lover should bring such a sense of rightness, of having finally discovered where one belongs, but apparently it did.
Up so close, the kappa's scent overwhelmed him—green and alive, like humid air after a storm or moss deep in the forest. If they'd been too long traveling Gojyo could get truly stagnant, worse than the rest of them combined (for, of course, Hakkai always managed to smell good no matter how long without a shower), but Sanzo loved the kappa's fundamental aroma for it reminded him of things strong and safe. Gojyo smelled of life, and was therefore dependable in a way that Sanzo didn't understand but trusted completely.
The mind-numbing kisses wandered lower, leisurely enough that he was ready to complain, when his core was enveloped in radiant fire. He had wondered, in weaker moments, what it might feel like to be inside another body, but his imagination had fallen far short of the actual experience. Gojyo's mouth felt exquisite, so much so that he stopped worrying about the sighs and moans escaping, as it was impossible to stay silent.
He never wanted it to end and his lover seemed in no hurry. The far-from-humble blowjob was having the strangest effect: to be treated with such reverence was making him feel sublime, almost as though he deserved such happiness—an enticing possibility! It was warm, glowing, and as close to heaven as he had ever been. Raising himself on one elbow to view the confounding sight, it was still hard to accept that Mr. Heterosexual, Sha Gojyo, was happily sucking his cock even as he watched it happening. But there he was and it was absolutely goddamn perfect.
Gojyo glanced up, his expression so lusty Sanzo's heart was pierced by the flames in his eyes. Giving his body an appreciative once over that practically scorched his skin, Gojyo whispered, "Seeing you horny.... Holy fuck, it's hot!"
Sanzo looked away. Damn the fucker for making me blush! Gojyo didn't wait around to crow, however, grabbing his hips and disappearing lower again. There was a delicious slurp along his full length when the inexplicable occurred. Gojyo wandered in between his cheeks, leaving Sanzo blissfully incredulous and revolted in equal measure. "Goddamn pervert," he growled. "What the fuck are you doing?" That the ministrations were causing him to gasp in heretofore unknown pleasure only served to confuse.
Gojyo's chuckle rumbled throughout his entire foundation. "Haven't you always wanted me to kiss your ass, oh pious one?" he teased, causing the most exquisitely delightful sensations Sanzo had ever experienced. He was overcome, his mind finally giving up the fight, allowing himself to simply experience and appreciate. It was lovely. Gojyo wove his enchantment and Sanzo succumbed, so when the talented mouth was replaced by long, knowing fingers, he welcomed them gladly.
Again he was amazed, for apparently there was more—it got better. He'd always thought that having something inside would feel like a violation, but it wasn't the case. It felt remarkable, unlike anything he ever imagined, leaving him writhing and aching with a need deeper than the one his screaming cock presented. So when the delicious sensations ceased and Gojyo moved to straddle his hips, he raised an objection. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Well, I thought, you being a virgin an' all, I should ride you this time," the kappa explained.
"No," Sanzo decided. "Fuck me."
Gojyo eyed him doubtfully. "I dunno, man. You sure?"
"Fuck me or die!"
Gojyo knew he'd make good on the threat and yet he still hesitated, hand stroking himself as if to call attention to the realities of the situation. "I don't want to hurt you, Sanzo."
"Look," came the exasperated response. "I'm a goddamn monk. I can relax. Just go slow and pay attention. Now fuck me or get the hell out of here!"
"Okay, okay," Gojyo grinned. "If you say so, Sanzo-sama."
And so he did. And if Sanzo grudgingly admitted to himself that maybe Gojyo had a point about big dicks and virgin asses, he sure as hell wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of saying so. It was cliché to call it life-altering, and yet it had been, causing his heart to feel as open and plundered as...other parts. During the thick of it, when he thought he'd lose himself in the transportive wonder that was sharing his body with another, he'd opened his eyes, grateful to discover it was just the stupid kappa after all—nothing he couldn't handle. And he clung to this charming fallacy long after his heart was permanently putty in Gojyo's hands.
Later, a nagging worry roused Sanzo to wakefulness and he poked the dozing form next to him. "What will Hakkai have to say about this?" he asked.
The kappa opened his eyes and grinned impishly. "I can only tell you what he told me. 'In due time, I'll want my fair share, Gojyo.'"
The resulting fireworks caused Sanzo's mouth to gape and Gojyo attacked with his most masterful kiss, efficiently forestalling the threatening violence...for the time being.