TITLE: Holy Fuck

AUTHOR: Eyes of Shinigami


PAIRING: Goku/Hazel, mentions of possible 39/93

TIMELINE: Sometime during Reload (before Vol 7)

WARNINGS: Slash, mansmex, dark, some OOC, CRACK!

SUMMARY: Goku gets really tired of Hazel trying to seduce Sanzo, and decides to show him a thing or two. Trouble is…Hazel actually likes it. Second in the series of crackfics for my challenge. This one is for my Windy.

DISCLAIMER: I own not Saiyuki. Minekura-sensei doth own it. I just borrow.




            "I really, really don't like that guy," Goku muttered under his breath, watching Hazel do his best to make an impression on Sanzo. The Bishop was forever trying to get the priest's attention, to the point that it was almost sickening. And it rubbed Goku the wrong way. He could feel his blood thrumming in his veins at the show before him.

            "Now, Goku, you know he's harmless. Sanzo doesn't pay him any mind." Hakkai put down his bag in the back of the jeep, not really paying him much attention. He was too busy making sure that they were well-stocked for the next day's journey. It would be nearly three days before they would reach another town with suitable supplies, so they needed to be ready.

            Deep down, Goku knew Hakkai was right. Still, it bugged him to no end that Sanzo didn't vehemently reject Hazel's advances like he did any one else. In fact, it seemed that most times he let the touches slide, just like he did with Goku's own. At that thought, Goku could feel the jealousy bubbling up inside his chest and he had to resist the urge to walk over to knock the Bishop's lights out. "Fucking bastard." His mumbled words drew Hakkai's attention back to him, offering a grin to dissuade the man from asking questions. "You're probably right, Hakkai. Maybe I'm just overreacting."

            "Aww…is the bean monkey jealous that Hazel's muscling in his territory? Maybe you should go over there and show that fruitcake who's boss, eh?" Gojyo taunted as he came around the corner with more shopping bags. It amused him how flustered and angry Goku got when it came to the Western man, so it was his duty to rile the monkey up as much as possible.

            However, neither man missed the almost predatory gleam that sparkled in Goku's large eyes. Gojyo hadn't meant for that to happen. "Hey monkey…I was kidding. Don't get yourself all in a tizzy about it."

            Goku didn't respond at first, before a rough shake of his shoulder from the redhead jolted him back to reality. He blinked once, his eyes refocusing. "What? Oh, yeah. I know." With one last glance towards where Sanzo and Hazel were standing, he turned and started heading in the other direction. "I'm going for a walk…I'll see you guys later." He didn't wait for a response from either of them as he walked back into the town with his hands shoved into his pockets. His thoughts were racing around, but there was one that kept surfacing no matter what he did.

            He was going to show Hazel. Once and for all.



            Night had fallen by the time Goku returned, earning him a familiar smack from the monk with the fan and a gentle admonishment from Hakkai. Only Gojyo noticed the disheveled appearance and the determination alight in Goku's eyes. He found himself thanking his lucky stars that it wasn't him after Sanzo. The way Goku looked right now was a little too close to his alter-ego, but he didn't say anything. It wasn't any of his business. "Did you have a nice walk?" he asked casually. He had to suppress a shudder when Goku turned to him with that strange look in his eyes.

            "Went to train. Felt nice to stretch my muscles, you know?" Goku answered vaguely, rolling his head on his shoulders and stretching languidly to emphasize. He smirked when he noticed the monk looking at him, even more pleased when he saw Hazel shift a little nervously. Good. He ate quickly, not bothering to partake in in the usual banter with Gojyo and chose instead to turn his attention to Hazel.

            "Well, isn't that nice? It seems to be a mighty fine night to do some trainin', Mister Goku." Hazel tipped his wine glass back, that infuriating smirk of his planted firmly on his face. It just made Goku want to hit him even more. "Such stamina."

            Goku tried not to show the frustration he was feeling on his face, choosing instead to fold his hands on the table and continue to stare at the other man. He could feel two other pairs of eyes on him and when they shifted to Hazel. He supposed it was like watching a sparring match, the tiniest of smirks arching his lips upward. "Yeah, I guess. Well…I think I'm going to turn in. I'll see you guys in the morning." Without another word, he got up from the table and left the restaurant. Now, it was time to wait.




            He waited until he saw the three other party members leave, his blood boiling when he noticed Hazel dogging Sanzo again. He clenched his fist, waiting until he saw the others and Gat disappear into the inn. Just as Hazel was about to follow behind, Goku sprang from the tree and grabbed him, pinning him to the wall. He smirked at the hiss of breath that escaped the Bishop before planting a hand firmly around the silver-haired man's neck. "Hey there, Hazel." He knew this was terribly out of character for him, but he'd had enough.

            Hazel's eyes widened fractionally, but the man didn't fight the grip the small demon had on him. "Now, why are you behavin' like this? Mighty troublin' to see you in such a state, Mister Goku," he drawled, smirking slightly. It faltered when he saw those golden eyes waver, slit for a split second before returning to normal.

            Goku pushed back, hard enough to knock Hazel's head against the wall. The sound was satisfying, pressing the line of his body against the other's. "You need to leave Sanzo the fuck alone." He growled at the memory of Hazel touching Sanzo earlier, tightening his grip to show he meant business. "I don't know who you think you are, but it better stop."

            A frown replaced the smirk, hands grabbing the wrist that held him so tightly. "Now see here, I don't have the slightest idea what you're talkin' about, young'un. I simply enjoy Mister Sanzo's company is all. I think you've got the wrong idea about me." He didn't want to admit that a thrill ran through him at the look his words produced. Blunt nails digging into the flesh of his neck reminded him of the position he was in. He thought about calling Gat to get this beast off of him, but his throat wouldn't cooperate.

            Another growl escaped Goku's lips, a hand trailing up Hazel's chest just hard enough to hurt. "It's obvious you like Sanzo, but he's mine. You'd better keep your filthy hands off of him. No one touches Sanzo," the boy purred dangerously.

            Hazel couldn't help the buck of his hips at that, eyes widening further when he realized that he was enjoying what the boy was doing to him. "Who says Sanzo's yours? I certainly don't see your name on him anyplace." The grip on his throat tightened, another hiss escaping him. Wow this kid was strong.

            Goku growled again, baring his teeth as he pressed harder into the man. He hated that Hazel was right, that Sanzo wasn't officially his, but damn it if he was going to let someone else have him. "We'll see about that." Leaning closer to Hazel, he whispered, "Tell you what…you get through me, and you can have Sanzo. Deal?" He flicked his tongue out, dragging it along the shell of Hazel's ear and relishing in the shudder it produced. He had to admit that it was heady, dominating the supposed holy man like this.

            Hazel had to bite back the moan the touch produced, his body trembling as Goku's words sunk in. If he just endured this, Sanzo would be his. He couldn't very well pass up an offer like that and it wasn't like the boy's touch was unpleasant. Far from it, actually. All he had to do was close his eyes and pretend it was the gorgeous blond priest who was touching him and he'd be okay. "You got yourself a deal, young'un." No sooner did the words leave his lips that he felt Goku flush against him, their bodies melding together.

            Surprising them both, Goku pressed his lips hungrily against Hazel's, hard enough to bruise, as he swallowed the moan the action produced. If he just closed his eyes, he could pretend that it was Sanzo he was pinning to the wall. He could imagine that it was Sanzo's arousal he was smelling, and it was the blond's cock pressing into the flesh of his thigh. "I'm not going to be gentle…" he murmured against the other man's lips, rolling his hips and grunting when he felt long legs wrap around his middle.

            "I wouldn't be expectin' yah to be, Goku." Another thrill shot through him at the prospect, unable to deny that the demon boy looked exquisite like this. Those heathen golden eyes were glittering and the flush stained his cheeks nicely. He could feel the hum of Goku's energy dancing across his skin, wondering if Sanzo knew what he was missing by denying the boy. His eyes widened at that thought, shaking his head and frowning.

            Goku purred, biting down on the column of the silver-haired man's throat and earning another groan. He could feel his animalistic instincts taking over, the need to fuck and claim washing over him. He would show Hazel who was dominant enough to claim Sanzo. His hands slithered up Hazel's back, picking up the ridiculous robes that the man wore and gathering them at his hips. He was surprised to find that the man had on a pair of jeans beneath, but he just hurriedly moved them out of the way. He dipped his hand inside and took hold of Hazel's erection, surprised that the man was so aroused. "You're dripping wet…"

            Hazel moaned at the feeling of Goku's warm hand on his aching length, resting his head on the demon's shoulder and entangling his hands in unruly brunet locks. How long had it been, anyway? He didn't really think about indulging base needs, but he wasn't above it. "Just get on with it…" He felt that hand beginning to tug, surprisingly gentle and enough to tantalize. The touch was rhythmical and terribly arousing, as though Goku had done this before.

            Goku smirked, removing his hand from around Hazel's neck to force the man to look at him. He pressed their lips together again, gentler this time, but with still enough bite to let the man know who was calling the shots. He tugged harder, wringing more sounds out of the man. His own arousal throbbed in response, and he decided that he needed to fuck Hazel now. He let go of Hazel's cock to push his own pants out of the way and to grab the lube that he stuffed in his back pocket. Just because he hated the man didn't mean that he would go out of the way to hurt him, not to mention the fact that it would probably hurt him as well. He let his cock brush against Hazel's ass, coating his fingers generously before reaching between them to stretch the other man. Practice, he reminded himself, ignoring the niggling feeling of excitement that flared up in his stomach.

            Hazel arched away from the wall at the intrusion, a whimper escaping from deep within him as he felt his body open up to Goku's touch. He stared down into that intent face, feeling the coils of arousal in his belly tightening further. He never really noticed how truly striking the demon boy was, more so with his hair plastered to his face in the heat of their liaison. He couldn't deny the throb of approval that shook his body or how his body arched again when he felt those digits probe that spot inside him that made him forget his own name.

            Goku hissed at the feeling of Hazel's muscles tensing in rhythm with his thrusts and deemed him ready. Slathering a considerable amount of the lube onto his own length, he hurried to push inside the other man. His eagerness surprised him, but he decided it had something to do with how turned on he was. Once inside, he moaned desperately into Hazel's shoulder and willed his hips to stay in one spot. He couldn't understand why he was so intent on not hurting the man. He should have wanted to fuck him senseless, to prove that he was the one who could dominate Sanzo. Slowly, he began to thrust, smirking at the sounds the silver-haired man made as he did.

            Hazel clutched at Goku as he thrust, his hips bucking in turn and responding eagerly. So much strength packed into such a lithe body, he was heady knowing that he was experiencing it. Vaguely, he wondered if Sanzo had ever experienced Goku like this. He was almost thrilled that he may have been the first to witness such passion. "Ah, Goku…" The name rolled off his tongue before he could stop it, initiating a kiss for the first time. He moaned into the kiss, seeking Goku's tongue out and sucking hard on it. He felt the shudder ripple through the boy, smirking to himself.

            Not to be outdone, Goku snaked his free hand between their bodies to grasp Hazel's weeping cock, stroking roughly and attempting to bring the other to climax. He could feel the coil of heat winding in his own belly, desperate for release. It would have just been too much to know that he made Hazel cum. A few more well-placed flicks of his wrist and he felt Hazel's muscles clench around him. Had he been that aroused? It didn't matter, feeling wet heat coat his hand and the moan the orgasm produced.

            Hazel's eyes shot open when he came, shocking him. He hadn't expected to enjoy this little experience. He had been trying to think of violet eyes and blond hair, finding his mind filled with liquid gold and a feral smile. His body shuddered, feeling the sudden warmth of Goku's own release coat his insides. Another moan escaped him, practically clawing at the demon's shoulders and back.

            Goku buried himself deep in the other man as he released, a cry tearing itself from his throat at the sensation. His knees gave out and he collapsed on the ground, taking Hazel with him. The two of them lay in tangled heap, neither one able to will themselves up. After a moment, Goku pressed a kiss to Hazel's temple and pulled out of him as gently and quickly as possible. The sight of the man's flushed skin was pleasing, to the point that Goku wouldn't have minded going another round. Funny that he wasn't thinking of Sanzo at the moment, but rather how stunning Hazel looked in the moonlight.

            "Well…" Hazel said after a moment, unsure of what else to say. "I reckon we better head back to the inn. The other might be startin' to worry."

            The two of them silently collected themselves and headed back to the inn. Goku brushed his hand against Hazel's own once they reached the door, but nothing else was exchanged. It had been just a meaningless fuck, after all.




            Hakkai immediately noticed that something had changed over the course of the night. It wasn't just that Goku had come in late, or that he had very nearly slept through breakfast, it was that the golden-eyed boy was watching Hazel with a look of thinly veiled interest.

            Add that to the fact that Hazel wasn't bugging Sanzo anymore, much the monk's obvious relief. Still, he noticed once or twice that Hazel took to watching Goku instead of Sanzo. The two had exchanged glances more than once, but it hadn't been more than that.

            As if reading his mind, he felt Gojyo's hand come down on his shoulder. "Whatever it is, let it go. It's probably better that way." The redhead grinned cockily, because he could easily tell what had happened. The monkey's plan had backfired and it amused him to no end. What was Sanzo going to think when he found out his monkey was jonsing for someone else?

            Hakkai blinked for a moment before he started to laugh, unable to control himself. "You're probably right, Gojyo. I do know this…things have just gotten a lot more interesting."



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