Author – cornerofmadness

Disclaimer - not mine. All rights belong to Kazuya Minekura et al, no profit made, just a little fun

Rating – barely NC-17 for sexual situations

Pairing – Hakkai/Gojyo implied Sanzo/Goku

Timeline – future fic but no real spoilers for anything

Summary – Goku reminisces about his past and considers his future

Warnings- none really other than its future fic so some characters may no longer be with us in this




Goku watched the children play in the park. He'd have to get the raven-haired five-year-old back to his parents by nightfall but that was hours away. It felt good to just sit in the sun, letting it bake his skin. Having no pressing duties to attend to lightened Goku's heart. Sometimes, now that he was alone, Goku felt the press of his years weighing on him. Some days he was sure it could grind him down into the heart of the earth. Occasionally, he would have been very willing to accept that fate, hiding out deep in the ground where nothing more could take a nasty bite out of him, like going back into the womb, quite literally for him. Goku remembered the shock he suffered when the seal had come off his memories and just a bit later when Kanzeon filled in other details, such as his birth.


Still, watching the boy play threaded a hint of melancholy into the weave of Goku's being. Siamak was a poignant reminder that Goku was the only one left. The  boy was one of Hakkai's grandchildren with one or two greats in front of it. Goku couldn't remember. He had lost them all, twice actually since their triumphant return from India. Only he remained almost unchanged, aging ever so slowly. He might look twenty now, if he squinted hard and glanced at the mirror sideways.


"He's a cutie," a voice right next to his ear said, not quite startling Goku. He had smelled her subtle scent that somehow reminded him of cinnamon and jasmine.


Goku glanced over at Kanzeon as she sat next to him on the bench, looking delicate, yet hot in her sundress. Of course, knowing that the dress hide a few secrets sort of warped the appeal. "He really is. He looks like his granddaddy, smart as Hakkai, too."


She passed him one of the two ice cream cones she held. "They're all back now, aren't they?"


Goku lapped up some ice cream before answering, considering reincarnation. "I'm getting good at recognizing them when they come back. Sanzo's two towns over and a real brat." He smiled fondly, recalling his first encounter with the boy. "He's gonna be somethin' when he grows up. Hakkai's across the river. I've only seen 'im once. He's two year's younger so he's kinda too young to get a feel for but we know how he'll turn out, right?"


'Pretty much same as always," Kanzeon concurred, her pink tongue cutting a furrow in the vanilla of her cone.


"Gojyo's a girl this time." Goku laughed. "Serves him right for all those girls he useta chase."


"He'll just be thrilled with his own set of boobs to play with." Kanzeon trailed a finger over one of hers.


Goku snorted ice cream then wiped his face. "Yeah well he liked to play with other things, too."


Kanzeon laughed lightly, her earrings chiming lightly as she titled her head back.  "I do recall getting an eyeful or two when I'd watch over you all."  Out of nowhere, a box appeared in her hand. "Brought you a gift."


"You already have." Goku wiggled his ice cream cone but took the box. His eyes shone like summer sunlight opening it. "Chocolates!"


"I figured with food, I can't go wrong." Kanzeon smiled.

Goku popped a chocolate into his mouth with a healthy dollop of ice cream. He savored the cool silky sensations, murmuring happily. "Funny you should give me these right after we were talking about Gojyo and sex. It reminds me of something."


Kansan's meticulously shaped brow arched, a curious gleam in her dark eyes. "Oh?"


"The first box of chocolates I ever got," Goku said, sampling another one.


"I'm in the mood for a story." Kanzeon settled back against the bench, looking at Goku expectantly.


"Well, okay, I guess."  Goku's nose wrinkled. "Sometimes it hurts to remember them like that." Kanzeon's hand rubbed his shoulder and Goku leaned into the comforting touch. "But sometimes it's good, too."


X                                  X                                  X


"Math is so hard," I mumbled, trying to figure out all the hard stuff Hakkai had given me to do. It was bad enough trying to remember his new name and now he wanted to teach me all this stuff. Sanzo said it was pointless but Hakkai said I could learn if I wanted to. And I did. I was gonna show Sanzo I wasn't as dumb as a box of hammers. But math was too much, though I knew I had done it right this time. Fast, too.


Picking up my stuff ringed around me outside under the shade tree – Hakkai said it might help me learn better to be out in the fresh air by myself – I went looking for him. He was probably somewhere with Gojyo, especially if Gojyo wasn't all stinky and sicky from being out all night. I didn't really understand what he did to smell like that under all the smoke-stink that stuck to him. Sanzo never smelled like that under his smoke. I kinda agreed with Hakkai. I wish they wouldn't make so much smoke. It burned my nose.


I passed under the open window in Gojyo's room as I walked around the house and stopped when I heard my name. Sanzo always tells me not to listen in but I couldn't help it.  They were talking  about me.


"Goku's busy with his studies. We have time," Hakkai was saying.


"Are you sure?" Gojyo asked.


"It's math," Hakkai said. Curious why they were talking about me, I stood on tiptoe and peeked in.


"Ah, and you gave him problems he couldn't solve by counting on his toes." Gojyo laughed.


Hey! I only had to do that once! I wanted to stomp right in there and whack Gojyo with my math homework but what I saw next stopped me good. Hakkai leaned down and kissed Gojyo right on the mouth. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know you could get your tongue that far into someone else's mouth and why would you want to?


Then it got even more interesting. I set my books down and stood on them so my toes wouldn't get tired. I knew I probably wasn't supposed to be looking at this but I was curious. I mean, isn't that why Hakkai kept bringing me here? To teach me lessons? This was something I had never seen so it would be a big lesson.


They kept kissing and licking while they took off all their clothes. I had to wonder if Gojyo had something good on his skin the way Hakkai kept tasting him. It sounded like they both really liked it, though.


Their boy parts were doing something I didn't even know they could do. Glancing down, I wondered why mine didn't do that? Maybe I was too little yet. Maybe I was defective! I had to ask Hakkai that later. Hakkai's parts were longer and kinda curved. Maybe the way Gojyo kept stroking it had worn a groove in Hakkai's thing. Hakkai's skin had gone all apple-red except that horrible scar. Oh, poor Hakkai. That hadda hurt.


Wow, why would anyone wanna put boy parts in their mouth? That had to taste nasty! Hakkai didn't seem to mind though. He looked like he sure liked the way Gojyo tasted. I'm not sure how he didn't gag, Hakkai had so much of Gojyo inside his mouth. Even I can't put stuff that far back in my throat and I eat like a pig according to Sanzo. He says he's ashamed of me when we go out to eat.


Gojyo made a lot of noise then went all limp on the bed, looking happy for a moment and Hakkai just watched him, smiling for real, not that scary smile of his. Gojyo went back to wearing a groove in Hakkai's boy's parts until Hakkai was making those noises, too. Then something really weird happened, all thick and white pumping out of Hakkai. I tried to get a better look, slipped off the books and hit my head on the way down. It hurt and I knew they might have heard me. I just packed up my books and ran back to my shade tree to play innocent.


No one said nothing when Hakkai finally came out to see if I had done my math. I had done it, of course…wrong. He didn't say nothing, either, when he took me back to Sanzo's. I asked Sanzo about it that night and got fanned for it and he called us all idiots. I don't know why he thinks I can't learn anything. What Hakkai and Gojyo did didn't look hard to learn and it looked like they thought it was fun. Maybe I could try it some day.


So I asked Hakkai about it the next time he came and got me for my lessons, reading this time. I liked reading. He didn't tell me what it was they had been doing, just reminded me it was rude to spy on people and even ruder to gossip about what they had seen. Hakkai was mad, I could tell. I felt real bad about it but I didn't know why it was all so secret.


Finally I asked Gojyo and he got big-eyes and all red. He made me promise not to tell anyone what I saw and he'd give me something good to eat. Well, I had already asked everyone I knew and I really wanted something good, so I promised. Later, Hakkai saw me eating the chocolates Gojyo had given me.


"Where did you get those, Goku?"


"Gojyo. He didn't want me to tell no one about what I saw the last time I was here," I sucked the lemony middle out of my chocolate.


"Does he know you've already spoken to me and Sanzo?" Hakkai squinted at me.

"He didn't ask." I shrugged and held out the box. "Want a chocolate?"


Hakkai took one. "We are such …unusual role models for you, Goku. I fear what you might learn."


"Nah, you're all good."


X                                  X                                  X


"And they were, too," Goku said wistfully, trying to ignore the gales of laughter tearing out of Kanzeon.


"That is…" She struggled to breathe. "I haven't laughed that hard…poor thing, so innocent."


Goku blushed. "Hey! What did I know? I didn't even know sex existed then."


"But you learned," Kanzeon said, reaching for a chocolate.


"Well, yeah! Best lessons ever." Goku flashed her a toothy grin. "I know exactly why they were so happy now. You know what I mean."


"Very much so," she assured him.


Goku sighed, his joviality fading. "I miss them so much. I know they're back again, just like before, but it's not the same. Sanzo was the one who rescued me, not whoever he'll be this time. I'll be the only one who remembers…and I remember it all now, even from before."


Kanzeon slipped an arm around him. "I know you do. Nataku would like to see you again sometime."

Goku smiled at that. "Tell him where to find me. They all died for me in heaven. That wasn't fair."


"No, but in some ways they also lived for you, Goku," Kanzeon said, running her hand through Goku's thick hair. "Konzen was dead inside, shriveled up, boring. That's why I gave you to him. I knew you could breathe life into him and you did it spectacularly."


"So why did they all have to die again?" Goku sulked, his candy sitting next to him forgotten for the moment.


"Everything dies, Goku."


"I know but…" Goku studied her passive face. "Why didn't they get to stay in heaven this time? They did everything you needed them to."


"Probably because they would have been bored to tears there, Goku." Kanzeon let out a little sigh of her own. "Heaven knows I am. Is it so bad this way?"


Goku shrugged. "Maybe not. I mean, I know we'll all be together again and now I have you and Nataku to talk to when I'm feeling all old and alone and stuff."


"Oh, thanks," she said wryly as a shadow circled over them. Hakuryuu fluttered down and perched on Goku's shoulder. He cocked his head at the box of chocolates.


Goku picked them back up, helping himself to a caramel. Hakuryuu 'kyuued' at it. "You don't want this one. It's caramel." When the dragon insisted, Goku fed it to him, watching those little jaws trying to work the sticky mass. "Will he ever remember he used to have human shape?"


"Someday I suspect." Kanzeon got up. "It's not all so bad, Goku. Maybe this time, you'll get to be the one in charge of the group."


Goku laughed, holding up his hands. "No thanks. Though I wonder…" He cast a glance at the children playing. "Maybe, will I get to be a Dad some day? Being an uncle is great but I think maybe some day I'd like kids."


"Time will tell. You'd be a fun dad." She leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Nice talking to you, Goku. Thanks for the story. I'll be giggling for weeks."

He snorted at her as Siamak ran up to him and grabbed his hand.


"Come on, Uncle Goku, come see what I can do," the boy insisted, staring back at Kanzeon. He had never seen the bodhisattva before and was obviously entranced by her. Hakuryuu switched his perch from Goku's shoulders to Siamak's, almost dwarfing those thin shoulders.


Goku waved to Kanzeon then let Hakkai's grandson a few times removed lead him off. She was right. It really wasn't all so bad. Hakkai had gotten to live his dream, married a beautiful woman, had kids. Gojyo eventually did, too, and Goku suspected that they all sort of had sex together but he never pried. Sanzo never married, never had kids, never left Goku. Damn, he really did miss them all but between grandkids and rebirths, they never completely left him either. Goku felt content with that. 

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