Title: No Talking, No Staying, No Kissing
Warnings: yaoi (obviously)
Summary: Sanzo has three rules for Goku: not talking, no staying, no kissing.
No Talking, No Staying, No Kissing.
It's late by the time they reach the nearest town. It's even later by the time they find an inn with enough beds for the four of them.
Goku had tried to sleep in the back of the jeep, but the blood had dried with the blistering heat and caked itself to his skin. It itched, and no matter how he moved, he couldn't get comfortable.
But he's too tired to care about being comfortable now. The battles that had been hauled upon them throughout the day have left his limbs heavy and his muscles sore. The further west they get the more demons there are, and for the first time in a long while, Goku just wants a break. Just one day with no youkai trying to kill them. One day to recharge his batteries and then he'll dive back in again.
But even the vague hope of five minutes peace is tiring. He follows Sanzo into their room silently, with his eyes lidded half shut already, and swings the door closed behind him. There are two beds. Of course there is almost always a bed each, but most nights Goku would start in one and end in another.
Goku isn't entirely sure how it started. But he remembers that he was the one who started it.
Tonight though, he's too tired to start anything. He kicks his shoes off and shuffles across the room. Sanzo is already lying on a bed, dressed only in his jeans, sprawled atop the covers with his eyes closed and his lips a thin line.
Goku peels off the stiff fabric of his clothes, layer after layer until he's padding towards the unoccupied bed in only his boxers, ready to drop to the mattress like a rock. But through the window, the clouds curl backwards over the moon, and the room is suddenly bathed in silvery light. Sanzo's bare chest is practically glowing in the moonlight, all pale and smooth and tempting even with sleep tugging at the corners of the world. His hair looks like a halo around his face, and before Goku can drop into sleep he suddenly feels cold, despite the crazy heat they have been suffering the past few weeks.
He's too tired to do anything but sleep. But he's cold too, and he doesn't know why. Sanzo looks so warm, and Goku knows how warm that bare flesh can be. It's calling to him from across the room, even as Sanzo sleeps, his breathing deep, each rise of his chest is like a sigh.
He'll end up on the floor with a bruised ass, but he might as well try. Goku just wants to be close to him. To be warm like he can only be when he's close to Sanzo. So he pads across the room until his shadow falls across Sanzo's still form, cutting off the moonlight. Even in shadow he looks like he's glowing.
When Goku lowers himself onto the bed, careful not to touch Sanzo in case he wakes up and starts beating him about the head with the fan, he thinks he's gotten away with it. For about five seconds there is only stillness and silence and the silvery light dancing across Sanzo's face, and Goku allows his eyes to fall shut and breathes in Sanzo who is lying so very close but still too far away.
And then a firm hand touches his shoulder and shoves him backwards off the bed.
Goku hits his head and his ass when he lands on the floor. He's not surprised, not really, and he can't even be completely disappointed because he knew what would happen.
They are rules. Sanzo never goes to Goku, it's always the other way around, but the rules are Sanzo's. No talking, if anything other than a moan leaves Goku's mouth then he'll end up smothered with a hand or a pillow. No staying, Goku has to go back to his own bed afterwards, and if he falls asleep before he can move, then Sanzo will simply kick him out of the bed. And no kissing, but Goku can't even imagine what it would be like to kiss Sanzo, and if he tries to imagine it then not trying it would be torture. So he doesn't think about it.
Goku doesn't mind, really, he's happy with the situation. He'll take what he can get and what he's been given is far more than he thought he would be allowed. He's content, because he knows he wont get anything more than this, so he's not really disappointed to find himself sprawled on the floor.
He picks himself up, ready to crawl into his own bed, when Sanzo speaks.
"You're covered in blood, go for a shower."
Goku blinks. He had forgotten about the blood. When he looks down at himself he can see the dark streaks marring his body. Blood that isn't his staining his skin. Now that he remembers, it's started to itch again. So he risks one final glimpse at Sanzo, who had rolled onto his side, and then he turns towards the door.
Goku isn't entirely sure if Gojyo and Hakkai know what he and Sanzo do when they are completely alone. No one mentions it. It's like Goku's living two lives, the life he lives each day, with Gojyo and Hakkai and Sanzo and the youkai. And then there are the nights when he's alone with Sanzo and he physically aches to be touched by him. Those nights are like pearls in a black ocean, they're perfect, but no one can see them.
Goku turns the water on and steps beneath the spray. The heat is like a balm over his aching muscles. He's not hurt, just tired, and the swirl of the water, tinged pink with youkai blood, is hypnotising as it turns down the drain.
He doesn't let himself think about what he and Sanzo do when they're alone in their room. Not until they're alone again and he's allowed to want. If he thinks about it at any other time it's almost painful. He wants Sanzo, and he's heady with the fact that Sanzo wants him too. But he's afraid that he wants more of Sanzo than the monk is willing to give. That's why he has to not think about it and just be grateful for what he's given.
When the water is not longer stained pink, Goku steps out of the shower and pats himself dry with the towel. He's too tired to dry himself properly, not when there's a bed with his name on it calling out to him.
He hurries back into the room and leaves wet footprints on the way back to his bed before he looks over to Sanzo's bed again. The monk is lying on his side, facing the wall with his back to Goku. The moonlight is still shining off the smooth planes of his back, and he still looks so invitingly warm that Goku's legs move of their own accord.
Sanzo doesn't stir when Goku slides beneath the covers. But Goku is careful not to touch him, he doesn't want to wake him up and end up on the floor again, he just wants to be a little bit closer to him. Just a little bit. He'll get what he's given but that doesn't mean he can't take a little bit too.
When his weight is snug against the mattress and the warmth of Sanzo's body is granted him by the sheets, he lets his eyes drift closed. He vaguely wonders how long it will be before Sanzo wakes up and kicks him out of the bed before he falls asleep.
He's dreaming that all of the blood in his veins is burning. It's not an unpleasant feeling, it's far from unpleasant. Tendrils of desire are writhing in his stomach and it takes a moment for Goku to realise that he's awake.
He blinks in the darkness, and then all of his breath leaves him in a single gasp as he feels the fingers that are wrapped around his cock slide downwards.
There's a tongue tracing the shell of his ear, and a solid warmth at his back. He has the sudden revelation that his boxers are gone but he really can't find it in him to care much about that. He chokes out a strangled moan as Sanzo slides his hand back up the length of his erection, and he can feel almost silent laughter breathing on the back of his neck.
"Sanzo…" Goku bites his lips together as soon as the name falls off his tongue. The don't speak. They moan and gasp and cry out, but there are never words. And if Goku sometimes forgets and starts to say something them Sanzo will clamp his hand down over Goku's mouth, and then Goku can say what he likes because all Sanzo will hear is muffled groans.
Sanzo bites down on Goku's earlobe and moves his hand away from his erection. Goku lets out a small sound of protest, but the hand snakes down over his thigh, leaving a trail of heat in it's wake and goose bumps erupt across Goku's body.
All of the fogginess of sleep is gone now as Goku tries to breath in. Sanzo's hand dips beneath Goku's thigh and raises it, and he can feel Sanzo's hard on slide down the curve of his buttocks and between his parted legs like it belongs there.
Sanzo's teeth and tongue have moved to Goku's neck, and behind his lips Goku is making pathetic little noises; sounds he'd never make anywhere but here, never with anyone but Sanzo.
The pale hand glides over the muscles of Goku's thigh and back to his cock. Sanzo only lets his fingertips slide over Goku's length as he rubs his own erection between Goku's buttocks. Goku jerks back against Sanzo and then thrusts forwards into his hand. He wants to be in two places at once, his body wants to rip itself in two because there's too much of Sanzo and not enough of Goku, but instead he keeps still, apart from the shudders that travel up his spine as Sanzo licks his shoulder.
Sanzo twists his hand away, and reaches back for something Goku can't see. He can feel a pressure building up inside him, and he'll explode soon, he knows he will. So when the hand is gone, Goku moves his own hand and takes hold of his cock. He'll start to fall apart if there isn't some movement, some friction.
"Ch," Sanzo clucks in annoyance into Goku's neck and wraps both his arms around Goku's smaller body until he's gripping Goku's wrists and pulling his hands away so that he can't touch himself.
Goku's about ready to start thrashing, he doesn't know how long Sanzo's been touching him, but he's so hard it's actually hurting. Sanzo has one arm wrapped around Goku's neck, holding his wrists firmly at his chest, and the other hand has gone again. Goku bites his lip so hard he thinks he can taste blood, and he twists his head around to see what the hell Sanzo is doing because any second now Goku will explode and leave a bloody mess on the bed sheets.
But before Goku can turn his head around enough to see Sanzo, the monk has slid his leg between Goku's and pried his thighs further apart. Then there's a slick finger at his entrance and Goku forgets that he's meant to be biting his lips together and he gasps when Sanzo presses his finger into him.
It's uncomfortable, having a finger pulsing in and out of him. And it's even more uncomfortable when there are two fingers. But it won't be uncomfortable for long, so Goku takes the time to catch his breath as Sanzo stretches him.
Then Sanzo twists his fingers, and there are streaks of pleasure laced with flames whipping up his spine and through his belly, throbbing in his cock. There's nothing to hold onto with his wrists caught against his chest, all he can to is clench his fists and cry out as Sanzo pulls his fingers out and knocks the tip of his erection against Goku's opening.
Sanzo hisses as he presses the length of his cock into Goku, past the tight ring of muscle barring the entrance. The streaks of pleasure haven't faded yet, so Goku barely even feels any pain. When Sanzo is sheathed entirely inside him they both hold still.
He can feel Sanzo's breath, warm and quick on his shoulder. After a moment of stillness Goku wants movement, he can't keep still anymore, and he knows that Sanzo wants to move. So he shifts his hips, and even the slight movement is enough for Sanzo. The monk lets out a soft cry, almost too soft to hear as he pulls out of Goku, and then it's Goku's turn to cry out when Sanzo slams back into him.
Goku stops crying out and starts whimpering as his insides tighten together. In the morning he'll be vaguely disgusted with the sounds he always seems to make, even though Sanzo seems to like them. But for now he couldn't care less, because Sanzo is still pounding into him. He can feel Sanzo's breathing become ragged behind him, and when Goku lets out something that could have been a sob, Sanzo's hand flickers across Goku's thigh and moves to his weeping cock.
Sanzo bites down on Goku's shoulder as he jerks his wrist and pumps Goku closer and closer until everything inside Goku that was tightening suddenly snaps. There's a blinding white behind his eyelids and he's convinced he's fallen apart because he can't still be in one piece.
His entire body is thrumming with his orgasm, but Sanzo is still pounding into him, and the arm that has Goku's wrists trapped has tightened around him. Goku clenches his muscles around Sanzo, and Sanzo's body goes taut and rigid as he plunges into Goku for the last time.
Goku's eyes snap open. His heart just started fluttering insanely in his chest. Sanzo said his name. Sanzo, who won't speak, and wont let Goku speak during sex, just cried out Goku's name as he came.
Goku swallows and tries to still the shuddering that's controlling his body. He's too shocked to even wonder what just happened. Instead, he chooses to ignore it, and when Sanzo pulls out of him and lets go, he slides away. Sleep is tugging at him again and he needs to get back to his own bed before he falls asleep.
But as he starts to sit up, Sanzo's hand presses into his chest and pushes him back into the mattress.
"I'm comfortable baka, don't move."
So Goku doesn't
move. He's too shocked to move anyway, because not only do they never speak,
they never sleep together afterwards either. It's too personal, and it's been
made clear that this is only sex. But Goku lies still and listens to the even
breathing of the man lying beside him. It's always been just sex, and Goku's
never allowed himself to hope it might be more because he always knew it
wouldn't be. But he's still here, in Sanzo's bed, even though they're finished
and all that's left is to sleep. And Sanzo said his name. That could mean
everything or nothing at all.
Maybe hoping will end in tears. But he's hoping anyway.
When Goku wakes up, the sun is blinking in through the window. He feels better than he has in the longest time, like he's been sleeping for days rather than hours. He smiles lazily and listens to the birds chirping happily outside. Sanzo hates hearing the birds first thing in the morning. He tries too shoot them when he's feeling particularly grouchy, but Goku likes listening too them.
And that's when Goku realises that there is an arm draped around him, and he's being held against something warm and solid.
He's a little afraid to look, because he's not entirely sure what he'll find when he does. This is entirely new territory, and Sanzo will probably fan him to death for staying in his bed, but he has too look and make sure.
His heart freezes in his chest when he turns his head and sees that, actually, Sanzo is already awake, and is watching him.
"Ah!" Goku wriggles away from Sanzo, his eyes as wide as saucers, waiting for the inevitable beating that he'll get.
"Where do you think you're going, baka?"
Goku freezes and swallows. Sanzo looks angry, but then, he always looks angry.
"Um…" Goku says shakily, "breakfast."
Sanzo still looks angry. Only, when Goku spoke, Sanzo's eyes dropped to his lips as they moulded the word. He's still looking at Goku's lips, and the scowl on his face is deepening.
Nervously, Goku bites his lip, and the scowl becomes positively menacing. Goku is in no doubt that he is about to die, so with a yelp he launches himself off the bed.
But he doesn't quite make it, Sanzo grabs his shoulders and slams him back into the mattress before Goku can escape.
"Breakfast." Sanzo repeats, holding Goku down beneath him, and still watching his mouth.
Goku knows he could get away if he really wanted too. But then he really would suffer a most painful and bloody death, so he decides to keep perfectly still and hope Sanzo gets bored with torturing him.
When nothing happens for a few minutes Goku finally crumbles under the intense scowl on Sanzo's face and opens his mouth to say something.
What he was going to say is immediately forgotten as Sanzo's mouth covers his own.
For an instant he is shocked into stillness, he daren't move, or even breath. But then Sanzo's tongue delves into his mouth and the moan that escapes him is captured by Sanzo. He's never kissed Sanzo before. That was the biggest rule the monk had set down. No talking, no staying, no kissing. Definitely no kissing.
But Sanzo had said his name hadn't he? And Goku had stayed in Sanzo's bed until morning, and now…
Sanzo caresses Goku's tongue with his own for a moment longer before pulling away. He's still frowning slightly, but when Goku looks carefully there is something new in the depths of his eyes.
Sanzo rolls off the bed and snatches his cigarettes up off the table, "go wake the other idiots up."
Goku sits up, still in a slight daze, and watches as Sanzo lights up one of his cigarettes. He thinks that maybe he should say something, but the scowl that had been darkening Sanzo's features is entirely gone. Instead the monk looks a damn sight calmer than he ever has before. It's actually quite disconcerting, but it brings a smile to Goku's face.
"What?" Sanzo snaps, the scowl back once again, "what are you looking at? Bakasaru!"
Goku narrowly dodges the fan of doom and swipes up his clothes from the floor. He can't stop smiling, even though Sanzo is trying to brain him with a paper fan. All of a sudden, he has far too much to smile about.
Maybe hoping will end in tears, but not all tears are of sadness.
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