Chapter: 7 - Seven of Wands
Email: aeneus111 (a) hotmail (dot) com
Rating: Hard R
Summary: Cho Gonou enters Sanzo's life, turning it upside down. Sanzo needs to cope with the aftermath.
A/N: Written for the 78_tarot LJ community. Beta'ed by Car Jack and Sanzo Chama <3
Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to Kazuya Minekura. This is written purely for my own entertainment and hopefully that of others. Tarot cards can have complex meanings. I've picked the elements that best benefited the characters and storyline.
Sanzo was just about to leave when the unmistakable sound of Goku's footsteps coming from behind him caught his ears. Sanzo was already running late and he didn't want to leave Hakkai waiting, so he ignored the sound and continued on his way. With only five steps outside the temple, Goku had caught up with him and was pulling the back of his shirt.
"Why can't I come?" Goku asked, after Sanzo had to turn around to acknowledge him. He should never have admitted he was going to visit Hakkai today.
"This is for grown-ups," Sanzo grumbled.
Goku looked disappointed. "But you're not fighting anymore and I want to see Hakkai."
Sanzo pulled himself loose and turned around. "You'll see him some other time." He walked away without looking back. He was tense enough as it was without having to explain himself to Goku, and the thought of Hakkai waiting for him, maybe having second thoughts, made him all the more determined to leave.
The walk over to Gojyo's house went more quickly than Sanzo had anticipated. He had hardly time to order his thoughts properly; his mind was still going over what he should say when he already found himself opposite the front door. Hakkai was behind that door - waiting for him - for him. Sanzo took a deep breath and straightened his shirt. What on earth had he gotten himself in too?
A few seconds after knocking, Hakkai opened the door - smiling. Sanzo released the breath he had been holding. Seeing Hakkai look at him like that made Sanzo forget for a moment what he'd been nervous about. It was still novel to Sanzo to look at the man and let himself be taken in by the attraction without having to stop himself. Sanzo savored a moment of it, before letting Hakkai lead him inside and close the door.
As soon as he was inside, Hakkai grabbed him and kissed him quickly on the lips. It was a brief, light kiss, taking Sanzo by surprise and making his stomach flutter. Hakkai merely smiled. "Good to see you," he said. "I hope Goku is well."
"Yeah," Sanzo answered, suppressing a twinge of guilt at remembering Goku's disappointed look as he had left him at the temple, "he's fine." After all these years he'd thought he'd be immune to those big eyes. He followed Hakkai to the living room and found it luckily devoid of Gojyo.
"I've sent Gojyo out on some errands," Hakkai said, confirming his observation. Sanzo didn't like to guess how Gojyo was taking that particular arrangement, but he was grateful enough not to dwell on it.
They sat down and soon Sanzo was sitting back with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Hakkai was sitting next to him, close enough for their legs to touch. Sanzo could feel the heat burning through his jeans. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, so he smoked and sipped his beer and tried not to be distracted too much by the particular spot on the outside of his right thigh where Hakkai's left knee was making contact. Hakkai was chatting away, but Sanzo was hardly taking in the words. Hakkai seemed so casual, Sanzo made a conscious effort to relax. Was this what other people would call a date? He wondered if he could lean over and kiss Hakkai again. Instead, he began picking at the label of his beer bottle.
Sanzo stopped shredding the leftover pieces of label and looked up at Hakkai's expecting face. He tried to remember that Hakkai had been taking about. "What?"
"I won't bite," Hakkai said with a reassuring smile.
Sanzo chuckled. If this was a date, he must be the worst date ever. "I'm sorry," Sanzo said. "I don't know what to do."
"You don't have to do anything." Hakkai said. "We sit, we talk, we enjoy each other's company. Like we always do."
Sanzo sighed. Hakkai seemed five steps ahead of him. "You have this all figured out," he said before he could stop himself.
Hakkai looked in his drink. "Is this going too fast for you?"
Sanzo shrugged uncomfortably. He really didn't know where he was going in the first place, let alone the timeframe. But he felt he should be doing more. Gods knew, he wanted to do more. He wanted to take all of Hakkai's clothes off and touch every inch of him. But right now, that still seemed the stuff of his fantasies.
Hakkai reached out and touched his hand. "I'm sorry. It's just that I wasted so much time before. I don't want to make the same mistake again." Hakkai's hand moved up his arm. "Not now that I know what I feel."
Sanzo leaned into the touch. He never imagined such simply gestures could feel so good. "You said that you've never…" Sanzo struggled to find the words. Even with Hakkai's hand burning on the bare skin of his shoulder, he found it hard to say it. "…with a man…"
Hakkai smiled at Sanzo's discomfort. "No. Not that I mind finding out." Hakkai looked at him seriously. "Is that what's bothering you?"
Sanzo lit another cigarette while he thought about it; all the times men had made unwelcome advance at him; his first sight of Gonou; kissing Hakkai -- it had all turned upside-down. "No. Not anymore."
"Did you know you felt this way before?" Hakkai asked.
Sanzo took a swig of his beer, letting his thoughts go back. "When I lived at Kinzan temple, I knew things like that happened. Koumyou had warned me once, when I turned twelve - about certain monks to stay away from," Sanzo still remembered it was the only time he had seen his Master anything other than composed. "There was one teacher. He never touched me, but sometimes he would look at me and I knew he wanted to. I caught him once with another pupil." Sanzo took a long drag off his cigarette. He hadn't thought about that instance for years. At the time, he had only half-understood what they were doing, but his body had recognized it all the same. He had quickly run away without anybody noticing him. He had gone back to his room and he had jerked off for the first time. "After that…" After that he'd had other things on his mind; Koumyou's death, his search for the Sutras, Goku…
Hakkai nodded when Sanzo didn't continue. "It was very much the same at the orphanage. It was ignored and never spoken about, but everyone knew it happened. I couldn't be bothered with it. Even after I left the orphanage, I didn't think about it. I was a virgin before I found Kanan."
Virgin. Sanzo could hear Gojyo's insulting tone when he called him that. He was still behind on Hakkai in that respect. But like that time at Kinzan, he might not always be clear on what his mind was thinking, but his body was damn sure. And it was clearly determined to be close to Hakkai.
"So you've never…not even with a woman?" Hakkai asked.
Sanzo thought back to his encounter by the West Gate and cringed. "No," he answered. Right now, he couldn't believe he had even tried.
Hakkai leaned over to give him another quick kiss, but this time Sanzo saw it coming. His hand held Hakkai's head, pulling him closer and letting the kiss linger. He wanted to forget about talking, he wanted to forget about questions. Sanzo remembered what Hakkai had done the day before and let his tongue slip into the other man's mouth. Hakkai moaned softly, encouraging Sanzo to keep going and taste more. Sanzo felt a yearning build inside of him as Hakkai leaned against him, his arms folding around Sanzo's neck and giving back what Sanzo was doing to him. This he could understand; his body unmistakably responding to Hakkai's closeness.
"So how did you first know?" Hakkai asked out of breath, after they had finally pulled apart.
Hakkai was practically sitting in Sanzo's lap now; close enough that he was sure to notice Sanzo's hard-on. "I dreamt," Sanzo admitted.
"You," Sanzo said. Hakkai didn't move, his arms still resting over Sanzo's shoulders. He smiled knowingly. "And me," Sanzo conceded.
Hakkai slid down to the floor and sat in front of him. He put his hand on Sanzo's crotch, feeling the bulge. "Like this?"
Sanzo hissed. The resemblance to his dreams was uncanny, making Sanzo rapidly dizzy with desire. "Yes," he managed to say, as he looked at Hakkai's face. Hakkai's hand popped the top button of his jeans and slowly started to unzip him, giving Sanzo time to stop him if he wanted to. But Sanzo couldn't do anything. He sat frozen, the anticipation for something he wasn't even sure of churning in his stomach. His erection was already painfully hard, he was afraid he would come if Hakkai touched it.
"Is this okay?" Hakkai asked, wetting his lips and looking up at him, his hand resting at the base of Sanzo's cock.
Sanzo cleared his suddenly dry throat. He should be asking Hakkai that question, he should stop this for Hakkai's sake. This was something different from kissing. But Hakkai didn't look put off by the prospect of taking this further and it felt as if every fiber in Sanzo's body was waiting for the next step.
Sanzo nodded, not trusting himself to say anything. He gasped as Hakkai took hold of him. Hakkai looked at his cock as if to study it for a moment and then slowly lowered his head and took the tip of Sanzo's erection in his mouth. Sanzo stiffened and it took all of his efforts not to come immediately. He could feel Hakkai's tongue move over the sensitive head. As Hakkai licked further, more and more of his cock was going into Hakkai's mouth and then, the man began to suck. The sensation was similar to what the West Gate girl had tried to do, but so many times stronger that Sanzo had pushed his hips forwards before he could stop himself.
This was too much. Within seconds he knew he was going to explode, but there was no way he could come in Hakkai's mouth. "No! Hakkai!" Sanzo tried to warn him, pulling himself away but not getting further than the back of the couch.
But Hakkai didn't seem to hear or understand, keeping up the excruciating suction till it was too late and Sanzo couldn't hold back any longer. He was still deep in Hakkai's mouth as he came. Sanzo was fixated by the sight of his cock disappearing in Hakkai's mouth. He could feel Hakkai's throat swallowing around him and Hakkai's fingers digging into his thighs as he held on while Sanzo's orgasm lasted.
At last, Hakkai released his limp cock and leaned back. His eyes were dazed and his lips were swollen and glistening. His tongue darted out to lick the lips, as if he was tasting the last of Sanzo. The image alone almost made Sanzo hard again.
Finally Hakkai looked up at him. "Was that too much?"
Sanzo almost laughed. Hakkai looked sincerely worried when Sanzo didn't respond immediately.
"No," Sanzo mumbled as he zipped himself up. It had been good - amazingly good. More so than he felt he could express to Hakkai right now.
Hakkai sat back down next to him and took his beer like nothing special had just happened. Sanzo couldn't move as he was still reliving the experience. From what Hakkai had told him, this had been a first on both their parts. "How did you know?" Sanzo had to ask.
Hakkai shrugged. "I know that feels good on me. I thought I'd try doing the same."
Sanzo didn't doubt that Hakkai really thought about it in such practical terms. "Learn by example?"
Hakkai smiled. "That's always how I teach." The moment Hakkai had said it, he looked shocked at his own words. "I didn't mean…I mean, we can wait. You don't have to do anything."
Sanzo felt all the heat from his groin shoot up to his face. The implication, unintentional or not, that he should reciprocate somehow hung between them. He could never do that, his mind automatically flashed. Sanzo looked at Hakkai. He really did want to touch Hakkai. He reached over and let his fingers run through Hakkai's hair, if only to prove the fact to himself. But he had never really dared to think about the specifics involved. It was too much for his mind to take in now.
Hakkai's smile returned, obviously re-assured by Sanzo's gesture. He took Sanzo's hand and kissed it. "Really, it's okay" he said, then stood up to go into the kitchen, leaving Sanzo to his thoughts. Sanzo looked at Hakkai's back while he lit another cigarette. Despite the man's words, he felt he should have done more.
As soon as Sanzo returned to the temple he was greeted by Goku. Not in the best of moods, Sanzo ignored him as he walked through the corridors to his room, tuning out the persistent sound of questions coming from the monkey with practiced ability. It wasn't till he was standing in front of his room, that Goku suddenly grabbed his full attention.
"Are you and Hakkai…fooling around?"
Sanzo froze with his hand on the doorknob. The idea that Goku would think about Hakkai and him in such terms stopped him in his tracks. Goku was damn well too young to be thinking about that kind of stuff in the first place. But also the wording was unexpected, coming from Goku. "What makes you say that?"
Goku looked guilty. "I heard some of the monks talking."
"It's none of their business," Sanzo grumbled angrily, going inside and slamming the door shut. He sat down tiredly on the bed, looking back at the closed door.
Unlike his own Master, Sanzo had never sat Goku down for a 'proper talk'. There was simply no way in Hell he would ever put himself through that. Sanzo had sufficed with making it very clear to everyone else at Keiun that if they were even to look at Goku in the wrong way, let alone touch him, he would put a bullet somewhere very painful. He trusted that would be enough to keep Goku from any unwelcome exposure. But with Goku sticking to him like his shadow most of the time, it was going to be harder to avoid the questions…He would have to get Hakkai to explain it to Goku.
Sanzo let himself fall back on the bed and closed his eyes, wanting to forget about Goku for now. It didn't take long for the images of that afternoon to drift back into his mind. He could still feel Hakkai's hands holding his thighs apart, the sight of Hakkai's face looking up at him before going down on him. Within minutes Sanzo was hard again. He pulled himself out and began stroking. Sanzo tried to imagine doing the same thing to Hakkai. Maybe it was really as simply as Hakkai had made it out to be: just copy what the other man had done.
"I know what feels good on me. I thought I'd try doing the same."
But that also meant someone else had done this to Hakkai. Someone Hakkai could compare him too. An image of Hakkai with a woman between his legs flashed through Sanzo's mind, breaking his rhythm. Sanzo cursed under his breath. He took a deep breath and went back to the image, taking out the woman and focusing on Hakkai filled with the same desire he felt, going through the same sensations he was feeling. Sanzo increased his pace and it didn't take long for him to reach his second climax of the day.
He laid panting and staring up at the ceiling. Maybe, he thought, maybe he could.
The next day, Sanzo carefully avoided running into Goku. This time he hadn't mentioned the fact that he was going out to meet Hakkai again and he wasn't in the mood for any explaining. After Goku's remark yesterday, Sanzo did notice an increase in stares and mumblings by the other monks. Sanzo merely glared at them, hoping for them to leave him alone. Ever since he had taken over the duties of Head Priest after Jikaku's death, he had attracted gossip and indignation. If it wasn't for his title and the backing of the Three Aspects, Sanzo was sure the monks would gladly be rid of him. Now more than ever…
Sanzo was glad to escape the stifling atmosphere. Once he'd arrived at Hakkai's, he found that the man had managed to get rid of Gojyo yet again. At some point they would have to find a better arrangement, Sanzo thought idly, but today, he had more important things on his mind.
While Hakkai talked and fussed, Sanzo went through what he should do in his mind. Really, it couldn't be that hard. After all, Hakkai had seemed none the worse for wear for doing it. All he needed now was the right opportunity.
But Hakkai seemed more distant than the day before; touches were casual and kisses were quick, as if Hakkai was making a point of not pressing the issue. Sanzo was losing patience and he didn't want his resolve to waver. Ignoring whatever Hakkai was saying at the moment, he pulled the man into a particularly heated kiss, making it last till he was sure any rational thoughts had sufficiently fled. He slid his hand down and felt the hardness under the thin fabric of Hakkai's trousers. Hakkai gasped and stopped kissing. His face looked flushed, a sight Sanzo couldn't get enough of, and the encouragement for him to continue. Slowly, Sanzo dropped to his knees.
"Are you sure?" Hakkai asked.
Sure? Sanzo wasn't sure at all. His hand rested on the Hakkai's fly - there was no mistaking the hardness that lay underneath it. Sanzo noticed his hand was shaking, but he didn't want to let Hakkai down. It would be stupid to stop now. He tried to recall picturing Hakkai naked and succumbing to his touch.
It wasn't till Hakkai took his hand that Sanzo realized he hadn't moved for a while now. Sanzo looked up at Hakkai's worried face. "Don't," Hakkai said simply.
Sanzo scrambled to his feet, looking away from Hakkai. If there had been a hole in the floor, he would gladly disappear through it right now. "I'm sorry," Sanzo mumbled as he awkwardly sat back down on the couch.
"Really, I don't care," Hakkai said. "Some guys just don't like giving it."
Trust Hakkai to have done some goddamn research on it, Sanzo thought, pissed off at himself. The mood was strained for the rest of the afternoon and Sanzo left early after only a quick kiss goodbye. He hadn't even mentioned talking to Goku.
It was well into the evening when one of the monks announced he had a visitor. Sanzo was trying to catch up with his neglected paperwork, hoping it would take his mind off things. Immediately, he felt his heart start racing, expecting it to be Hakkai. He didn't know if he was ready to see him again so soon, after his embarrassing display. Sanzo was almost relieved when he saw Gojyo walk into his office.
"What are you doing here?" Sanzo asked annoyed, lighting a cigarette to hide his earlier uneasiness.
The redhead paced in front of his desk, taking his time. "I don't like getting barred from my own house."
"You said we should work it out. We did. Don't start complaining now."
"I know, I know, it just that…" Gojyo clearly had more on his mind. Sanzo was starting to wonder if Hakkai had said anything. He could see Hakkai might have been upset by his second sudden departure in their budding relationship, but he couldn't see that would justify setting Gojyo off on some kind of tantrum.
"Maybe he's not ready for this," Gojyo finally said.
Sanzo snorted at Gojyo's unwitting misinterpretation of the situation, making the Kappa look at him suspiciously. "You know what, he's not your damn pet. He can make his own decisions," Sanzo sighed.
"He doesn't always think straight."
"He'd be glad to hear you have such high esteem of him."
"That's not what I meant. You're the one who's confusing him."
Sanzo murdered his barely smoked cigarette in the nearest astray, losing his last shred of patience. "Just what the fuck is your problem?"
Gojyo finally stopped his pacing. "He's not human."
"What??" Sanzo said after a few seconds of silence, stunned as he was by this sudden turn in the conversation.
"He's a youkai now."
Sanzo was trying to wrap his head around what Gojyo was implying. "You're one to talk, half-breed." Gojyo's expression confirmed Sanzo's suspicions. "If you have such a problem with humans, you should have set him up with your friend Banri. I'm sure that would have worked out just great."
Sanzo easily ducked the fist coming his way, causing Gojyo to loose his balance through lack of impact and end up sprawled over Sanzo's desk.
Sanzo lit another cigarette while Gojyo got back on his feet. "Cut out the pathetic excuses and tell me why you're really here, or get out."
Gojyo had the decency to look embarrassed. "I'm serious. I don't want to see Hakkai hurt, okay. You're gonna have to be prepared to stick with it."
"What are you, his mother?" Sanzo exasperated.
"Look, I have no problems with two dudes getting it on, okay. And if that's what Hakkai's into, then that's fine by me. Even if he has lousy taste." Sanzo glared. Gojyo shrugged and continued. "But he's gonna get flack for this. And not just for the dude-thing."
"So, that's our problem. We'll deal with it."
"Will you? Do you have any idea what you're getting into?"
Gojyo looked at him hard, making Sanzo feel uncomfortable, till he had to look away. It would seem even Gojyo was five steps ahead of him.
Gojyo sighed and plumbed down in the seat across from Sanzo. He picked a cigarette pack out off his vest and lit one. "So, are you guys…serious?" he asked after blowing out his first lungful of smoke.
Sanzo took a long drag off his own cigarette. He knew damn well there was no turning back. "Yeah," he admitted, if only so Gojyo would shut up about it.
Gojyo shook his head and chuckled. "You'd better be prepared then."
A/N: Seven of Wands: loss of control, jealousy, competition, attack, rivals
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