TITLE: Smoke and Mirrors

EMAIL: aeneus111 (at) hotmail (dot) com
PAIRING: Goku/Hakkai
SUMMARY: Goku is growing up, but no one seems to notice but Hakkai.
DISCLAIMER: All of these characters are Kazuya Minekura's. This is written purely for my own entertainment and hopefully that of others.
FEEDBACK: Highly appreciated
WARNING: Sharing cigarettes can cause great pleasure to you and others around you ;-)

NOTE: A very late birthday present for zookitty. Big thanks to my betas lirannutian and darkfire_blade.





The door slammed hard against its frame, bouncing back open to reveal Sanzo's retreating strides. Muttered words of 'having had enough of this' and 'needing some damn privacy' echoed faintly through the hall. Goku viewed Sanzo's back as the priest stomped down the stairs and out of sight. Sometimes it was just too easy to get under Sanzo's skin. Not that Goku didn't feel a little bit guilty. But once in a while even he needed a bit of privacy of his own. It was time Sanzo stopped thinking of himself has his damn keeper.


Goku looked around the room. Sanzo's newspaper lay open on the table. Sanzo didn't like anyone touching it till he'd finished with it. And then he would usually give it to Hakkai. It had never occurred to the priest Goku would be interested in reading it too. Goku picked it up and leafed through the pages. Next on the table was an almost finished pack of cigarettes and a full astray.


Sanzo didn't like anyone touching his cigarettes either.


Goku extracted a cigarette from the crumpled pack. Sanzo smoked so much, it was unlikely that he would miss a few. At least he had never done so before. Or maybe he just never assumed it was Goku. There was no lighter on the table. His eyes scanned the room but came up empty. Frustrated, Goku shoved the cigarette back in its pack. It wasn't often he had the luxury of a smoke. Not with Sanzo hovering over him all the time.


Goku knew Gojyo was out, so there was no chance of getting a light of him. The only one in was Hakkai. Thinking about Hakkai meant Goku soon lost interest in reading. He discarded the newspaper and pocketed cigarettes. This was as good an opportunity as any to spend some time with their quiet teammate.


Goku crossed the hall and knocked on the door. Hakkai's voice told him to come in. When he entered Hakkai was standing by the window looking out over the street below. Goku wondered if he had been watching Sanzo leave.


"I couldn't help but overhear," Hakkai remarked apologetically. "The walls are quite thin."


"I don't care," Goku said back. It came out sounding more petulant than he wanted.


Goku sat down at the only table in the room. Soon Hakkai joined him. Goku pulled out Sanzo's cigarettes and put them in front of him on the table. Hakkai looked at the pack, picked it up, studied it and put it back on the table. After a few moments of silence he finally said: "Are you going to smoke those?"


It was not what Goku had expected him to say. "You don't mind?" he stumbled, immediately realizing how stupid that was.


The look on Hakkai's face told Goku the same. "Please, I live with Gojyo."


"I mean, you don't mind me smoking," Goku explained.


Hakkai leaned back in his chair and looked at Goku. "Should I?"


Hakkai's look was sending a shiver down Goku's spine. He didn't answer and focused his attention instead on picking a cigarette without breaking it. He held it out between his fingers. "Err -- I don't have a light."


Hakkai smiled a little more devious than usual. He left the table and crossed the room. He pulled Gojyo's pack from under the second bed and produced one of Gojyo's many spare lighters. Back at the table Hakkai flicked open the lighter and held the small flame in front of him. The familiar scent of burning lighter fluid filled the space between them. Goku had to lean over the table to reach the flame. Hakkai's eyes followed him all the way. Goku inhaled and blew the smoke up into air.


"Mind sharing those?"


Goku looked at him surprised. "You smoke?"




Goku pushed the pack over to Hakkai. He watched from the corner of his eye as Hakkai lit his cigarette, took one long drag and held it before exhaling slowly. His lips were slightly apart to allow the smoke to drift free.


"I've never seen you smoke," Goku said as he watched mesmerized. Or had he? Goku squinted, trying to catch the fleeting memory. It felt like a good memory; something he trusted. But it was like a dream he couldn't remember once he had woken up. Goku really hated those feelings.


Hakkai took another drag before answering: "I'm sorry; I know you don't like secrets."


"It's okay," Goku said. "All grown-ups have secrets, right?" After all, Goku didn't smoke openly either. He wasn't ready to test Sanzo on that issue. Or maybe he preferred having something Sanzo didn't know about.


"Yes, I suppose so." Hakkai balance his cigarette between his fingers. "These aren't bad; maybe I should convince Gojyo to switch brands."


"Gojyo lets you smoke his?" The Kappa was almost as territorial about his smokes as Sanzo was. And since Hakkai did practically all their shopping, it wasn't like he couldn't pick his own brand.


"Oh, he doesn't know." Hakkai smiled conspiratorially at Goku. Goku loved how Hakkai did that: making him feel like an equal. He hoped to any of the Gods out there he wasn't blushing right now.


"Please, don't tell Gojyo," Hakkai added as he moved forward to flick some ash into the ashtray, his hand hovering a moment longer near Goku's.


Goku took a shaky drag of his own cigarette. "Of course not."


"He'll worry."


Goku almost swallowed a lung full of smoke. "Gojyo?"


"He worries more than you realize. So does Sanzo." Hakkai leaned his elbows on the table, closing the space between them.


Goku looked away. "Sanzo treats me like a kid," he mumbled.


"I know. You'll have to forgive him. He doesn't really know how to…handle people."


"Tell me about it," Goku said as he looked back.


Hakkai's eyes were trained on the table. "If something bothers you, you have to show him clearly. Sanzo doesn't respond well to subtlety."


"Yeah," Goku replied hesitantly, having the feeling Hakkai was saying something more than he was actually saying. Something Hakkai was wont to do.


Hakkai dropped the stub of his cigarette in the ashtray and looked up. "No use dancing around the issue, ne?"


Hakkai's penetrating gaze dried up any reply Goku might have had. Normal human physiology might not apply to him, but Goku was still pretty sure he shouldn't be having hot flashes. So that could be no excuse for the sudden heat rising through his body. He took a nervous last drag and dropped the stub in the ashtray, next to Hakkai's.


Hakkai picked up the pack and looked inside. "It's the last one," he said as his slender fingers pulled out the final stick. "You want to share?"


Goku's eyes shifted from the cigarette in Hakkai's hand to Hakkai's questioning eyes. He swallowed. "Sure."


"Close your eyes."


Goku did as Hakkai told him. He could hear the lighter flicking open, followed by the sound of a slow deep intake of breath passing between Hakkai's lips. Goku could envision Hakkai sucking the nicotine filled air through the filter and into his lungs. The smell of tobacco teased his nostrils, alerting him how close Hakkai was. The touch of a thumb on his chin guided his mouth open. Hakkai's lips touched his own and Goku let the secondhand smoke cross over, inhaling softly to draw it in. Goku pulled away slightly. He held the smoke, mixed with Hakkai's breath, inside till he started to feel dizzy. Then he slowly exhaled.


Goku opened his eyes, meeting Hakkai's just across the table. The last of the smoke drifted up between them. The sounds of Hakkai's labored breathing filled the silence. It was clear Hakkai was as aroused as he was right now. Goku breeched the small gap and pressed his mouth against Hakkai. It didn't take much pressure for Hakkai's mouth to open and allow Goku's tongue to explore. Goku savored the last traces of tobacco and nicotine. His hands circled around Hakkai's neck, making sure the other man would not pull away. Goku had fantasized about this moment for too long to let that happen.


He could feel Hakkai's hands pulling on his shirt, trying to unbutton it blindly. He would have gladly lent a hand, but he then he would have to stop touching Hakkai and that was something he definitely didn't want to do right now. When they finally pulled apart, both men were breathing heavily.


"Hakkai?" Goku asked, even though he wasn't sure what he was asking for.


"Yes Goku." Hakkai breathed, his hands still hanging on to Goku's shirt.


It was like hearing Hakkai say his name for the first time. Never had Goku heard his own name said with so much longing. He felt he should say something back, something to put his emotions into words, but his brain was deserting him.


"I don't know," he finally said.


Hakkai smiled. "That's okay." His hands moved through Goku's hair and pulled him closer for a more leisurely kiss. "Let's go to my bed."


Settled on one of the beds, Hakkai resumed his task of unbuttoning Goku's shirt. Between touches, strokes and kisses, both men were gradually stripped to their underwear. Goku's eyes feasted on every inch of Hakkai's skin. It was like he was seeing the man for the first time. His fingers traced the smooth lines and jagged scars. He loved how Hakkai's breath would hitch as he stroked certain parts.


Hakkai's arms tangled around Goku's waist, pulling him closer so their whole bodies were touching. His hand moved down Goku's back to the bottom of his spine. Goku responded to the touch by pressing forwards against Hakkai's erection.


Hakkai hissed.

Encouraged, Goku pushed Hakkai over on his back so he could use his weight. Underwear was finally discarded. Having Hakkai naked underneath him spiked Goku's arousal even more. Hakkai pushed Goku up, making room for his hand to circle Goku's erection. Goku was already as hard as he'd ever been and could hardly bear Hakkai's touch. Before long the sensations were getting too much and he had to stop Hakkai's hand to give himself a couple of seconds breathing time.


"Do you know what to do?" Hakkai asked tentatively.


Goku set back on his knees, facing Hakkai. "A bit," he replied evasively. He had fooled around with one of the monks at Kizun temple once or twice. Another thing Sanzo had never cared to realize.


"Wait." Hakkai pulled away and climbed out the bed. He hopped over to the other side of the room and fumbled in Gojyo's pack. He returned with condoms and lube, handing them to Goku before he jumped back on the bed. Goku stared at them for a moment, making sure he understood what Hakkai was implying.


"You won't hurt me," Hakkai said, a tentative smile showing he didn't think Goku ever could. Goku let the words sink in. Nothing of the experimenting he done before had included this part. In the silence, a trace of insecurity crossed over Hakkai's face.


"Don't let me," Goku said back. Hakkai nodded in understanding. Sudden nervousness was making Goku's fingers shake. He cursed himself, looking like a kid unable to get the condom out of the wrapper. Hakkai's hand steadied him and took over the foil pack. Goku looked on as Hakkai removed the condom from the package. Goku had to bite his lip when Hakkai took hold of his erection again. An evil little smile on Hakkai's face told him the other man knew exactly what he was doing while he slowly unrolled the condom. Goku shuddered as Hakkai applied the lube in long stokes. He was afraid he was going to come right then.


Finally Hakkai released Goku and lay back against the pillows, letting Goku settle in between his knees. He handed Goku the lube back.


"Can you prepare me?" he asked gently.


Goku nodded. He breathed deeply. He could show Hakkai he wasn't some fumbling teenager on his first date. If Hakkai was allowing him to do this, he had to be worthy of Hakkai's respect.


Goku spread the lube on his fingers while Hakkai raised his long legs over Goku's shoulders. Carefully, Goku stroked around Hakkai's entrance before pressing one finger inside. He waited a moment, fascinated by the heat of Hakkai's body and the muscles holding his finger inside.


Hakkai hummed encouragingly. Goku pushed in another finger, sliding them together in rhythm with Hakkai's breathing. He felt Hakkai's muscles loosing up, allowing him to move freely.


When he pulled out he looked at Hakkai, spread out underneath him and waiting for him to go on. Goku was almost frozen by the sight. He positioned himself; still not quiet believing they were doing this. He hesitated. Hakkai leaned forward, reaching out and guiding Goku inside of him. Goku held his breath, too focused on the sensation of sliding inside the other men's body to bother with oxygen.


Goku lay still, feeling Hakkai's chest rise and fall underneath him. Hakkai's hands were buried in his hair. A sheen of sweat coating his skin. "Please, Goku. Move."


It felt so tight, Goku wasn't sure he could. As slowly as he could, Goku began a rocking motion. Hakkai's body formed against his, pushing Goku on to increase his speed. They breathed in tandem. Hakkai's breath hitching now and again as Goku searched for a rhythm.


Hakkai hands reached for his own erection and began rhythmically stroking it. Lust and arousal was thick between them. Goku learned quickly which moves elicited the best responds from the other man. He tried everything he could to keep hearing Hakkai moan. To Goku that was the best sound he'd ever heard.


Hakkai arched back and let out a long moan as milky liquid spilled out of his erection. Seeing the other men's release made Goku more hunger for his own. He quickened his pace, mindful of Hakkai's reaction, but the man didn't seem to mind. Hakkai bent his legs back further, allowing more of Goku's weight on top of him. He pulled Goku's head down and kissed with a ferocity that almost stopped Goku's in his tracks. The taste of Hakkai's mouth, mixed with sweat and lingering nicotine was intoxicating. His cry was buried in Hakkai's mouth as he came inside him.


He pulled out and collapsed in Hakkai's arms. He didn't care that they were both covered in sweat and other fluids, or that the sheets were hopelessly tangled underneath them. He didn't mind along as he could stay plastered against Hakkai body, feeling the other man lazily stroke his hair.


"I believe this situation usually requires a cigarette to be smoked," Hakkai finally remarked.


Goku smiled. "We're out."


"Remind me to bring Gojyo's next time."


Goku leaned back to look at Hakkai. "Next time?"


Hakkai raised an eyebrow and gave him his former teacher look. Goku remembered it very well. It was the look Hakkai had when he thought Goku wasn't grasping something very obvious. Goku nodded and nuzzled back against Hakkai's body. Hakkai's arm came around his waist. "Let's keep this a secret."


Goku sighed contently. "For now," he replied, already half asleep. But the longer they lay together; a nagging feeling in the back of Goku's brain was getting stronger. Until he couldn't ignore it anymore. Finally he had to say something.




Hakkai shifted underneath him. "Yes Goku."


"I'm hungry."





october 2006

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