Title: 58 Jukebox
Author: Aeneus (http://aeneus.livejournal.com/)
Pairing: Hakkai/Gojyo

Rating: PG-13 overall

Summary: 10 drabbles of the Hakkai/Gojyo kind

Word Count: 10 x 100 = 1000 (excluding titles & lyrics)

Beta: car_jack


Meme: set MP3 player to random all tracks and list the first 10 songs that come up. Write drabble for each song.




I Feel You – Depeche Mode


This is the morning of our love


"Mornin'," Gojyo grumbled as he opened his eyes and found Hakkai looking back at him.


"It's afternoon," Hakkai replied dryly.


"Damn, do we have to get up?"


Hakkai kissed him softly. If Gojyo had known he could wake up like this he would have given in to his attraction for Hakkai a long time ago.


"No, I think it can be morning a bit longer." Hakkai smiled seductively and Gojyo felt his stomach flip. He pulled Hakkai back into a more heated kiss. If it was up to him, they wouldn't leave the bed for the rest of the day.



Yeat's Grave – The Cranberries


Had they but courage equal to desire


The denial gave him strength. At least that's how Hakkai used to think of it. It was his own way of repenting for his crimes and the stain he carried. But at night, when images of Gojyo haunted him, he knew that it wasn't strength but weakness. He hadn't been able to protect her and he dared not risk being that vulnerable again.


That's why he stayed silent when Gojyo told him that he loved him; why he turned away when Gojyo reached for him; why he didn't move when Gojyo left.


Now there's no strength or weakness, just regret.


Doe Het Goed – Van Dik Hout


Ik heb geen plaats meer in mijn hoofd,

geen emotie getoond

(I have no more room in my head,

 showed no emotion)


There's a lot in Hakkai's mind securely cordoned of. The walls he has built in his mind hold back the horror of what he's done. They hold back the fear of what he's capable of. They hold back the anger over the wrongs in his past.


Then Gojyo started chipping away, happily and persistently, and Hakkai realised that rather than protecting himself and others from the darkness, he was trapping the last bit of beauty from his past inside as well: a blinding capacity to love.


When next Gojyo looks at him a certain way, Hakkai carefully opens a window.



Cryptorchid – Marilyn Manson


Each time I make my mother cry

an Angel dies and falls from Heaven


Gojyo sank back against Hakkai, letting the other man's arms cradle him in unspoken support. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself not to cry. He hated how after all these years, the sight of a beautiful woman's tears could still get to him like that. But worse, he felt like he was letting Hakkai down, by dwelling on the past instead of their future.


"I'm here," Hakkai said softly and inside Gojyo a dam broke. He crumpled and cried like a six year old desperate for his mother's love.


Hakkai cradled him, whispering support, and kissing the tears away.




Where Do We Go From Here? – Buffy The Vampire Slayer Cast


The battle's done, and we kind of won


"What do we do now?" Hakkai asked. The silhouette of the village they had left so many years ago finally loomed on the horizon. It was good to be back after their seemingly endless journey, but right now, it didn't feel like much of a victory to Hakkai. It felt like the end.


"We go home," Gojyo answered.


"Home?" Hakkai echoed uncertainly.


"Of course, where else were you planning on going?"


Hakkai turned to Gojyo and looked at him. "It is your house, Gojyo."


Gojyo met his eyes and smiled broadly. "Yeah, but it's not home without you there too."



Thinking Of You – A Perfect Circle


Something about a little evil that makes
that unmistakable noise I was hearing


Hakkai bit his lip as he listened to the sounds coming from Gojyo's bed. Doesn't he know how loud he was?


Looking through his eyelashes, Hakkai could just make out the rhythmic shifting of sheets as Gojyo's hand moved in a steady pace. Involuntarily, his hand moved to his own crotch. He stopped himself just in time and held his breath as Gojyo finally arched, a satisfied moan filling the air.


After a few seconds Gojyo turned on his side and looked straight at Hakkai, smiled and winked. Hakkai quickly turned away and buried himself deep in the covers. Bastard.



Powerless – Nelly Furtado


Paint me over with your dreams


Gojyo tries not to flinch when Hakkai's fingers come to rest in his hair. He is pressed up against him, murmuring in his sleep. Gojyo can't sleep, a sickening feeling keeping him awake. It shouldn't have been like this. It should have just been sex.


In the heat of the moment, it had been easy to pretend they were both answering a need for a willing body. But Hakkai didn't just need anybody; he needed a ghost. It's there in the name he whispers as he strokes Gojyo's hair, no longer red in the darkness, but brown in his dreams.



Happy Together – The Turtles


No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be


Sometimes it feels to Hakkai like he has known Gojyo all his life. The ease he feels around him carries a familiarity he has not experienced with anyone else. He has never spoken about this to Gojyo, but he suspects it's the same for him. He can tell by the way Gojyo accepted him into his life, like there was a space just for him.


Even their bodies seem to know each other, coming together effortlessly when the time was right. Hakkai lost faith in any Gods long ago, but in this instance, he knows it was meant to be.



All I Ask – Crowded House


Oh, please let me stray far from familiar things


"I'm scared."


Bodies close enough to touch.


"It's okay. I'm here. I will never hurt you."


Words of reassurance.


"I've never…"


A tentative touch.


"Me neither. But I love you. I love you so much. I want to be with you."


Words of desperation.


"I don't know what to do."


Fingers withdrawn.


"We'll figure it out. Together. Just you and me."


Words of hope.


"I want this too."


A hand on his lips, a stroke of promise.


"I want you more than anything. Whatever happens, I will always want you."


Words of faith.


"I love you."


"I love you too."



Get Up While You Can – Atari Teenage Riot


You're in control of being under control


Sometimes Gojyo is jealous of Hakkai's power limiters. They are inconspicuous and let him hide the identity he shuns. Gojyo can't hide his red eyes and red hair. His 'mistake' is in the open for everyone to see. He wonders what it would be like to look normal.


Lost in thought, he strokes one of the small metal cuffs and Hakkai turns sharply, enough fear in his eyes to stun Gojyo. He retracts his hand and Hakkai molds his face back into vacuous neutrality. But Gojyo still feels the terror and shame lingering. Maybe he's not so jealous after all. 

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